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IVF unavailable on NHS for couples where one partner already has a child

(19 Posts)
fullofcold Tue 05-Nov-13 09:52:14

I was reading in the Daily Fail (which I only read for the comments....honest!) and saw an article about how a couple were refused IVF treatment on the NHS as her partner was already a Father.

I understand funds are limited, but I also can't help feeling that this is so unfair, as the woman is childless. My DP and a DD and I am in no way a mother to her. If we needed help, and were refused on the basis that we are not childless I would be so hurt. Sometimes I already feel that I made the wrong decision dating a man with a child, as sometimes it is just so hard! This would just make it so much more difficult!

What do you all think about this? I just think at least one attempt should be offered.

OzzieMozzie Tue 05-Nov-13 09:54:43

I think that the balance between cutting back on IVF and funding other things, eg. expensive cancer treatments, means that hard decisions need to be made.

holidaysarenice Tue 05-Nov-13 09:58:38

This has been the case for a long time.

I know they don't but I think it should be one cycle per person with issues. So say it was ur dp - no you wudnt get treatment as he has a child. But if it was you - then yes you would because you haven't had a child.

I know in reality that doesn't work as often it is unexplained or both partners.

Also I could imagine people wanting 3 or 4 kids if there was no limit, and how could it be justified that you can do it with a different partner but a happily married couple are only allowed one?!

bakingaddict Tue 05-Nov-13 10:06:07

Don't different health authorities have different rules regarding IVF funding so like cancer treatments it's basically a post-code lottery. Agree with Ozzie, regardless of the morality of whether some treatments should be funded at the expense of others, this kind of rationing is going to become more prevalent in the NHS as the availability and costs of advanced treatments soar

Branleuse Tue 05-Nov-13 10:14:04

i dont think IVF should be on the NHS at all.

YoureBeingASillyBilly Tue 05-Nov-13 10:17:23

I have to say i agree with branleuse. I have never understood why it is available on the NHS.

fullofcold Tue 05-Nov-13 10:40:47

I agree that it shouldn't be available on the NHS and I also understand that there are life saving treatments that are more important. However I only see it as unfair as some couples are allowed.

YoureBeingASillyBilly Tue 05-Nov-13 10:59:40

well a line has to be drawn somewhere doesn't it? one person could keep remarrying and having IVF funded by the NHS with each new partner if there wasn't a rule in place.

givemeaclue Tue 05-Nov-13 11:06:38

I did see this in the mail, couldn't understand how it is news, always been the case.
She can have ivf, she just has to pay for it herself. If she really wants it, she will pay for it. She is not being denied a child, the nhs is decline to pay for treatment she can fund herself. I say this as someone who had to pay for own treatment, before any funding was available.

CountryGal13 Wed 06-Nov-13 21:56:42

It's totally unfair. I'm not a mother to my dsc so why should I be penalised if I needed help. If funding is limited then it should be one go per couple or none on the NHS for anyone. Whoever thought of that exemption certainly wasn't a step parent!

givemeaclue Thu 07-Nov-13 09:46:20

There are lots of exemptions, this is only one of them. Even if eligible for nhs treatment as waiting lists are long many people go private anyway.

NoComet Thu 07-Nov-13 09:51:17

I think IVF should be available to fund one child per couple.

Being non resident SP to a teen, is not really experiencing all of parenthood.

ReallyTired Thu 07-Nov-13 10:00:18

I feel a big priority should be to reduce costs of IVF on the NHS. This technique looks promising at reducing the cost of a cycle to £170

If a cycle of IVF costs £170 then we wouldn't be having this thread.

I hope that fullofcold concieves naturally and not need any form of IVF.

givemeaclue Thu 07-Nov-13 14:03:18

One child per couple would mean unlimited number of Ivf cycles. Currently even for those eligible they get one nhs cycle only, not unlimited cycles till they have a child. Where would funding for that come from?

ReallyTired Thu 07-Nov-13 14:36:48

Even if the NHS has a money tree somewhere I don't think that unlimited IVF cycles is a good idea. IVF is emotionally harrowing and drugs can harm a woman's body.

I really hope the cost of IVF comes down. Then there will be no need for these arguements.

KittenCamile Sat 16-Nov-13 19:38:00

My DP has a DD and he is currently infertile, has a 0 sperm count. I am fine, no fertility problems at all. We are not eligible on the nhs for ivf.

It is over 10 grand for what we would need privately. Because DP can't afford to save that money as he has a DD I am working all hours to try. I'm on anti anxiety pills, have serious ibs, depression and my hair is falling out. The nhs cover me for the cbt treatment I am having to cope with the stress of not getting any help plus I have weekly appointments with the doctor to help me with medication.

Not sure I'm saving the nhs any money really. Don't under estimate the effect infertility can have on a person. If I was single and had fertility problems I would be eligible.

eslteacher Sat 16-Nov-13 20:58:39

I agree it is not fair at all to make IVF unavailable to someone unable to conceive, with no children, whose partner already has a child.

It seems to me there is a big difference between 'but then you'd have unnlimited tries if you keep swapping partners' and 'tough you can't even have one try if you have a stepchild'. Should be done on a case by case basis, I think.

Or it should just be removed from the NHS together. But this particular legislation seems really discriminatory to me. As SM's are reminded again and again all over mumsnet, 'your DSC are not your children, you're not their mother, you're just their dads partner'...

eslteacher Sat 16-Nov-13 21:00:55

Kitten, that sounds so hard. I am so sorry and hope you and your DP find a way eventually. A great example of how this NHS rule is just unfair in practice.

DifferenceEngine Sat 16-Nov-13 21:08:57

This has happened to two of my friends.

Both dp' s have near adult kids, both women have fertility issues and are desperate for kids.

How can the existence of an adult, who the woman played absolutely no part in raising prevent her from something someone else would get free?

Doesn't seem fair

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