Hi,
DP and I have been ttc for a year. We found out in June that DP has a 0 sperm count hence no baby. He also has a DD who is nearly 5.
The NHS have been taking forever, cancelled appointment ect. I paid for a consultation privately and the doctor did very little, was convinced it was a vein and sent us back to the NHS saying he could have the op in two weeks. We waited a month for the scan (which was last week) and no vein. We are devastated. Next appointment is Oct 3rd.
The thing that is making it worse is I now can't stand to be around my DSD. I feel like my heart has broken in two and all I want to do is disappear. She started school two weeks ago and DP keeps sending me pics, DSD mum emails me (we get on ok) about all the dates we have to remember ect and I can't take it, I feel like it's all being rubbed in my face and I just can't escape it. DSD is due tonight and I just wish she was coming, I feel like I don't belong in my own house as she is just a reminder that we may never get to have a DC together.
I'm so angry, why did she get to be here and he now is infertile?! Her mum is quite lazy and doesn't spend much time with her, I would give ANYTHING to have the chance she had, why did she deserve a DC and I dont?
The worst is when DP and DSD cuddle on the sofa, I feel like I'm dying inside every time and I have to leave.
What do I do? I'm turning in to a cold horrible person that just cries and is angry all of the time. I just want us to have a family, it's all I have ever dreamed of
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completely failing at coping with this, any advice?
21 replies
KittenCamile · 25/09/2013 12:36
OP posts:
RinseAndRepeat ·
30/09/2013 14:46
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RinseAndRepeat ·
30/09/2013 14:53
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