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someone talk some sense into me..

(30 Posts)
NewStepmammy Mon 15-Jul-13 22:46:06

i am going out with someone that has two children, one boy 3 and a girl 4. i have no children myself. When i first went out with him this wasnt problem as i didnt think it was a big deal but now as the relationship goes on (2 years) im starting to realise it is. we only see them once a week but ive started to realise that me and my boyfriend are going to be doing everything first with his and his exs children first. little things like taking them to the park,bathing them, buying toys all the kids stuff first and i just feel robbed. When i have kids we'll have done everything, all the boy things with his ds and all the girl things with his dd. whats going to be left for me and my children? i worry incase by the time me and my dp have kids that we'll have done everything and he wont be as excited as he is now when playing with his kids cos he'll have done everything. i just feel with him having a boy and a girl he wont be as excited when our kid comes along. ive tried to talk to him but he shrugs it off saying im being daft. i just get down at the thought of im doing everything with some other womans kids that i should be doing with my own. can someone please talk some sense into me..?

PrettyPaperweight Wed 17-Jul-13 22:58:36

I could type a long, reasoned reply, but it's just too hot!

he did want to leave her but its easier said than done when he has a dd which he loves and didn't want to leave. As far as he knew she was in the pill.

Staying with someone doesn't make them pregnant even if they're not on the pill. Having sex with them does. Your BF had sex (presumably repeatedly) with a woman he wanted to leave.

TBH, it sounds like you and your BF are made for each other - let's hope you are right and he does treat you and your DC well when you split hmm

welshfirsttimemummy Thu 18-Jul-13 09:23:13

I totally understand how you feel. I have a 5 year old DSD and even had a few teary conversations with DH about me worrying he won't find our children special or as exciting as he already had one. But then I thought, if I had more than one child would I not find each one as exciting as the last? And I realised I was being silly and that really helped grin

LJL69 Sun 21-Jul-13 13:52:12

My DH had 3 kids pre our DD arriving. You have no idea how nice it was to have someone there who knew what they were doing particularly in first few weeks. I was really anxious and it made it far easier for me to relax a bit and enjoy DD. He was really excited about DD's arrival too

NewStepmammy Mon 22-Jul-13 23:05:37

Prettypaperweight If you had read my comments before that u would know I said 'they both were unhappy but tried to make their relationship work for the sake of their dd'. So if your going out with someone and your trying to make your relationship work...why would you not hve sex with them? If your trying to make it work? Doesn't make much sense does it. He tried to make it work they both did and she chose to stop taking the pill behind his back and bring another child into a rocky relationship. My dp is not a mind reader he had no idea that she would do that. And like I said this is not just coming from him ive seen it come from her. I don't have any sympathy with women who try and trap men with children. Its disgusting

mumandboys123 Mon 22-Jul-13 23:23:10

I'm sorry but I have to say could you know and he would say that, wouldn't he?

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