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Feeling really sorry for DP this evening :(

(22 Posts)
FedupofTurkey Thu 25-Jul-13 09:20:59

Oops wrong thread

FedupofTurkey Thu 25-Jul-13 09:14:19

Struggling, feeling inadequate sad

Kaluki Sat 22-Jun-13 22:58:59

My point is that DSD will get treats from her mum when she is with her that DS won't get.
She wasn't even in the shop!

needaholidaynow Sat 22-Jun-13 17:45:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

needaholidaynow Sat 22-Jun-13 17:36:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

needaholidaynow Sat 22-Jun-13 17:27:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OnTheNingNangNong Sat 22-Jun-13 16:22:43

I can sympathise. I had my DSS to stay while my husband was working and he sobbed that he missed his mum at bedtime. I can remember feeling the same when I was younger and away from home (I come from a split family).
The toy thing is really important. Just because she has lots (I assume your DC has nothing?) Its about being equal. Not favouring one child.

Oh and 7 year olds are continually hungry, even after tea my DS1 is famished.
She's continually trying to find her place in the world and while it is hurtful for the adults involved its kind of a necessity for children to talk about what they do at the others house. It's not a 'look what I do here, I want to do it'. So try not to think of it as a slight.

SoupDragon Sat 22-Jun-13 16:11:25

So by that reasoning every time her mum buys her something she should buy something for ds then

The DS isn't the child of the girl's mother's confused

Kaluki Sat 22-Jun-13 14:53:57

So by that reasoning every time her mum buys her something she should buy something for ds then!
What nonsense!!

Finallygotaroundtoit Sat 22-Jun-13 11:42:02

He made a huge mistake not buying her a toy - the value doen't matter. It's that he favoured his DS over her.

She's only 7 and missing her mum - ask DP to try to see it from her point of view not his

chloesaidfred Sat 22-Jun-13 11:36:26

What is his relationship with mum like? If he can talk to her then chances are she does the same thing at her house.

babyhmummy01 Sat 22-Jun-13 00:50:17

needaholiday sending hugs huni, sounds like you and dp are having a nightmare weekend.

Ignore dsd she is prob tired after a long week at school and feeling left out cos she should be with mum this weekend and now isn't.

Hug ur dp, make him a cuppa and curl up with a film

Kaluki Fri 21-Jun-13 19:59:49

I think this is one of those situations we all face at times when you feel like a shit parent and you can't do right for doing wrong!
Children can be cruel and lash out when things don't go their way. Your DP needs to grow a thick skin and ignore her. The worst thing he can do is try to appease her.
It's hard, and heartbreaking to watch. My DSC are experts at making DP feel like a crap dad and compare him to their mums bf who apparently is superman himself!
Just remind your DO that no parent is perfect and he is a good dad and its worth remembering that she is taking it out on him because she feels she can, which is a good thing.

Turniptwirl Fri 21-Jun-13 19:26:07

Give dd and dp a project to do together to distract them both from bad feelings. It can be anything! Make up a treasure hunt together for you to do, or find a collection of something (leaves, bugs, flowers, take photos) and identify them, decorate her bedroom at your house, build a den (inside or outside), make the longest paper chain in the world, cook a three course meal. Doesn't have to be anything expensive, many of these suggestions are free!

needaholidaynow Fri 21-Jun-13 18:57:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

purpleroses Fri 21-Jun-13 18:45:26

Oh yes, absolutely. Her mum's entitled to some time with her DP - and it's sometimes necessary to swap weekends around to fit in with adults' lives as well as the kids. It's healthy that they learn that that happens.
Me and my ex swap around quite a bit.

I just meant from DSD's point of view, she might be feeling a little left out and that she wouldn't necessarily have meant that she doesn't want to see her dad. It's nothing for anyone to get too fussed over - just remind her she'll see her mum after the weekend, and next weekend, and distract her with something else to do if she's missing her. It'll pass.

needaholidaynow Fri 21-Jun-13 18:37:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

purpleroses Fri 21-Jun-13 18:31:42

Does she like camping? Maybe she's feeling that her mum's left her behind - esp if she's with you outside the normal routine. Could be no reflection on how she feels about her dad at all - just that she's feeling a little rejected by her mum. But like you said, if your DP is a bit sensitive about his role and providing for her as a parent already he's probably taking it more harshly than he should. She's allowed to miss her mum sometimes though - doesn't mean your DP's done anything wrong.

needaholidaynow Fri 21-Jun-13 18:29:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

runningonwillpower Fri 21-Jun-13 18:24:56

How old is DSD?

If she's little, try seeing it from her point of view. It's hard being little sometimes.

SoupDragon Fri 21-Jun-13 18:17:35

Remember that there is every chance her mother gets a similar level of whining from her as well as "I want daddy". I know that certainly happens in my house (I'm the RP).

needaholidaynow Fri 21-Jun-13 18:13:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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