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Do your partners meet their ex's to discuss the children?

(5 Posts)
cinnamongreyhound Sun 21-May-06 19:53:54

Have just been discussing my partner meeting his ex-wife for lunch to discuss his son's birthday party.

Since we have been together she has made it clear that she wants him back and despite having a new boyfriend still rings my partner while he's there. She is always desparate to meet up with him to discuss things and wants it to be a weekly thing.

He feels that he wants to keep a good relationship with her for the sake of his son and so has agreed to meet with her on a monthly basis or if there is something specific she wants to talk about.

I feel that this is unusual and that there is almost nothing she cannot discuss with him over the phone. I can't really describe how I feel as I am 100% secure in our relationship and know that he's meeting her with the right intentions in mind but I don't like it.

I care very much about my partners son and don't want to do anything that will have a negative affect on him but I don't see that this is necessary, would appreciate other peoples opinions and experiences.

littlerach Sun 21-May-06 20:14:25

No, Dh doesn't go out to meet his ex, but does obviously meet her when he collects and drops home the children.
I don't honestly think that eithet would want to mmet uo really!

We do also communicate by phone and text, though as sd has gotten older, we often call her instead.

I would tend to agree that he has no need to meet with her, as it could all be discussed over the ohone.

Why don't you go along too?

Surfermum Sun 21-May-06 20:18:29

My x doesn't meet with his partner to discuss dsd, in fact they don't discuss her at all! Dh has tried on many occasions to speak to her and she has either hung up or slammed the door in his face! I'm sure the fact that they don't talk has caused all sorts of problems, and dsd has used it to her advantage for sure. I must say though in recent months things have been much better and he at least gets to go in for a wee when he picks dsd up. Long may it last!

I think in your case the fact that she wants him back throws a whole different light on things. If her motive for meeting him is to keep things sweet between them for the sake of their son, then I think that's fine (and I would be delighted if dh and his x could do the same), but I think weekly is excessive, and probably monthly too. Like you say, most things can surely be discussed on the phone.

cinnamongreyhound Sun 21-May-06 20:24:52

Unfortunatly not possible to go too as she will not meet me. I feel that as I'm a bit input into her son's life it would be good to have a third point of view but she hates me. Would be happy to otherwise, maybe in the future!

FruitAndNutcase Mon 22-May-06 13:05:31

My DP does not meet BM at all anymore since we had to go through solicitors etc. to get regular contact and to stop her harrassing us by phone when drunk several times a day. If he needs to arrange anything or tell her anything, he emails her. DP's parents pick children up once a month when we have them and drop them back although they, especially his dad, do not have much to say to her.

Every situation is different of course and although this works perfectly for us, it is not ideal in all situations. However, as you say she wants to get back with him, that would worry me somewhat and I would not be very happy to be in that situation. Im sure there is nothing that cannot be discussed by phone, text or email.

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