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Well would you believe it?? DSC mum has a boyfriend!

(12 Posts)
dignifiedsilence Sun 14-Apr-13 16:06:51

After all the chaos and drama my OH's ex has caused everything has gone quiet because she has a boyfriend. Boyfriend introduced immediately to DSC whilst I was sidelined for a year because of her actions. This also coincides with changes to legal aid so mediation has ended amicably. Coincidence? I think not! She is still saying things like we can keep DC for a bit longer or an extra night but I am saying no!! Call me a b@@@%% but I am not a babysitter and we are having her at the scheduled times and my OH organising extra time on his terms.

Sorry to need a rant smile

dignifiedsilence Sun 14-Apr-13 16:07:29

Sorry should say HAS organised extra time on his terms

Gigondas Sun 14-Apr-13 16:10:45

That is good for her to be Moving on. That said dh ex has had a lot of bf- none have lasted. I wouldn't wish to rain on your parade tho wink.

dignifiedsilence Sun 14-Apr-13 16:16:37

No please share Gigondas!!! Just can't believe the cheek of it even though it was obvious it was coming iyswim?

dignifiedsilence Sun 14-Apr-13 16:33:38

Feel sorry for LO she now has to cope with big changes both at home and at her dads. Wouldn't mind but they haven't even been together for over 5 years!!

Gigondas Sun 14-Apr-13 17:27:17

It's been years (and dsc older so I think understand more about changing dynamic of relationships) but the bf don't last more than a year.

balia Sun 14-Apr-13 17:27:46

My DSS's mum has had a few b/fs over the years - one was violent, blacked both her eyes (she told DSS she fell off the sofa) and one was married. The wife of the married one was not happy when she found out and dumped a pile of rotting seafood in the front garden (I was very shocked when DSS -then about 5 or 6 - was telling me a lady had dumped 'crap' in front of their door - turns out it was 'crab'!) I'd take the extra time, though, even if it is really galling.

dignifiedsilence Sun 14-Apr-13 18:20:17

I'll take as much time as possible so long as my partner has taken control and organised it iyswim. As some of us know its often the ex who controls everything and us 'new' women are made victims of an ex who wants it all her own way. I don't think that 5 minutes before she goes home is a reasonable amount of time and is against the agreement drawn up. Not only that how confusing for the LO? sad I have told him he should have her all weekend but she won't agree to that even though she sleeps at anyones house on Fridays but home. Maybe its because her CSA will go down? No, not maybe....definitely

Gigondas?Balia- Please keep sharing it does help me to feel normal LOL

balia Sun 14-Apr-13 18:27:22

Blimey, no - 5 minutes before she goes home is horrible - how rejected the child would feel. I thought you meant when he picked her up, ex was saying 'oh can you have her an extra night' kind of thing.Mind you, if your DP does want more time/full weekends might be worth taking extra while the boyfriend is on the scene, keeping a diary of the amount of contact, just in case shje splits up with him and tries to limit the contact?

But then DH's ex lives with her mum so has babysitting on tap, so the extra time thing has never arisen! (Plus ex can't stand to have DSS out of her control for a second longer than ordered)!

dignifiedsilence Mon 15-Apr-13 11:10:42

Oh balia its horrible isn't it? The agreement is 1 weeks notice and seen as she has been such a pain in the arse in the past I don't see why we should be flexible when he picks her up and says we can keep her til Monday. The type of person I am I would of offered to have her myself but due to her mothers behaviour that will never happen.
I am waiting for the DSC to turn on me next....seems to be the pattern when their mums create these problems sad
She has the same with regards babysitting but there are 1 too many grandkids on the scene now. And yes you are right about the control I see that too.

Fairy130389 Mon 15-Apr-13 21:45:42

DSD mum has now racked up
One pyromaniac who set fire to all the furnature
one man who was 'horrible to mummy and shouted at her until she cried'
one house where 'all the men used to come round all the time and it was really noisy and I couldn't sleep'
one who lived miles away and DSD used to be taken in the stroller overnight
One who moved the pitbull in
and the last one who said that he didn't want DSD to stay overnight!

Thankfully she has had maximum of one night per week contact at mums since babyhood but they certainly have been some interesting characters!

dignifiedsilence Tue 16-Apr-13 07:26:11

Blimey thats a lot for a LO to cope with. I'm glad she lives with you smile

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