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At my wits end with things like this!!

(134 Posts)
SoWhatIfImWorkingClass Fri 05-Apr-13 16:36:22

I've just posted a Facebook status that reads:

"Daniel and my two beautiful boys mean the whole world to me."

That's my partner and our two sons. I love them to the end of the universe and back.

Then I get a comment off BIL saying, "And X as your step daughter."

I am furious with him. Sick and tired of him saying stuff like this. I swiftly corrected him and told him that I do not call her that and that I am not her stepmum. I am her dad's girlfriend. Am I so so wrong that I do not love her as much as my partner and my two children? I mean, I don't treat her any differently, but the feelings of love just aren't there. So if I don't want to include her in a bloody Facebook status I won't! So so so petty.

TantrumsAndBalloons Fri 05-Apr-13 19:12:15

You said in your OP that you don't treat her any differently.

You might want to read back your posts and revise your opinion.

Poor girl.

exoticfruits Fri 05-Apr-13 19:13:40

You have 3children in your family- end of.
You can't have one child who is a second class member of the family.
If you feel like that you should keep it secret and not post it on FB.

SoWhatIfImWorkingClass Fri 05-Apr-13 19:16:20

*You said in your OP that you don't treat her any differently.

You might want to read back your posts and revise your opinion.

Poor girl.*

Please clarify how I treat her differently? Because I didn't want a bloody Mothers Day card off her, seeing as I am not her mother?? Or the fact that life still goes on when she is at her mum's and we still want to do fun things?

I don't get how she is treated unfavourably based on my examples.

SoWhatIfImWorkingClass Fri 05-Apr-13 19:17:50

You can't have one child who is a second class member of the family.

You might want to give that advice to my in laws too.

lunar1 Fri 05-Apr-13 19:17:50

Grow up, if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all. You sound like you did it to be deliberately nasty.

cleoowen Fri 05-Apr-13 19:18:51

You sound very mean OP. You should have considered your step daughters feelings if she saw it before posting it. I think it's also,mean to say to her not to give you a mothers day card,what harm would it do? I am sure she knows your not her mum but you sound like you make it pretty obvious you don't love her. Poor girl. Maybe you don't love her like your own,fair enough, but you don't need to throw it in her face.

SoWhatIfImWorkingClass Fri 05-Apr-13 19:21:49

I didn't actually say it to her that I didn't want a card, I said it to my DP and his family. She had no idea.

exoticfruits Fri 05-Apr-13 19:22:22

If I was your partner I would leave you- there is no way I would have my children treated differently. When I met my DH it was 'love me- love my DS' . I wouldn't expect him to show favouritism on the Internet.

exoticfruits Fri 05-Apr-13 19:23:13

I bet she did have an idea!

NigellaTufnel Fri 05-Apr-13 19:23:17

I don't think I have come across a more unpleasant post in some time.

She is a child, you are an adult. You are treating her like a piece if dirt.

At the very least she is your sons' sister. Think on that.

So you don't want to be called her step mother, you don't see her as an equal member of your family, you don't want a card from her, you don't love, or even like her, you resent holding off days out for a few days so she can join you and write inane fb statuses backing up your view that she isn't part of your family and you get pissed off when you are called on the fact you think she is a second class citizen despite the fact that her dad was her family long before he met you.

How would you feel if it was your children being treated like that if you and your dp ever split up?

SoWhatIfImWorkingClass Fri 05-Apr-13 19:25:40

No exotic, she didn't.

Freddiemisagreatshag Fri 05-Apr-13 19:32:40

Is this a reverse?

allnewtaketwo Fri 05-Apr-13 19:33:19

Wow the claws are out in force tonight.

OP what age is your DSD?

SoWhatIfImWorkingClass Fri 05-Apr-13 19:36:57


allnewtaketwo Fri 05-Apr-13 19:40:33

So everyone can stop worrying about her reading the OPs posts on Fb then hmm

MrsDoomsPatterson Fri 05-Apr-13 19:43:12

I just don't get statuses like this. Why even post in the first place, y'know every single one of your friends thinks the same of their families, right?

Bloody Facebook, it really does bring out the worst in people

Branleuse Fri 05-Apr-13 19:44:30


TantrumsAndBalloons Fri 05-Apr-13 19:45:22

It's not about her reading the posts.
It's about a person who clearly wants the world to know she thinks very little of her DHs child. That she isn't her stepmum, she doesn't love her.
And letting the rest of the family hear that loud and clear.

Your DH is an idiot to be with a woman who is so disdainful and disrespectful to his own child.
But he will come to realise this as his dd gets older and realises exactly what you think of her.
Once she gets old enough, and she is made aware of your feelings, do you think she will want to spend time at your house?

pictish Fri 05-Apr-13 19:46:48

Hmmm....I don't think the fb status is particularly anything to get one's knickers in a knot over...but your posts here make your lack of compassion towards your husband's daughter (I won't say stepdaughter as clearly you don't think of her that way) perfectly clear.

allnewtaketwo Fri 05-Apr-13 19:47:16

What a lot of projection

pictish Fri 05-Apr-13 19:47:42

Oh and OP...what your inlaws do has no bearing on how you regard your husband's daughter whatsoever. No excuse!

pictish Fri 05-Apr-13 19:58:52

And far from being a fb nazi, as I don't get all the moaning about other people's statuses, I still have never quite understood the "I love my kids" ones becuse of course you do. We all do. It's not news.

allnewtaketwo Fri 05-Apr-13 20:03:24

Much (most) of what regular fb posters say on fb is not "news" though, but inane and or everyday thoughts written down for their (so called) friends to see. This doesn't strike me as much different really

MrsDoomsPatterson Fri 05-Apr-13 20:04:44

Yes. I love my family.

No shit, Sherlock.

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