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At my wits end with things like this!!

(134 Posts)
SoWhatIfImWorkingClass Fri 05-Apr-13 16:36:22

I've just posted a Facebook status that reads:

"Daniel and my two beautiful boys mean the whole world to me."

That's my partner and our two sons. I love them to the end of the universe and back.

Then I get a comment off BIL saying, "And X as your step daughter."

I am furious with him. Sick and tired of him saying stuff like this. I swiftly corrected him and told him that I do not call her that and that I am not her stepmum. I am her dad's girlfriend. Am I so so wrong that I do not love her as much as my partner and my two children? I mean, I don't treat her any differently, but the feelings of love just aren't there. So if I don't want to include her in a bloody Facebook status I won't! So so so petty.

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel Fri 05-Apr-13 16:39:53

Tbh when there is a step family to consider you shouldn't really post things like that. It serves no purpose and will make the step child feel excluded should she ever see it. Your BIL is right imo.

SoWhatIfImWorkingClass Fri 05-Apr-13 16:41:55

Ah well. Agree to disagree then.

Rainbowinthesky Fri 05-Apr-13 16:44:15

Oh dear. It seems a bit of a childish status tbh and pointless unless you wanted to pointedly exclude the girl. Shudder at Facebook.

flurp Fri 05-Apr-13 16:46:24

Is BiL your DHs brother? If so he's got a point.
You are not wrong to not love your DSD as much as your own but publicly declaring it like that is likely to piss his family off a bit.
But then I hate statuses like that on facebook - we all love our kids, it doesn't need to be validated by a bloody facebook status!!

SoWhatIfImWorkingClass Fri 05-Apr-13 16:48:16

Shame they don't treat our 2 year old the same then so if they have a go at me they can bloody go and sort their own double standards out.

flurp Fri 05-Apr-13 16:48:43

Then again if your status had read " Daniel and my two beautiful boys and X mean the whole world to me" his ex wife could have accused you of overstepping.
Can't win!!

SoWhatIfImWorkingClass Fri 05-Apr-13 16:49:48

Well there is that as well Flurp!

FannyFifer Fri 05-Apr-13 16:51:14

Grow the hell up.

GreatUncleEddie Fri 05-Apr-13 16:51:31

I don't understand why people post crap like that on Facebook anyway. Everyone lives their kids. Even Mairead Philpott loves her kids.

UniqueAndAmazing Fri 05-Apr-13 16:51:41

I'm afraid I'm on your BIL's side in this.

when there are children of your partner in the relationship, then you must be seen to view them as equals.

SoWhatIfImWorkingClass Fri 05-Apr-13 16:52:27

It isn't just Facebook. It's a whole number of things. Like when she is at her mum's and we go out for the day and get accused of leaving her out. But then she is out with her mum doing stuff! Why should my children have to wait in all week until their sister comes?? I don't get it!

UniqueAndAmazing Fri 05-Apr-13 16:53:15

you could have just put "Daniel and the kids mean the whole world to me" then it looks like you're including everyone

UniqueAndAmazing Fri 05-Apr-13 16:53:32

sorry x-posts.

allnewtaketwo Fri 05-Apr-13 17:03:48

If your Facebook is just among friends and prophet close to you then of course you can write what the hell you want. Why the hell has your BIL got access to your Facebook if he pisses you off so much confused. I don't get it

allnewtaketwo Fri 05-Apr-13 17:06:39

People not prophet!

SoWhatIfImWorkingClass Fri 05-Apr-13 17:07:50

allnew, he's blocked now I've had enough of him.

flurp Fri 05-Apr-13 18:43:42

Why should my children have to wait in all week until their sister comes?? I don't get it!
Why can't you just wait and take them all out together? Especially if it is somewhere DSD will enjoy?

WakeyCakey Fri 05-Apr-13 18:46:35

I really don't mean offence by this but what a cruel status to put!
If you don't love her then fine but don't publicise it for the world to see. I hope she isn't on Facebook herself!
My DSD would be devastated if I put something like that up.

It seems so unfair for your DSD to have to visit every week to someone who clearly doesn't like her, poor girl!

AThingInYourLife Fri 05-Apr-13 18:49:17


Wind up

SoWhatIfImWorkingClass Fri 05-Apr-13 18:50:50

Not very fair that my children have to wait whilst she's doin fun things with her mum though is it? She does plenty of things with us, but sometimes she just happens to be at her mum's when we do decide to go out to the zoo, the park, or the the play centre. Doesn't mean we're excluding her, it just means that we still do fun things whilst she isn't here.

Now my in laws exclude my 2 year old son on purpose. I've done a thread about this before. We don't exclude my DP's daughter on purpose, but they seem to enjoy watching her little brother miss out on everything. My DP has stopped his daughter from going to his parents without his son going as well.

NigellaTufnel Fri 05-Apr-13 18:53:44

YABU cruel and childish. Please take the status down.

TantrumsAndBalloons Fri 05-Apr-13 18:56:08

What do Facebook statuses like that actually achieve?

Why do you need to tell the world how much you love your children and partner? Why don't you just tell them?

I don't get it, it's like you are trying to convince the world what an amazing relationship you have. Why? Just go and be happy.

I always think that there's something a bit odd about posting stuff like that.

Freddiemisagreatshag Fri 05-Apr-13 18:56:49

That's a nasty thang to post.

SoWhatIfImWorkingClass Fri 05-Apr-13 19:07:41

I was also called tight because I said point blank that I did not want a mothers day card off her. I didn't get one off her and DP knew I would not have been happy if I received one. If that is excluding his daughter then I absolutely despair.

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