I've asked questions on this subject before, I know. But I guess I am just looking for opinions/advice on the following...
Right, DP and I live in a two bed house rented through the council, and we have 3 children: DS1 (2), DS2 (newborn) and DSD (7). It's a biggish house to say its a 2 bed and I love it. DS1 and DSD share a bedroom at present and obviously as DS2 is a newborn he is in our room with us.
I have been doing a lot of thinking about the bedroom situation, and I am thinking of asking DP if we should give our room to DSD for when she stays with us. She stays 3/4 nights a week.
I have thought about this for the following reasons:
1) DS2 will be moving in to the kids' room in about a years time so the room will be crowded.
2) DSD will be nearly 9 years old so I am conscious that she will start wanting her own space and not want to share a bedroom with two little boys under 5.
3) I really really really want to decorate the room as a boy's bedroom and I feel so sorry for DS1 that he doesn't have his "own room". It's a bit different if he's sharing with his brother as they are the same gender and there's not a huge age gap.
Our room will be very easy to change and make in to a girl's room but not all princesses and things like that, as even now she isn't in to all that. Also as there are some days in the week she isn't here, we will keep our bed in that room, and we will sleep in there on the nights she is at her mum's, just obviously putting her own bed sheets on on the nights she's with us. And we have a sofa bed in the living room now, which would do perfectly when she is in our room (which by then we will be calling it her room!)
This is obviously until we can afford a 3 bed house either through private rented or getting a mortgage. I am in a job that could in a few years give us that opportunity so it's not completely off the cards. But for now this is the solution I think might work.
Personally I wouldn't fancy moving in and out of my bedroom every 3/4 days. Your clothes, etc will all end up in there and not accessible when you want them, you'd need to keep changing bedding, etc.
My ex and DW manage in even tinier flat with our two DCs (9 and 13) and his 1 year old. They tried swapping round when DCs were there but found it difficult.
One thing you could consider would be making a permanent bedroom for yourselves downstairs, and letting DSD have her own room upstairs, but putting a couch in her room and using it as a living room when she's not there. Or you could leave her in with the boys, but keep the boys clothes, etc in your room for a few more years (as you'll be dressing them anyway). If you give DSD a high sleeper then that can give her a bit more privacy and gives space for a desk under it and still more floor space left under it. My DD is 9 and still fine about sharing a room. They can always change in the bathroom if they feel a need for modesty.
I wouldn't tbh as you would have to keep all your stuff in her room and as she grows up she may become resentful of you using 'her' room when she's not there.
Could you have the smaller room and section the bigger room off for the children? Eg by curtains or shelving units.
Do you have a dining room that could be turned into your/ your dss's bedroom?
No I wouldn't do it, you would be making life very difficult for yourself in the future.
It is a lovely idea to try and give them all there own space and that you are willing to give up your room but DSD may not see it like that.
I would have been totally creeped out at having to share my room with my parents and would never have felt it was my own space etc.
Do you have another reception room or dining room that could become a snig/bedroom for DSD?
OP, don't give up your bedroom, you're both not just parents, you're a couple too. And you personally will also need a place to call your own, somewhere to withdraw to to regain peace of mind, even if only in passing. Do not underestimate this.
Dsd can still share, swapping rooms sounds good if kids can each get a corner of the bigger room. Fill with bunk beds and high beds by all means in future. Or as suggested already, cordon off part of the living room for sleeping niche as a last resort.
Our house is practically an Ikea showroom at this stage, they have loads of furniture possibilities for growing kids with privacy needs.
Thankyou for your replies!
There has been some really good ideas. I like your idea Purpleroses about the sofa bed, I actually think DSD would like that! Unfortunately we don't have any other rooms downstairs, just the living room.
Chocsaway Ikea is brilliant for children's bedrooms when they are sharing I agree with you there! I have been looking through the catalogue and I like the ideas in there. Parting the room off half and half could work.
sigh still undecided yet! I do wish we could afford a 3 bed house right now as we wouldn't have this problem!
SoWhat... I see you are renting through the council, have you called them to ask when you will be eligible to apply for a larger 3 bed house?
In our local area, if it were just your DS1 and DSD then I think you'd have to wait until your DSD is 9 before they consider them both to need your own rooms, but this varies across councils. However, with your DS2 now here, I think once he turns 1 you may well be eligible to apply for a larger house anyway.
brokenniscuits yeah that is a possibility although when I spoke to them they said with the welfare reform act happening we will be seen as a lower priority, but still worth applying anyway. DSD's mum said that she will write a letter as well saying that DSD is with us 3/4 nights a week too which was the lady's idea at the council.
Brokenbiscuits not Brokenniscuits lol
Maybe each council is different, but ours told us we would never be eligible for another room as even though DSS is here 55% of the time, his mother claims the CB(etc) so on paper and "technically" he doesn't "count" here. She can go for a 3 bed when he turns 7, but we can't. Atm, nearly 3 year old DD shares with me, DP floats between DSS bed when we isn't here, and the sofa, and DSS obv has his room to himself when here. Something to think about if your DP isn't in receipt of CB for DSC?
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