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Moving me and my kids

(12 Posts)
Redorwhitejusthaveboth Sun 24-Feb-13 22:55:47

Struggling with this one - a bit hypothetical at the moment but still needs considering. My bf lives 100 miles away... He has gorgeous house...good job... Good friends... But his parents live near me... I have good job... House... Lots of brilliant friends family and support here plus the kids dads (pretty useless) are nearby..and then there is the school issue..
Any positive or negative stories about moving a family when creating a new one?

belleshell Mon 25-Feb-13 14:38:44

I moved 100 miles to be nearer home and my DP was there....nothing but positivity here...although i did do it other way around beofre kids...i moved the 100 miles to be with my ex...i was there 15 years and was home sick every single day..having the kids helped, but i desperatley wanted to be with my own family and friends....where are your family??

MN044 Mon 25-Feb-13 14:40:47

I really would stay where you are. Why can't your bf move? I've just moved myself and the children 300 miles away from all we knew so we'd be closer to my family. I hate it and regret my decision every day.

Redorwhitejusthaveboth Mon 25-Feb-13 17:01:22

Thank you x
He will move - I suppose I just wanted to explore all the options. My family are all here and so are his- but all his friends his work his home his life is there - and I'm a bit concerned that he might regret leaving that behind.. He reassures me he ewon't

Snorbs Mon 25-Feb-13 17:04:46

How much contact do your DCs have with their father?

HeySoulSister Mon 25-Feb-13 17:10:11

The dads might be 'pretty useless' but your dc have a right to a relationship with him

Would you drive them back regularly for contact?

Redorwhitejusthaveboth Mon 25-Feb-13 21:27:31

They see their dads every week - and have good friendly times with their dads. The dads have chosen to not be involved in school... appts...and I've moved heaven and earth to ensure the boys see their dads. I have assumed I would have to drive them back every other weekend

OliviaKnowsBestMumsnet (MNHQ) Tue 26-Feb-13 00:05:55

This is now in step parenting not lone parents as requested

Stepmooster Tue 26-Feb-13 04:06:38

I don't have any stories for you, but I would ask you to think of your children. Their fathers and extended family are nearby, as are their schools and friends. If you move they will be miserable and may hate your boyfriend, your home life won't be all rosy then. Step families very rarely start off like the brady bunch. My DSS lives 50 miles, DH has to do 200 miles worth of driving on contact weekends and its not as easy as it may sound. Personally if your boyfriend isn't prepared to move near you, and let's not forget he has family nearby and he wouldn't be alone then he may turn out to be another one of those useless father's you have in your life. You don't need to be the one moving and any reasonable person would see that. The only complication I could see is if your boyfriend has children of his own near to him?

Redorwhitejusthaveboth Tue 26-Feb-13 14:41:50

No he doesn't have kids which does make it easier.
Thanks for all of your advice / opinions... Tempted as I am to run a million miles away with the kids do I can pretend their dads don't exist - I won't grin

theredhen Tue 26-Feb-13 14:53:24

Keep things as consistent as you can for the kids sake.

Stepmooster Tue 26-Feb-13 20:09:50

Hi Op I know what you mean sometimes running away from it all and starting again can seem so appealing but I think whatever problems you face now with the useless dads etc will not disappear just get worse. You might feel better to start with but the shine will soon wear off. Hope your boyfriend is as equally prepared to move for love as you were. i

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