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I'm so cross and upset

(70 Posts)
arggggggh Sun 24-Feb-13 16:00:13

DSD is never allowed to come on holiday with us. Her mum always makes an excuse up... I've no idea why, all I can think of is that it's down to jealousy.

We're planning on going to Disney in December which means she would have to have three days off school. Her mum put in a holiday form for it last week and it's come back as a no.

We don't know what to do... We're taking DD out of school for 2 days for the holiday but her school doesn't have holiday forms etc and we're going to (I know this is wrong..) say she's been poorly. We can't afford to go in holiday time at all, it's just so expensive.

We don't see why DSD mum cant just ring her in sick for a few days... honestly, it's going to be near Christmas and they don't do any serious work at school then..
don't want her missing out AGAIN, no matter what we do she's never allowed to come (this is the first time we would be going in school time btw)

Are We being hideously unreasonable for asking her to have 3 days off school? I'm so doubled up in anger/upset I think my judgement is off.

NotADragonOfSoup Sun 24-Feb-13 16:01:34

We don't see why DSD mum cant just ring her in sick for a few days.

Because it is lying. And you will be expecting your DSD to lie too.

usualsuspect Sun 24-Feb-13 16:03:00

Would you be willing to pay the unauthorised absence fine?

wannabedomesticgoddess Sun 24-Feb-13 16:03:15

So the school say no but its still her mums fault.


bunchamunchycrunchycarrots Sun 24-Feb-13 16:03:44

Your DSD's mum put in the holiday request, is that right? And it's been refused by the school? How is she then preventing the holiday if she's done what you asked, and it's the school that said no? Sorry, not too clear on why the mum is now preventing the holiday due to 'jealousy'.

TheOriginalSteamingNit Sun 24-Feb-13 16:03:53

I do hope you're not for real.

arggggggh Sun 24-Feb-13 16:05:16

Ok, I'm being unreasonable about going in school time

Do holiday forms even exist anymore?

JaquelineHyde Sun 24-Feb-13 16:05:51

So you want your DSD's mum to lie and you want your DSD to lie as well. hmm

Your DSD's Mum has tried to get the days off and so she hasn't stood in your way at all and has actually done everything she can within the rules to allow your DSD to attend the holiday.

Why exactly are you angry...No, no sorry 'doubled up in anger' what a ridiciulous over reaction!!

Why doesn't your husband contact his daughters school and try to negotiate to get the days off? Or is he far too busy being agry at the wrong person as well?

UC Sun 24-Feb-13 16:06:04

Where I live, holidays are unauthorised absence from school. However, nothing happens unless you miss more than 10 days. I have taken my kids out of school, on unauthorised absence, for a week before.

Why does DSD's mum have to ring in sick? Why does she have to lie for you? Just take 3 unauthorised days off school.

freddiemisagreatshag Sun 24-Feb-13 16:07:01

The mum isn't preventing it, if she was she'd have told you no.

The school said no.

And taking children out in term time isn't allowed.

Stop being angry with the mother, you're actually angry with the wrong person

And you shouldn't be taking a child out in term time.

usualsuspect Sun 24-Feb-13 16:07:13

Of course holiday forms exist.

allnewtaketwo Sun 24-Feb-13 16:07:15

I personally wouldn't take my child out if school just do a holiday is cheaper. And from the mothers perspective, why should she help you reduce the cost of the holiday whilst having to lie to the school

arggggggh Sun 24-Feb-13 16:07:15

Sorry no she's not preventing this holiday, I've explained badly, my apologise.

She has prevented 4 other holidays though.

We are now going to try and shift this holiday to another time in the holidays.

UC Sun 24-Feb-13 16:07:21

Yes, holiday forms exist, but you always get unauthorised absence, unless it's something like a family wedding abroad.

I'm not clear either on why this is your DSD's mum's fault. If she agreed to put in the holiday form, then maybe she won't object to you taking 3 days' unauthorised absence.

WeAreEternal Sun 24-Feb-13 16:07:53

If she had already had a holiday form request rejected they will be in 'alert' for the sickness call.

There is no way you will be able to get away with it. Someone I know did just that and was sent a fine straight away as it was obvious what she was doing.
The thing that makes even more unreasonable in your situation is that it will be DSD's mother who will be fined and have that mark against her with the school.

You are not being unreasonable to want her to go on holiday with you though.
You could maybe ring the school yourself or have your DP call and ask again.

usualsuspect Sun 24-Feb-13 16:09:15

My DD got fined for unauthorized absence when she asked permission, was refused but took her DS on holiday anyway.

It does happen.

arggggggh Sun 24-Feb-13 16:09:26

Holiday forms don't exist at all where I live, It's the same as UC It just goes down as an unauthorized absence. Last year DD had a day off that her head teacher said was fine but even that still went down as unauthorized. Just how it works here? I don't understand how it works elsewhere?

HecateWhoopass Sun 24-Feb-13 16:09:30

I am glad you appear to have changed the way you are presenting this.

She asked.

The school refused.

The school is not stupid. If the child is suddenly taken ill on the exact same days that were originally requested - they will work it out!

And will it be you paying any fines or anything?

arggggggh Sun 24-Feb-13 16:11:56

I personally wouldn't take my child out if school just do a holiday is cheaper. And from the mothers perspective, why should she help you reduce the cost of the holiday whilst having to lie to the school

Because why would she want her DD to lose out? I don't understand, DSD always wants to come with us and her mum never allows it. It breaks my heart to leave her behind.

JaquelineHyde Sun 24-Feb-13 16:12:12

So what you are actually trying to get at here by harping on about the holiday forms all the time, but you are clearly to cowardly to say, is that you don't believe that your DSD's Mum even bothered asking.

So you think she is lying to you to block the holiday?

Well with an attitude like that I would be objecting to my daughter spending time away with you as well.

arggggggh Sun 24-Feb-13 16:14:40

I am glad you appear to have changed the way you are presenting this

Yes I felt muchos dickus within 0.5 seconds of posting, should have calmed down first blush

Of course we would pay fines etc.. I just don't understand why they have refused... what is the point of a holiday form if they do not grant holiday... It's only 3 days and we have asked 10 months in advance.

usualsuspect Sun 24-Feb-13 16:16:34

Do you think her mum is lying then?

freddiemisagreatshag Sun 24-Feb-13 16:16:47

No way on this earth would I lie to please my ex and his new partner. I'd be the one in trouble at the school at the fines to pay.

Have the other holidays she's ruined with her jealousy been in term time too?

arggggggh Sun 24-Feb-13 16:16:59

Err No Jaqueline, I do believe that the form was filled in and sent in and came back as a no. Never said that I didn't believe that had happened.

usualsuspect Sun 24-Feb-13 16:18:39

Then it's not her mums fault is it?

The school said no, she doesn't want to risk a fine so not much you can do, except change the date of the holiday.

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