Parental Repsonsibility

[starbright86]

Hi,

I am looking to give my husband pr over my eldest daughter. Does anyone know if i need a solicitor to do this or if i can do it myself and the costs involved?

I have sole pr for my daughter, she was born in 2004 so although her biological father is on her birth certificate the law didn't come into Scotland until 2006 where unmarried fathers get pr if on the birth certificate.

Thanks in advance

[madwomanacrosstheroad]

As far as i know there are two ways. Either you go for a joint residence order or you have to get married and make a declaration in front of the court that as your spouse your dp wants to have parental responsibility. If your childs biological father is on the birth certificate i expect his view will have to be heard.
There is also of course thr adoption route but even stepparent adoption will involve a full assessment by social services.
Do get legal advice as the situation may differ slightly in different jurisdictions.
I had the exact same problem several years ago regarding my son, only at the time they were not granting residence orders just to give parental responsibility. So we ended up marrying. I thonk however that has changed since. Whatever you do, you will need a solocitor.

[madwomanacrosstheroad]

Thrre is a website called stepparentfamilyscotland.org.uk which has the answers. Application to coutt is usually the cheapest. We did not even have to attend

[cherryonthetop2013]

I never really understand why people want to give parental responsibility to step parents.
I am a step parent and also a parent who has a child with a step parent, one who plays the part of a parent and I have never found it necessary. I just don't see why anybody finds it necessary? The only time I could see a need for it would be for doctor/dentists appointments but that can easily be solved by note from the mum.

[Stepmooster]

Hi Starbright, why do you want your DH to have PR? Does your DC ever see their dad? Does your DC know who their dad is? I have a DH who spent 4 yrs trying to get contact and have a meaningful relationship with his DS. My DH would sooner die than let another man be his boys dad. I can tell you that blood bond never goes away. Your ex may not have PR over your DC due to the law, but shouldn't he have a say in the matter? Pls explain your reasons as my DH ex has tried and failed to erase him from his sons life and I don't understand the logic of why some women re-marry and try to make the new husband the father when a child already has one. of course I do understand that it is needed in special cases but your DC is 9 and you have managed ok so far?

[starbright86]

Stepmooster - No she has nothing to do with her real dad, we split when she was 2 and he hasnt seen or spoken to her since she was 2.5 years old. Dh has been in her life since she was 3.5 and is very much her dad. I do still have contact with her bio dad so he is informed of anything that happens. He is happy for my dh to have pr and to also adopt her and said he will sign any forms etc he may have to. We looked into adoption but it looked very complicated and thought pr would be the best route to go.

[madwomanacrosstheroad]

Parental responsibility can be share by more than two people. It is not the same as adoption which severs the relationship with parents not adopting. It simplu means the persons who have it can act for the child, sign permission slips for school trips, consent to medical treatment etc.
A note from the mother is not always enough. In our case my oldest son had been on the waiting list for minor surgery with general anasthetic for ages. On the day of the treatment i had to work. My partner took him with a note ID etc but was sent home as he dod not have pr.
Pr simply makes practocal day to day easier for those involved in the childs life. Another reason for us was in case something was to happen to me my sons father was not involved i wanted to make sure my son would stay with a person he had lived with since early childhood and more omportantly his siblings.

[Stepmooster]

Hi Starbright, how sad for your girl that her dad has no interest. I can understand why you would want your DH to adopt her or have PR. I think its a good idea, it must be horrible not feeling wanted by your dad. Sorry for being a bit defensive, I've just seen the flip side of it. Best wishes xx