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Bedrooms at Dad's.

(8 Posts)
Curios1ty Thu 27-Dec-12 18:41:33

Should SD's Mum be able to dictate where children sleep in our home?

Can she insist that her (and H's) DD is given her own room and our 2 children must share even though we want to let the 2 children living in our house have a room each and let DD share a room with her half-brother as they are the youngest?

SD has not expressed a desire to have a room on her own. She loves her half brother and enjoys sleeping over.

Mum is insisting that SD must have her own room at our house if overnights are to continue.

All children are under 7 so no concerns about puberty and "needing privacy".

Has anyone had any experience of this in court? Any experiences of a Judge's reaction?

(ps. She wants photographic evidence that SD has her own bedroom)
(pps. This will hopefully be a short lived dilemma anyway as we are hoping to move to a 4 bed house in the next year or 2).

VBisme Thu 27-Dec-12 18:47:29

Tell her you'll see her in court, self represent and let the magistrate tell her the law.
She's being deliberately difficult. How many chioldren / bedrooms does she have? What would she do if she met a man with children himself? I expect that would be a different situation.

Curios1ty Thu 27-Dec-12 18:53:06

She only has the one child but has on numerous occasions lived with her parents over the past few years which has resulted in SD sharing her bed for long periods of time which struck me as being incredibly hypocritical.

I was surprised when DH's solicitor basically said "give her what she wants". When overnights first began she insisted on viewing the bedroom first. I reluctantly agreed as the Judge asked DH whether I would mind. But now I feel like we are being treated unfairly and I would like some privacy in my own home.

SD's Mum is incredibly secretive about her living arrangements and it took a solicitor reminding her of what PR entails to get her to start informing DH of SD moving house. (There has never been any DV concerns etc. No reason he shouldn't know about the move, especially when he is expected to collect and drop off at the house to suit Mum)

VBisme Thu 27-Dec-12 19:02:09

Your DH needs to get a new solicitor. There is no reason that SD should have a separate bedroom, particularly as that isn't an arrangement that she has stuck to herself.

Please, as a stepmum, never assume that your DH solicitor is acting in the best interest of you both. They act for their client, who is DH. It may well be best for DH to give in on this issue, but is it in the best interest of ALL the children?

Bonkerz Thu 27-Dec-12 19:15:19

Aslong as she has a bed that is just hers that should be sufficient. My DSD shares a room with DD and the have bunk beds. Dsd has too bunk where she keeps all stuff she doesn't want anyone to touch. It's her space.

purpleroses Thu 27-Dec-12 19:42:40

No. Plenty children share bedrooms and it's up to you to decide who shares. My DS and DSS share when they're both here. They both say they like sharing smile

PoppyPrincess Sat 29-Dec-12 02:06:20

No when DSD is with you it is up to you where she sleeps.
We have 3 kids sharing a bedroom when DSC sleep here but they love it, they think its great fun.
She really is being difficult for the sake of being difficult, she wants your DH to prove that their dd is more important to him than the other 2 DC. We have a similar problem, different circumstances but still a difficult demanding ex.
Take her to court. Or change solicitor and find one who will send out a letter telling her that your DH provides somewhere safe and comfortable for his dd to do and that is what he is doing.

Waitingforastartofall Sat 29-Dec-12 10:26:14

dsd has her own room, dss and Ds share. they are both boys under 8 and sd needs her privacy at the age she is. I would stick to what you are doing and see her in court. we do what works for us and all three children but no way would I be dictated too about what I do in my own home if we chose to do differently. good luck

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