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Step parent boundaries....first ever mums net post....please be kind!

(26 Posts)
Smo2 Thu 27-Dec-12 09:18:48

Hi everyone,

I'm looking for some advice from step mums as to where boundaries should be.

I'm a parent to two kids, whose dad left me almost two years ago after having an affair for 5 years with this woman.

It's all been incredibly hard, but I'm really struggling because she and I don't get on ( unsurprisingly as she was cited in my divorce) and she insists on attending every concert, or medical appointment that my ex is invited to. My daughter is disabled, so there are regular appointments.

Last straw was her coming to a meeting between me and my ex to discuss contact...and speaking over everyone, telling me that she was a step parent to my children, and she had an emotional responsibility for them, and all sorts.

I actually feel things have gone so far it's crazy, I've suggested mediation to my ex, as I just want to discuss issues with the kids with him, without her there. He won't do it. So every month is an argument over contact, which needs to be flexible because of his job. I've suggested we meet once a month for 30 mins or so to plan out contact and discuss medical issues etc...but she absolutely isn't allowing this, unless she is there.

I don't want my ex back, in fact I've met a lovely bloke, and all is cool. But I just need her to back off a bit, as I need the space.

I could write for hours,as things are very bad, but what I'm looking for is advice, or if anyone thinks I'm being unreasonable,

Please be gentle!


Smo2 Fri 28-Dec-12 09:01:33

Thanks all, I appreciate your advice, xalla, I think I'm going to take your advice and try and follow that through. He has been offered mediation by solicitors letter....mainly as he has decided I'm not allowed to email him or text him now...I can promise you that I've not been sending Him hoards of emails...this is just the lastest thing, he wants to cut me out as far as possible...he even arranges contact via our 9 year old and gets her to tell me, rather than contacting me himself.

I've just red nativity thread on here. The were only 3 tickets available for my sons, meaning my sister couldn't go. Dsm called nursery and got herself another one. I was very upset about that. I just need some boundaries really.

Thanks everyone xx

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