Can anyone give me any advice. Feel like in going crazy.(26 Posts)
So the situation is dp and I have always had a rocky on/off relationship. He has dd8. Together we have 3dc 6, 2 & 1.
I'm having trouble with a lot of things.. I'm in a situation where my parents have a lot of money and tend to spoil my 3. For example last week the 6 year old got £600 to spend on an iPad, bike and other things. Dp and I do not have money ourselves. Our finances are seperate and I take care of all the kids needs. They are never without the essentials, food/clothes ect but dp spends a high proportion of his money on alcohol and cigs. He will give me money here and there.
Anyway anything our dd gets from my parents he says his dd needs as well. So despite him not having any money he is going to find £300 for an iPad. He also didn't have any money for Xmas presents this year so I said to use my credit card to buy his daughter something in the sales. He wants to take my credit card and go out but he is so un trustworthy when it comes to money I was just asking joe much are you going to spend and what are you getting her. In a way saying. £300 is not going on my credit card for an iPad for an 8 year old. He got stroppy and said forget it coz I'm clearly not happy about it.
Now I am a nice person, when we see his daughter I treat her like one of my own. We don't see her often so I feel bad by saying these things. But I don't have the money to get her the same things as my dd. because my parents buy her them things.
Any advice? And I know I sound horrible but it is really getting to me that I feel our 3 is just my responsibility but he will let me struggle but find money to buy her something expensive. Even writing it down sounds like I'm being such a bitch. I just don't really know what to do. If you need more information please just ask! Please help!
I wouldn't say they are worried, as trust me I am more than capable of bringing up my children! I am a teacher, also studying for a degree and I think I hold my own.
But there is some truth in what you say as in all my family live in big massive houses, we all live in a 2 bed flat. All my family are married with kids, I was the first to get pregnant unwed and also a teenager. It was very devastating for the family! So as I wouldn't say they are worried, but it's not how I was brought up and obviously I can't give my dc everything they want like what I had, so they are trying to?!
Well thanks once again for all the advice, yes definitely we can't really move on until we all act like a proper family unit. Which we are working towards. Hope it's a happy ending!
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.