MIL treats new baby like a threat!(5 Posts)
Thanks NaDM I will have to get that, Sounds good!
No, you're not overreacting!
At risk of sounding like her agent - I highly recommend
again the book called Stepmonster by Wednesday Martin, which explains why in-laws consider their GC's stepmum, and half-siblings, a threat
Thanks Poppy Thats given me hope that things can get better. I suppose I was upset because I thought she was suggesting that I was the WSM! I think I will have a talk with her and tell her how it makes us feel. But yep I do understand that we will need her onside in the future. Just want to be a big happy family
Pregnancy and having a baby can be very stressful especially where other children are involved. My mum was similar when I had my baby, she is very close with my DS and for the first few weeks of baby arriving if I so much as looked at her or picked her up to feed her my mum would accuse me of ignoring my DS.
It was very difficult but we all settled in to things and now my mum sees that DS does still get attention but he sometimes has to wait his turn so she's stopped whingeing so much.
Maybe she does need to hear it from you that you love DSD and that you're committed to making sure that she doesn't feel pushed out but that it'll involve a joint effort from everybody to be positive about this baby's arrival, DSD will only pick up on her negativity and that could make her question whether her baby sister is so wonderful after all.
I will warn you that when baby is first born and you are recovering and baby is keeping you up all night that you may feel like it's too much to have DSD staying over. For the first couple of weeks our DSC would spend the days here but then stay at their grandma's, the thought of us having a crying baby in the night and 3 kids awake was just unbearable but we were really fortunate that DP's mum was very understanding and even suggested the arrangement herself before baby was born.
You really need to get her on your side as she could be a life saver at times.
I'm currently 6 months pregnant with my first and DH and I are very excited. I have a dsd who is 10years old. She is very much included and loved and is an absolute darling (ok maybe a little spoilt but is cute enough to get away with it lol) The problem is my MIL and she is really starting to make me see red! She always purses her lips when we talk about future dd and talks about dsd constantly as if she thinks we have forgotton her. Ever since the spilt she has treated dsd more like a daughter than a grandchild, controlling arrangements etc. She gets drunk and says to DH that he will end up leaving dsd out, and that dsd will be too upset that he will have another daughter living with him! It just seems that DH is not allowed to get excited about his upcoming baby!Then he comes and tells me which makes my blood boil but he doesnt want me to say anything to her as she is 'protective'.
Now I come from a blended family myself and we are all one big happy family. Dsd herself loves the idea of a little sister (to be honest she was more worried about whether her amount of presents would go down lol) It upsets me that MIL is making out the arrival of our daughter is a threat and an inconvenience to dsd, rather than seeing her as the joyful addition to the family that she is! It's gotten to the point now that the next time she says something I will be going round to tell her how out of order she is being despite DH's wishes! Am I over-reacting?
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