Introducing new partner to DCs

[Llareggub]

I am a single parent to 2 children aged 6 and 3. They live with me permanently and stay with their father every other weekend.

I am in a relationship which is becoming serious. He has met my DCs a few times but soon we will be living in the same time so we will be seeing a lot more of each other.

I have never been in this position before and whilst it is too early to talk about the concept of step-parenting I am mindful that he will be a male role model in their lives at te very least. I am looking for ideas to make this as easy for the DCs as possible - so would love to hear suggestions on how to make this work and what I should think of.

[Llareggub]

Doh - just noticed a typo. We will be living in the same town, not time. We are not the Time Travellers Wife.

[Llareggub]

Anyone got any thoughts on this?

[elliebellys]

Just take it slowly dont rush the kids into a relationship with your dp,let them do it at their own pace.

[Kaluki]

I agree slowly. Let it happen gradually and make sure you still have plenty of time with just you and them.
I introduced DP as my friend to start with. Then after a while DS2 told us we should be boyfriend and girlfriend so we let him think he gave us permission!!

[Llareggub]

Thanks, I will take it slowly. My DCs are young so I do describe him as my friend. I don't think they'd understand any other term!

[purpleroses]

When mine were that age they didn't have any notion of what a boyfriend was anyway. They won't really have a lot of expectations, so will take things as they come largely. Just start doing things together a bit more and see how everyone finds it. My kids both took very easily to DP - though my youngest ocassionally resented him if she perceived that he was getting my attention instead of her. I often had him round in the evening, and he would talk to the kids for a bit, then entertain himself for a while (eg watch TV) whilst I got them off to bed, then we could have some time together later. That's an easy way to get to know young kids. Going out for the day all together has more potential to be stressful, but is also good fun.

Are you on reasonable terms with your ex? You might want to let him know roughly what's going on, to save him piecing it together from what the kids tell him

[Lookingatclaus]

Dp was introduced as my friend at first, but they very quickly seemed to realise that he was more than that and were over the moon that I had a boyfriend. They'd been encouraging me to get one just before I'd met him anyway.

It was just a gradual thing. Dsd didn't live with me at the time, so it was really only dd that we were careful around. We just monitored how she was, made sure that I spent time with her on her own and her relationship with dp just grew - but really from the outset they all got on really well. He has a really lovely relationship with both dd and dsd, I suppose just as another adult in their lives rather than a parent.

It was really very easy.