Hello All,
I would be really grateful for some advice on this. I'll try and keep it short but I have been with DH for 5 years and met him when SD was 8 months old so I have been in her life pretty much forever.
We have what I think is a pretty good 'blended family' situation. SD is with us 2 nights a week, including one full weekend day. DH's partner won't come into our house (they did it up together and she really loved it) but is happy for me to come in and have tea at hers and I helped organise SD's birthday party this year with her. We also often have her to help out her Mum if she is working or away etc. We also do the odd thing altogether, like going to the circus etc. DH, Me, DD, SD and SD's Mum and even once with SD's Mum's Mum so I think things are pretty good.
SD is not an easy kid, she is 6 but still has massive tantrums and can be really disruptive and she is used to getting her own way so when she is here she takes over a bit and so honestly, because I work 4 days a week, I want the odd holiday just on our own so I can spend some proper time with my own DD. I know that sounds mean but there it is. DH and I promptly had a massive row and he kept saying that this was her family and we should have her as much as we can no matter what and he said I should love SD and want to be with her as much as my own daughter. I said that she has a Mum and I doesn't need a replacement for her and that I love her and I think we are doing pretty well but he wants more.
Recently SD has been upset at nights and this evening she finally told DH that she wants him to spend time with her and her Mummy doing things with just them. I completely freaked out - surely this is totally the wrong thing to do? He thinks it will make her happier - I think it is going to send completely the wrong signals and make things worse in the long run. It's not as if she remembers them being together so this would be an entirely new thing and I fundementally think it is totally the wrong thing to do. I could entirely understand him maybe picking her up from school an extra day a week and doing something special with her but to do something with her and her Mum is just wrong isn't it? Am I being unreasonable? Perhaps I should have posted it there instead!
Can any of you help?? Also is there a good book on how to do step parenting? It is VERY HARD.
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Step-parenting
Advice on DH spending time with his DD with her Mother at DD Request
43 replies
PoisonedApple · 18/11/2012 22:06
OP posts:
quietlysuggests ·
18/11/2012 22:21
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