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Hello and advice on meeting BF's sons

(3 Posts)
PeachKernel Fri 26-Oct-12 04:27:39

Hello, I'm new to this forum and it's a pleasure to meet you all smile

I am getting close to a man who has two teenage sons, aged 12 and 14. This is the second time a man in my life has two sons, although in both instances I never met the boys.

How does one prepare for the prospect of meeting these teenagers in the next year or so? I've never married, nor had children, so family life is something very new to me. They don't know of my existence, but he has shown me photos of them, talks about them every time we chat, and they seem like lovely, happy, well-adjusted kids. Let me also add, I'm closer to their age than I am to his. smile

Jackstini Fri 26-Oct-12 05:36:45

Be yourself, don't pretend to be anything you are not.
You sound quite sensible so not saying you would, but the worst is to either act mumsy or try too hard to be 'cool'

Ask some questions to show interest but don't be surprised if you don't get much of an answer back and don't pry into personal things.

Make the first meeting very short.

Don't be physical with their Dad.

Keep in mind they will probably be just as worried as you!

purpleroses Fri 26-Oct-12 08:37:35

Let him see how they react to being told about you first, before you plan meeting. My DP's 11 year old son was the hardest of his 4 kids to get to know me and was quite hostile at first. Boys of that age can be hard to get talking. DP's DS is fine now, but it's taken a while and quite a lot of patience on my part. Best to meet them somewhere neutral - eg trip to cinema or bowling or something first time. Treat them just like you would the kids of a friend at first and probably best to dress in something fairly "mature" if you're actually quite young - ie not something that girls their own age would wear.

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