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On another note... feeling a bit sad today

(9 Posts)
MsMadelineashton Tue 23-Oct-12 13:13:28

I was out this morning and got talking to a random woman in a shop because she asked about the baby I had with me (not mine, I was looking after it) she asked if I had any children myself nosey old bat and I said yes and started to say "one of my own, and a step daughter" then stopped myself as I can't really say that I do anymore. Ive seen her once in the last six months, and only a handful of times this whole year. What shes become isnt very nice and in many ways my own life is easier since she's not been coming, but I was proud of my little family and now it is missing someone.

I could handle t better if she was actually happy. But now I learn that she isn't, and her behaviour is getting worse... and I wonder what will become of the little girl who was 8 when I met her all bouncy with braids and buildabears... sad

snowmummy Tue 23-Oct-12 13:19:13

Oh you sound so sad sad. What happened that she doesn't come to see you anymore?

MsMadelineashton Tue 23-Oct-12 13:28:40

Thanks snowmummy, I try to not care and often I am angry at her for how she's treated my DD who is 6 and is really suffering for missing her as she's only ever known things with her step sister around. But I am a big softy at heart and I can't deny that I do care, and I do miss her.

The short story is that after years of ridiculous financial demands being put on my DH (and I really mean ridiculous) he finally told his ex that enough was enough and he wouldn't be handing over cash constantly anymore. His ex told their DD that her dad didn't love her anymore and basically she chose to stay with her Mum and to despise her dad for not giving in to Mum. Silly really.

Mum is a narcisist and uses her DD to get what she wants. I know that makes me sound bitter but I knew her for years (not while they were married!) and it is true. Now she has DSD there, she tells her that she resents it because she never gets any time alone with her partner and new baby - but of course DSD is still too "loyal" (for want of a better word) to Mum to leave. Mumhad a hard life and makes her daughter responsible for her happiness. every time DSD stands up to her or wants to have her own opinion, mum brings up some sob story about her past and how she needs her support etc etc. she's been doing it since she was small.

Anyway, I'm waffling again. I need a hot chocolate. (actually need wine but am looking after baby and it is only 1.30 after all!)

NotaDisneyMum Tue 23-Oct-12 15:50:32

I can't imagine how hard it must be for you; because DSD and I hadn't really bonded when she became estranged I don't miss her in that way - I'm so sorry you're feeling low about it sad

Funnily enough, it's more recently that I've felt that something is missing; DSD is rebuilding her bond with DP but its independent of our family - and I'm now looking forward to the time when she is ready to take that step smile

MsMadelineashton Tue 23-Oct-12 17:52:37

Ah,I'm pleased that you're looking forward to it NADM. That's good. I feel stupid because I know I'm always complaining about her behaviour, and as I say she is not really very nice to be around at the best of times. But I suppose I just feel sad for those days when we were a happy four, starting out all excited about what might me. Her mother really killed it for everyone - DSD included.

snowmummy Tue 23-Oct-12 18:14:57

Her mum sounds awful. You sound lovely though. Have that glass of wine this evening.

brdgrl Tue 23-Oct-12 21:24:39

I'm sorry, msmadeline. It is a shame, things could have turned out differently. I hope they end up there eventually, although I know right now that must seem so remote and maybe not even worthwhile at the moment!

I really feel sad for your DD. sad

HouseElfAtLarge Wed 24-Oct-12 09:03:58

Thanks guys. Feeling a bit better today. I have my lovely DD and I need to focus on that.

HouseElfAtLarge Wed 24-Oct-12 09:04:44

Eeek name change rumble smile

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