Hi ladies, I'd like to pick your collective brains and I know some of you are knowledgeable about this area.
So DH hasn't seem his DD for 8 weeks following alienation which started to show in December last year (I won't bore those of you who know with the backstory but happy to answer questions from others!) He has had no contact with the school in this time but keeps up to date with school news via an app which is helpful. There haven't been any parent's evenings or anything. I thought it was a good idea for him to tell the school what had happened but he was reluctant. There is a lot of shame for him associtated with his dd not wanting to see him. I think so anyway. And it took him a long time to really accept that it had happened so hard for him to actually tell the school. Even now Iover hear him telling people the story of what happened and a lot of it doesn't really ring true for me.
Anyway, yesterday he had a call from one of DSD's teachers (DSD is 13) saying that he was so sorry for contacting DH but didnt have the mother's phone number at home and the matter needed dealing with there and then. He said he understands that DSD isn't living with Dad any more and that they are to contact Mum, but he had no choice as the matter was urgent.
Turns out he was on the train home (fairly late but not too late) from the school and DSD and her friend were being rude and inappropriate and their behaviour had made him feel uncomfortable and worried for her safety. He asked if DH could speak with DSD asap. DH tried DSD but couldn't get through. He tried the teacher but his phone was off so he emailed him asking to speak asap.
I suggested getting the whole story from the teacher before trying DSD again. To be honest, the behaviour doesn't surprise me - although obviously i don't know exactly what it involved. She has said that she feels sad and lonely at the moment as her Mum has mentioned what a strain it is now that she's there all the time and she gets no one-one time with her partner or their new baby (careful what you wish for, hey?) and DSD isn't the best behaved child anyway. I am fearful for what she might be getting in to with no parental supervision. She gets the train home every day after school, usually long after school has finished and she has been in to town with friends. Mum is on maternity leave so I have no idea why this happens, not every day anyway. But this is not in my control so I detach as much as possible.
But I digress... My question is: what rights does DH have? It would seem that the school has been told not to contact him (without his permission!) and of course he wants to be contacted - if it weren't for this teacher not having Mum's number at home, DH would never know about the train incident. He has had meetings with the teacher in question before who seems to be a really good guy so I even wonder if he has deliberately contacted DH over Mum as he is concerned at where her behaviour is heading.
I guess I'm waffling a bit. Sorry. Thnaks all!
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.
Step-parenting
Advice for my partner re his rights with daughter's school
21 replies
MsMadelineashton · 23/10/2012 12:39
OP posts:
NatashaBee ·
23/10/2012 13:22
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.