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Advice for my DD who is dealing with her step sister not visitingher anymore..

(7 Posts)
madelineashton Sun 30-Sep-12 22:48:21

Some of you know my backstory but the important bit to understand is that through my DH and DSD being subjected to parental alienation by his ex/ her mother - we no longer see DSD who is 13.

I have been with her dad for 5 years now so my DD who is 6 doesn't remember a time when DSD wasn't around and has always happily accepted her as part of the family. They called each other sister and DSD was here for 50% of the time up until December when contact dropped to one day a week and since May has been zero.

DD was very upset at first but seemed to be coping well of late. But over the last few weeks her behaviour as deteriorated again. She told me a few days ago that she thinks about her "sister" all the time and feels like she is dead. She said she sometimes thinks about her at school and forgets what she is supposed to be doing then gets told off.

She said she sometimes feels angry at her step dad, even though she doesn't think it's his fault but most of the time is just angry at her "sister". And sometimes she prefers to be at her Dad's as beng here reminds her of how it used to be sad

She is clearly really affected by it all and I don't really know what to do. I think I will take her to the doctor to see if they can refer us to some kind of counselling but not sure if that's right or not... any advice out there?

NotaDisneyMum Sun 30-Sep-12 23:00:46

Yes, definitely see if you can get a youth counselling/play therapy appointment - and both you and her Dad should be involved.

DSS was 6 the first time he went - it is excellent smile

You wouldn't hesitate to consider professional support if she'd suffered a bereavement - this is just the same. I can't emphasis enough how much good I think it can do.

madelineashton Sun 30-Sep-12 23:06:46

Okay, thank you. I've been keeping her Dad preety well informed. It usually ends up with him giving me a long speech on all the fantastic security that he and his fiance give her and how well behaved she is when she's there and how he never has any problem with her behaviour blather blather blather which makes me feel shit but I still tell him what she and I talk about so he knows where she is with it.
Are there good resources for this kind of thing then? I know it will dpened on the area but did youhave to wait long for DSS to see someone?

madelineashton Sun 30-Sep-12 23:08:59

And do I take her to the first appointment at the GP? Or should I go alone? Or maybe call someone?

NotaDisneyMum Mon 01-Oct-12 07:52:21

The services vary from place to place so much - try and find the number of your local Children's Information Service and ask what is available for DCs your DDs age, and how referrals can be made - some are through the GP, others the school, and some will accept self referrals.

madelineashton Mon 01-Oct-12 19:40:06

No time like the present - we went tonight. It was excellent and DD really opened up. Thanks for that NADM, I feel like I'm doing something proactive for her.

NotaDisneyMum Mon 01-Oct-12 20:21:05

Great - pleased it's worked for you, and more importantly, for your DD smile

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