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First Christmas with 17 yo DSS am i being daft?

(33 Posts)
HokeyCokeyPigInAPokey Mon 10-Sep-12 19:39:42

So dh is just back in touch with his sons after nine years.

Absence was not due to dh.

Anyway dss who is just 17 wants to come for Christmas Day which is wonderful.

It will be dh's first Christmas day with him since he was 3.

Dh and i have two dds 9 and 6. They have big christmas sacks with their names on, i always go a bit overboard at Christmas so they have lots of presents, we love Christmas.

If dss had always been with us he would have his own sack and would have been spoilt every year.

As he hasn't though i want to buy him a sack (with his name on) and fill it with presents so he feels like he's treated the same as our dds.

Am i being daft, will he be a bit hmm at a sack, i know if it was a normal situation he would be, i just want him to be one of the family and feel included.

Would it be nice or am i being daft?

exoticfruits Thu 13-Sep-12 07:48:40

It sounds lovely - everyone gets childish at Christmas anyway.

HokeyCokeyPigInAPokey Thu 13-Sep-12 13:15:21

That's horrible up I never want him to feel how you and your sister must have felt.

Sounds like you have a wonderful mum though.

nambypambysm Thu 13-Sep-12 19:56:28

It is unbeleiveable that people would think it was okay to give the resident children loads of presents and then the steps a selection box and voucher sad

IceBergJam Sun 23-Sep-12 17:26:05

I do my stepsons large overflowing stockings full of gifts , they are 18 and 16 and love them. It makes them laugh. They say I spoil them.

Our family go crazy at christmas , not just with gifts and the first Christmas I was there it all seemed a bit small for me, so I brought our traditions in. This year I have my own DD and the Christmas fairies will be leaving themm all new PJs Christmas Eve.

sudaname Sun 23-Sep-12 18:13:37

Ooh this stepparenting lark is a minefield isnt it. To those of you saying it's a lovely idea, l do agree and what a lovely stepmum you sound. But my DH once had a massive falling out with his son over getting one DGCs (DHs son has split from her mum) an extra card and present so that she would have something to open at her mums and her dads house as she woke up at her mums then later went to her dads at Xmas. So he didnt want to a) Not give her a present /card at his sons house for obvious reasons but b) he also didnt want her to wake up at her mums Xmas morning with nothing from him.

Trouble is l suppose is while everyone is running round worrying about not making the SC (s) feel left out it can turn out that SCs can end up getting twice what the DCs who live with both their parents in one household get which in turn can make them feel left out.

For example in Upanddowns case and l fully understand how horrible that must have felt, but in a way, as you say you always got sacks at your mums if you had got another one off your stepmum you would be getting double what your half siblings or step siblings were .


Confuzzled128 Sat 27-Oct-12 22:44:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Confuzzled128 Sat 27-Oct-12 22:45:49

Suda, I'm sorry that was a bit harsh.

Waitingforastartofall Sun 28-Oct-12 13:58:51

we buy the same for both, same amount spent roundabout and roughly the same number dependant on price. My parents buy more for ds, but they do still buy for sgc too. It usually works out quite well because some years we have alternate days so the extra presents ds would normally get he can have on boxing day so hes not watching his sb and ss opening with nothing left. The sc have never said oh but ds has had more they know they have things at their mums house whereas ds only has things from us and our family ect. You cant always make things completly equal but it levels out. I think the op sounds lovely and i would of loved to have you as a stepmum instead of the evil witch i got who left me out at every oppurtunity and even booked holidays without inviting me ect. I try really hard to be a good step mum because i know how shit it was with a bad one. That doesnt mean my ds goes without because im over compensating ,i treat them equally as is possible

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