My DH has left me.
He has left behind his 15yo daughter my DSD, our DS who is 5 and our beautiful 7 week old DD - what a mug I must be as I really didn't see it coming. He has someone else, since Christmas apparently. I feel numb. I found out by accident (overheard a conversation while i was in ITU after a complication of the birth and then went through his phone), though he looked relieved and packed his bags. He couldn't get away quick enough, though he emptied our joint account on the way out!
My baby DD has been diagnosed with CDH so needs an op next week to have her hips broken and reset. He's told me he'll check with "Joanne" if they have anything planned and will "try" to look after the other children but if it comes to it, doesn't see why i have to stay at the hospital - nurses are there to look after my DD! Not only that but when she has it done she will be in plaster (from chest to ankle) for at least 6 months and I don't know how i am going to manage. He won't help me.
DSD mum doesn't want her back. DH can't have her with him (he isn't ready to tell the children about Joanne yet!) and she wants to stay with me. I don't mind, I love her and so do my kids. The shame and gumiliation, i had to phone her mum and tell her he'd left - she insisted on details and then phoned him and gave him a bollocking.
Kids back at school this week and of course, I'm hot gossip. 2 poorly kids (my DS just got a diagnosis he is deaf and has had hearing aids) and her husband has walked out, any1 know why?!? You can all imagine.
I am angry (with him), I am scared (for my DD and this horrible op and that my DS may get bullied for his hearing aids). I don't want her anywhere near any of my kids. He isn't being helpful he sent me a text tonight saying he is aware he will miss out on the kids but has to do what he has to do. Now I am all alone with 3 kids, 2 of which have very new and different special needs I'm learning about and i don't know where to turn.
Its all too much - what am I going to do now?
:(
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DH just left me with 2 poorly kids and DSD - what do i do now?
littlemissliedto · 11/09/2011 00:53
Bastard.
Just an aside for the moment - I don't see where your DSD's Mum gets off ringing your H and giving him a bollocking when she doesn't want her own daughter back 
Bastard.
Utter wanking bastard.
I suppose you are going to do what the rest of us in your situation have done - pull up your big girl panties and get on with it. I don't mean to sound at all heartless as it sounds like a living hell - but you don't want that shitbag back, you don't want to send DSD back to her Mums so I don't see you have many choices :(
I'd be straight to the lawyers re your savings & I'd tell him if he doesn't replace the money on Monday you will be calling his boss and telling him what he's done & his mates & his parents & the dog on the corner of the street
Bastard.
Then you need to sort out the practical stuff - get a bank account that he doesn't have access to and get all of your income put into that.
Bastard.
CSA
Bastard.
Do you rent or own - what do you need to do to secure the roof over your heads?
Bastard.
Tell him he has to come around tomorrow to tell the children, or you will. I don't give a flying fuck if he's ready or not, it's not his choice and tell him when he comes he can pick up all his stuff. There's no going back
ChippinIn said pretty much what I am thinking. It is rare for me to be completely shocked on the relationships boards these days but your fucker of an H has achieved it.
I am so sorry that you are in this godawful predicament. Your DSD might prove to be a huge help and support to you in that she is old enough to babysit your DS, not overnight but at least for some of the time. I am not suggesting that you lean on her emotionally of course, that would be wrong and she has enough to deal with re. her own parents abandoning her, poor kid - but practically she could be very helpful.
Bugger the other mums at the schoolgates - they should just say to themselves "there but for the grace of God go I" and STFU. Could happen to anyone.
Your SIL sounds like a peach as well - best get rid of that connection too, I feel.
And your poor baby!! Going through that hip thing, no fun at all! Someone I used to work with had that with her DD2 and it was hard with nappies and things, and the casts make it awkward.
Talk to CSA, talk to CAB - have you any of your own family you can call upon for help? Then divorce the arse off that fuckwit you had the misfortune to marry - ARRGHH!! He makes me so angry I want to pull his head off and piss down his neck! Hateful shitebag. Leaving his DC because it's "all too hard for him" - bloody kipper! (twofaced and spineless). 
OK - I hope that you can find the strength you need to deal with all of this - remember to ask people for help. And above all, remember that any shame in this situation belongs directly to your prick H - feeble coward that he is. Running out on his children like that! Fucker.
Chippingins post mirrors how I feel after reading your post 
The I only thing I want to add is I promise you and your children will get through this and come out the other side Ask for as much help as you can from friends/family they will all want to help. I'm so sorry you are being put through this stay strong massive hugs and focus on getting through one day at a time 
I really admire your strength and courage and I agree with everyone else about what a loser your ex is and is family and ex wife!
You've had some good advice so far. I wanted to talk about being on your own at the weekends and feeling like you do. I remember feeling like you years ago, when I was first on my own and I found myself counting how many single people were in the cars coming towards me at weekends when I was driving and how many were couples! After a while though, I realised that I was better off alone and how much more freedom and time I had not having to cater for anyone elses needs.
You only have to read this board and the relationships board to realise just how unhappy some people are in relationships. Not everyone who is part of a couple is happy and you never know what goes on behind closed doors.
Speak to the CSA about maintenance from DSD's mother as well as from her arsehole of a father - both of them are supposed to be responsible for their child, and are expecting someone who is no relation to her to do all the practical childraising! Poor girl, thank god she has you.
He's a twat, who will miss out on his children's life for the sake of a relationship he will no doubt screw up. Fuck him.
Littlemiss been thinking of you all morning hope you're ok.
Go to CAB as soon as you can they will be able to help with advice on Money etc they are brilliant .... Also CSA website has a calculator on it which is a good place to start re money.
Hope the kids are being good for you and you have friends/family rallying around.
Ditto about asking for/accepting help.
Such a tough time for you but you can do this!!
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I know this isn't helpful but What The Fuckity Fuck???? What a nasty pathetic wankstainy bastard I don't have any practical advice I'm afraid, other than to keep talking both here and in RL. Contact your local SS office, thery should be able to advise you on DSD and benefits. I'm so sorry, what an awful situation for you all.
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