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We don't agree on ANYTHING and DH thinks everything should be HIS way

(4 Posts)
DayTripperYeah Wed 07-Sep-11 12:27:17

DH and I were seeing each other for around 2 years before we involved our children (both DD's and both live with us full time). We moved in together about a year ago and to be honest it's been hell ever since. DH seems to be under the impression that I should change EVERYTHING about my own parenting to suit the way he parents his DD. For example I always spend a bit on christmas and always have yet last christmas DH "informed" me that "he" doesn't do things like that so we'd have to limit what we spend on both DDs. He wanted to spend just £50 each on them as that is what HE'S always done. However I have always spent £200 on my DD at christmas and felt it very, very unfair to just suddenly cut that back to £50 just because he says so. So that caused ALOT of tension but it's carried on. For instance his DD is a year older than mine so DH says she can't have anything until the age his DD had it. This includes keys to the house (his dd had to be 13 before she got her own keys so now he expects my DD to hang around on the street for half an hour after school until his DD gets home as it wouldn't be fair to give her a key before she's 13??). HIS dd didn't get her first mobile phone until she was 12 so my DD wasn't allowed a phone until she was 12 etc etc.
Everything has to be HIS way. "this is the way I'VE always done it" but what about me??? what about the way I'VE always done things??

theredhen Wed 07-Sep-11 13:34:23

If I were you I would simply start parenting my child my way! I assume you have tried talking to him about having house rules and had no joy? Did you move into his home? That might explain why he just wants to carry on as before?

You are entitled to have a say in your own home and in the parenting of your own daughter. You've tried being fair. Time to start stamping your feet!

Ungratefulchild Wed 07-Sep-11 13:45:08

What does he say when you bring it up? This behaviour must be very divisive for the girls? how do they get along?

LaDolcheRyvita Wed 07-Sep-11 21:26:08

Oh God....I couldn't carry on like that. I know combined families have to compromise but really, that's so stressful. Does he like your daughter? I wonder.

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