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(3 Posts)
lateatwork Tue 30-Aug-11 13:54:50

I know I know, I wouldnt want her to be with me anyway, but blimey it annoys me sooooo much that MIL has decided to travel internationally to visit DP ex and help out with DSS (7) as DP ex new partner is off on holiday. Where is the desire to visit or even acknowledge DD's existence (will be 3 in November)... its just annoys me that the favouritism is so blatent. DP Ex is heavily pregnant and apparently needs help with DSS... I think its lovely that he has a close relationship with her... it just bugs me that she does not think the world of her grand daughter too.

This really really upset me today. DD is a lovely little girl and it really cuts me up that MIL does not think she is even worth a phone call.

theredhen Tue 30-Aug-11 14:02:44

Aw, don't be upset. I'm sure DD is a lovely little girl and it sounds like it's your MIL loss.

In my experience and from what I have seen of other people, people feel "sorry" for "first" children simply because they are not growing up with a mum and a dad in the same house.

We all know on here that DSC often get the best of both worlds and I don't mean materially. They often get 2 parents, 2 step parents, several sets of grandparents, aunts and uncles etc, not to mention 2 homes.

I think there is a still a perception, especially by older generations, that DSC are hard done by and will be "damaged" by being from a broken home.

I don't know how you change her perception, but you can make your little girls life the best it can be without her around. Do you have other extended family (perhaps on your side?) who can "make up" for your MIL's behaviour?

lateatwork Wed 31-Aug-11 13:15:31

thanks theredhen.

It really upset me yesterday. DPex and MIL actions will have a direct impact on DD. If my mother was to behave in the same way- outrageously favouring one of my children over another, I would have words and I wouldnt allow it. DP ex does not care what the impact of openly favouring DSS over DD is as it does not effect 'her child'. DP has tried to talk to DPex and MIL but to no avail.

And the whole going over to help out DP ex as DP new partner is away and she needs help with DSS as she is pregnant? DP ex has asked that DP not have his regular scheduled access visit... clearly she doesnt need a babysitter now that MIL is there..... arghh. I am currently carrying her next two grandchildren and I guess they too will receive the same treatment as DD. hmmm maybe she will adopt DPex new baby as her next grandchild... at this rate, she will see him / her more than the twins!!!

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