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Feeling sad for DSD

(3 Posts)
Imgoingtocounttofive Sat 20-Aug-11 13:03:11

She's (13 yrs old) been away with her mum for 3 weeks on holiday and came to us on Thursday for a week. She's really missing her mum who she has a very high emotion relationship with. One minute theyre best friends (as if they were both 13) the next it can be very dictorial from her mum, often to the point where she'll slap DSD round the face and make very personal remarks to put her in her place.

Anyway, so last night DSD was really upset and asked if she could go on the train to see her mum today. We normally say no when she asks and then general pattern is that her mum says "yes if Dad agrees", then my DP says no and so he is the one to blame in DSD's eyes. However, because we realise that 3 weeks is a long time to go to not seeing her mum at all, we agreed. So her mum didn't have a get out.

Instead of honouring her agreement, she is now not answering her phone. Sending strange texts saying there is a problem with her phone but DSD can visit, but if she knocks and there's no answer then DSD is to leave because it means she's asleep etc..

DSD is waiting by the phone and despite our trying to distract her with other plans for the day, she keeps saying "no because I'm sure mum will call any moment"


SingingTunelessly Sat 20-Aug-11 22:53:07

Oh dear. Can't DP call his ex and find out what's going on exactly? Sounds like an adult has to intervene here so that DSD knows where she stands with regard to the visit.

Imgoingtocounttofive Sun 21-Aug-11 09:26:17

Sadly she won't answer the phone to him either. He text her in the end to say what's happening as we need to plan out day and could she please get in touch. She called DSD to say she had started to feel a bit unwell and could they postpone the visit. DSD was breezy about it but knew she was lying. It breaks my heart, imagine doing that to your DD!!
Thing is, she was within her rights to say, "no, youre with your dad today and I have plans" Although it wouldn't be great, at least it would be honest. But she's so weak and childish that she can't do that.

They've planned for DSD to go there on Monday so no doubt we'll have the same again!

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