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so hard!

(3 Posts)
Fooso Wed 17-Aug-11 09:15:53

DP and I are having a rough time. My DSD's (13 and 8) have to live with us now as their mum is in hospital with a condition that now means she will be unable to care for them. They love being with us and even with new schools beckoning they seem happy (I know this won't last!)... I am finding it difficult to adjust to this new set up - its only been a few weeks. Before this it was me and my son (11) and my partner in the house. I know I have to step up but I'm not sure I can cope with the change in my life. WE had an arguement last night as I asked the girls to tidy their room and DP said he thought it was unfair that I ask them yet I tidy my son's room for him - which I don't! Is this the way it's going to be?

theredhen Wed 17-Aug-11 09:34:29

It is very, very hard isn't it?

I think you need to be kind to yourself and not expect too much too soon. It's going to take a lot of adjusting for everyone.

Try and make time for yourself and your DS if you can even if that means going out without the step children.

The double standards when it comes to discipline is incredibly hard. Having to be aware to the nth degree of treating them "all the same" and then quite often watching your partner favouring his own kids can really be a deal breaker. A lot of people suggest coming up with a list of house rules and getting the kids involved. Could you do this?

Fooso Wed 17-Aug-11 09:52:20

I'd like to think so - at the moment he's so uptight about it all - ex wife in a psychiatric ward and now we have to try and get them in schools - I think he's very over-protective of them so I don't feel he is being objective. I think you're right it's going to take time but I think sitting down with some house rules for them all would be good. My DS is happy with them being there which is a plus - he's very fond of them so I guess that's one hurdle. Thanks for your advice I know you have had similar problems. I just worry that I'll cope!

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