Aghhh dsd ds and dd on holiday.... Hell!

[Atwaroverscrabble]

arghhhhh need somewhere to vent as this holiday is driving me nuts!

Dh and i decided to take dsd(16),my ds (12) and our dd(20 months) on a caravan park holiday in the uk.... Dsd is due to move in with us in a few weeks too btw...

I am hating this and vow never to take kids on holiday again unless its just me, ds and dd!

1. dh doesnt drive, panics about lorries and is a bloody awful passenger so our 3 hour journey was awful! I was ready to sedate him with a hammer. Ds was entertaining dd and doing a good job, dh moaned at him... Dsd sat in the back like a miserable vegetable!
   
   
2. dh is taking every opportunity to do feck all and moans when he has to watch dd and is moaning at ds being energetic...
   
   
3. dsd is just generally being a miserable vegetable, staying up so its just her and dh together, so dh and i have no time alone and dh wont say anything...
   
   
4. travel cot wont fit in the bedroom so dd is in bed with me so i'm not sleeping well... Dh is in living room area...
   
   
5. today i said to dsd and ds about going on speedboat, dsd said yes! Then she realised it was just her and ds not me and claimed she doesnt like fast thibgs (bollocks) and so ds couldnt go.... I thought this was bloody rude of her! Told dh and he started making excuses and insinuated i was trying to 'even the score' between dsd and ds!
   
   
   Arghhhhhh i want them all to bugger off and leave me alone and i am not looking forward to dsd movibg in!!!

[EndInTearrs]

You're in for a tough time when she moves in . Say goodbye to ANY time alone with your DH and I can see ALOT of arguments erupting over his inability to see anything wrong in her behaviour. I feel for you.

[Atwaroverscrabble]

Thank you.... I am never going on one of these bloody holidays again and i am seriously considering whether ita worth staying with dh, he gave me a big apeech last week about how he realiseshe's selfiah etc and how he is going to change but this week he is worse and i juat want to shake dsd and make her do somethibg or even just talk!!!!!!! Arghhhhh

[Atwaroverscrabble]

Sorry for typos! Touch screen on phone....

[pictish]

I forsee impending domestic hell.
Not because your dsd is awful particularly, but because you clearly resent her invasion on your little family unit.

16 year olds often find family holidays lame beyond all belief. It's her age. Try to be kind.

[EndInTearrs]

I've done the step-parenting thing once and I wouldn't do it again for all the money in the world. ESPECIALLY with a teenage girl. It is honestly like having another woman in the house fighting for your DH's attention. Especially if she's anything like mine was with strange boundary issues (for instance sat on his knee stroking his hair and massaging his shoulders whilst grinning at me). It is so not worth the stress. You'll always feel like a 2nd class person while she's around. Sorry to be so grim but after the awful experience I had, I now do whatever i can to pursuade people not to do it.

[Petal02]

Why is DSD16 moving in with you?

[theredhen]

A holiday is a real test of a family situation. If you can't deal with things (and quite rightly from what I've read) on holiday, how will it be 24/7?

Talk from your DP is one thing, but it's actions that make the difference. He needs to SHOW you that he means business.

I too never want to go on holiday with my step children again, so I know how you feel!

[feckwit]

She just sounds like a regular teenager to me - 16 year olds on holiday can be a right pain, stepchild or not!

I would just get on with planning things for you and the younger 2 and then your stepdaughter and dh can decide whether to join in or not. It might do them good to go off and do some things alone and they might surprise you and want to come along with you and the others.

Teens don't really give their parents much space - they are up longer in the evenings so you are constantly aware they are around. You REALLY need to get your head round this before she moves in.

[mrswoodentop]

What on earth possessed you to take a 16 year old on a family holiday in a caravan ,definite recipe for disaster.
Last year ds1 was 16 ,we were in a cottage in France ,fine you would have thought,oh no he was foul ,sulky unco- operative .I swore we would never take him on holiday again.
The other day he was telling me how "last years holiday was really great"same holiday ????
It's like he remembers a completely different fortnight.
16 year olds are not easy ,you need to be sure you can cope with another alpha female in the house before you go ahead ,she is another adult in the house ,she will be up in the evenings and she will
have opinions ,teenagers are often very selfish often without even realising it.