Hi,
Not a regular poster- (more a browser) and have namechanged as I worry constantly about being spotted in RL, but just needed a rant- hopefully in the company of others who might have been there...
I have DSC whom we see most weekends and also a DC. I have been part of their lives for 9 years. They are lovely children, like most they have their moments though. Our relationship is good, but I admit to not feeling about them as I do my DC though they are NEVER treated differently by me.
Anyway, why is it that throughout the years of general parenting I have done, I am apparently good enough to feed, ferry, entertain, dress, comfort and love my SC, often doing the pickups and drop offs, running to various hobbies etc, but am NOT good enough, it appears, to have much of a say in decisions relating to them or to sanctions etc. I mean in DP's eyes.
We constantly co-parent our own DC- discuss the highlights of the day, the low points, behaviour. He will talk about her till the cows come home. He is not willing to discuss such things about DSC. Well, the good bits- yes. But not behavioural issues/more negative things. If I ever bring anything up it is met with a roll of the eyes. "I'll sort it". The resulting "sorting it" usually means an in-depth discussion with the DSC- like he is chatting with a mate (and I know some issues may be resolved like this, but not all) usually ending with smiles all round and the DSC with no real idea that anything they did was wrong. I am not allowed an opinion on this, if I were to offer one he would bite my head off.
I have realised that this has been happening more as the DSC have got older.
I just feel down about it today- after an important issue with one of the DSC which affects our own child also , and once again I have been given short shrift for trying to help. It is the eve of three weeks summer contact today which probably doesn't help, but I just feel crap about it all.
I have probably made DP sound awful, but he is a usually a wonderful man, it is just in regards to this issue. Sorry for the long post, off for a glass of wine I think....
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Disheartened and sad today.
4 replies
mudpuddle · 01/08/2011 16:06
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