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Reposted from AIBU.....

(9 Posts)
farnywarny Wed 27-Jul-11 16:01:00

Dp and I live together with my son. He has got 2 girls who stay with u s regularly. He is off work for the summer and thus providing the childcare for me and his ex.

Today he has decided to look after the children at his ex's flat (also his old home where they lived together for 13 years)

AIBU to be upset and think that this is inappropriate? I have already told him how uncomfortable their closeness makes me as he has a history of going back to her time and again

glasscompletelybroken Wed 27-Jul-11 16:15:18

No you are definately not being unreasonable. I would hate this but even leaving aside your own feelings, it is confusing for the children involved and may give them false hope that their mum & dad may get back together. It's also a bit odd for you and your son.
A bit odd all round I think, as you have already told him their closeness makes you uncomfortable he should be a little more sensitive of that.

feckwit Wed 27-Jul-11 16:17:29

I don't think it is odd. Presumably the house is all set up for the girls, has all their personal bits around them etc.

theredhen Wed 27-Jul-11 16:21:50

I don't think it's all that unreasonable if the kids have all their stuff there or if they are seeing friends or something? If he is simply choosing to be there to have a nose round or for old times sake, then yes, I think it's a bit odd.

Personally I wouldn't want my ex in my house while I was at work all day and we get on pretty well.

brdgrl Wed 27-Jul-11 18:16:54

I think the answer is here:
"I have already told him how uncomfortable their closeness makes me as he has a history of going back to her time and again"
In that case, YANBU!
If they have a amicable, even friendly relationship and everyone involved is comfortable with that, then it might be quite natural and no big deal. But it all depends on the relationship. Some exes manage to get on quite well as family, and come and go from one another's homes, blend all the kids, etc...but that doesn't always work.

It sounds that you have concerns about it, and that he has a history (post-divorce, I assume you mean) with his ex. In that situationm, YANBU, I think.

chelen Wed 27-Jul-11 18:40:58

I would say YANBU, arrangements like this can only work if everyone is happy and if you're not comfortable, it isn't going to be ok for you


Message withdrawn

WaitingForMe Tue 02-Aug-11 12:37:27

YANBU in the slightest.

fourkids Sat 27-Aug-11 14:24:13


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