It's me again about DSS1
For a very long time, his treatment of DSS2 has been terrible. Now I know all other brothers 'bully' to some extent, and that arguing between siblings is completely normal. BUT, the way DSS1 constantly gets at DSS2 has now, in my opinion, got to be totally unacceptable and makes me feel very uneasy.
It's all verbal. Literally within the first 5 mins they were here this evening, I counted 6 occasions of DSS1 getting at DSS2. It's not joking around, it's constant talking down to, undermining etc. Makes me totally cringe and want to leave the room. DH completely agrees with me. Tonight he said that DSS1 was at it all the way here in the car. DH does correct DSS1 about it, tells him to stop.
IMO part of the problem is that DSS1 has picked up his mother's attitudes. She, in my opinion, has a definite case of narcissistic personality disorder. She has a bullying attitude, not only to DH but to her own children. In a verbal controlling way. Like his mother, DSS1 doesn't seem happy unless he's putting someone (in his case, DSS2) down.
DH telling DSS1 to stop is ineffective. IMO this is because the problem is one of his values, rather than a simple behavioural issue that can easily be corrected.
DSS2 is quite even tempered but quite an emotionally vulnerable child I would say. Unlike DSS1 he is quite 'deep' and caring.
I've been thinking, and I feel uncomfortable now with DS listening to this. He's nearly 3, and is starting to notice. Do you think it would be ok for me to suggest to DH that in future, each time DSS1 does this, he should be asked to leave the room? Me leaving the room wouldn't really solve the problem of us 'allowing' it in our house, and DS being exposed to it.
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Step-parenting
DSS1 and his bullying attitude
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allnewtaketwo · 06/05/2011 20:39
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