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Court and Cafcass

(10 Posts)
PeppermintJunkie Tue 22-Feb-11 14:50:04

We all hear stories about our DP's experiences with the court and CAFCASS are concerned, (and forgive me if someone has posted this kind of thing before), but what about Stepmothers?

Have you had any involvement as far as the court or CAFCASS is concerned i.e. interviews, attendance at court in relation to your step-children? How did you find the whole experience? What was expected of you? What was the outcome?

Your stories are gratefully received

lateatwork Tue 22-Feb-11 14:58:42


are you going through this now?

PeppermintJunkie Tue 22-Feb-11 15:59:29

I have had involvement as a step-parent, the court system along with other agencies. I am interested to see how people feel about the current system (or unhappy as the case may be).

I understand the system has changed somewhat compared to that of five years ago, but wonder if the best interests of the child are in fact being met.

emjanedel Tue 22-Feb-11 20:31:15

I am currently going through this. As i am not on the court application - i have not been allowed in the actual court room. I wasn't going to be spoken to by CAFCASS however, our officer tried to initiate interim contact and invited me and DP to a meeting to try and arrange somekind of contact. The officer explained to me that the whole thing has nothing to do with me and our 10 month old DD. Basically i am being told that SD can make all the deisions ie she wants nothing to do with me and see my DD when she wants. I can understand and praise the courts for wanting to preserve the father-child relationship but where does that end?

PeppermintJunkie Tue 22-Feb-11 21:20:11

I think it's also questionable as to how they establish the right 'age' that a child can make their own decisions. After all, one 12yr old child may have more intellectual maturity than another? How could a child of that age or younger know what will be best for them in the long-term?

In my opinion, if a child isn't allowed to leave school until they're 16, then the same should apply in most respects within the court system surely?

What I don't understand about your situation emjanedel, is that your SD is allowed to make a decision to see your daughter but keep you out of the way?!?! You're now part of a blended family and the courts should be ensuring that this is maintained or established for ALL the children's sakes.

ladydeedy Thu 24-Feb-11 16:53:27

I have had some similar experience to emjanedel - my name was on the court papers when it came to discussing residency order for my husband's child (who lives with us) but when I arrived with him, the CAFCASS person was actually incredibly rude. Came up to us - handed husband a piece of paper, faced down, and said this is for you to read ONLY, not your wife, it's nothing to do with her. Then he was called into the court (with his ex) whilst I sat in waiting room for hours. CAFCASS person told my husband in passing that she became involved in CAFCASS because she had a bad experience when getting divorced in the past and wanted help other WOMEN. In my experience they are all middle aged, bitter, anti-men!! (my perception may be a bit biased though! smile).

ladydeedy Thu 24-Feb-11 16:54:08

i should have said "anti-fathers".

magicjamas Thu 24-Feb-11 20:38:39

Message withdrawn

johnyb Tue 26-Jul-11 21:42:04

While I was in court today to try to prevent my wife from leaving the country with my six year old son and to return to the philippines to remain permanently. ( the judge allowed it)
I was made aware of a letter issued by CAFCASS stating my 6 year old son does not want to see me. my wife and I split( she left me) stating dom violence as as a reason. nothing proven or ever happened. considering the fact i had too much to lose if it did,
For CAFCASS to issue that kind of statement in the relationship of father and son is very biased and inappropriate
Considering the fact I have not seen my son in 5 months and CAFCASS have not looked at both sides of the issue.
Or given John and me any means to interact and be observed and notarised
This letter is highly unprofessional and damning to both my son and me
This should be reported to a higher level and the person who issued this letter should be sacked.
I am extremely hurt by this tactic and I feel I have been treated in a grossly unfair manner.
The time delay has been a major cause of this, as I truly believe I could have prevented any damage if I had been allowed to see my son sooner. To reassure him of his safety and the love I hold for him.
And my son has obviously been damaged by means of alienation methods by my ex wife ! she has poisoned his mind against me.
It is my opinion that CAFCASS officer has acted out of bias and not fairly.
Ill judged comments are not wise in that field of work.

berkshirefem Wed 27-Jul-11 10:33:33

johnyb I'm sorry to hear your story sad

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