Dp, favourite son and bloody christmas(17 Posts)
you aren't being petty. your h is a tosser.
Decamp to a sunny isle & leave them to it.
sorry, your p is a tosser. no reasonable adult would be so clear about his failure to properly love two of his children. and it's not about the money, it's about the attention. i am furious on their behalf.
What a horrible situation, your poor daughters.
I'd be very tempted to go and buy them both a ds (money permitting) and put it in their stockings without telling or consulting your partner.
But obviously this is about much more than Christmas.
Does P just not see the damage he will cause to your family? And that his actions will not make his son love him, ultimately, quite the reverse.
As Mazzy said, it would be great to buy each of them a ds without telling your p.
poor kid, dss is likely going to end up very angry with them both. it sounds like his parents are very angry with each other too. i don't know what to suggest really.have you tried family counselling?
i know dsd is your dp's daughter but i would be so very tempted to even out the balance here (present wise at least) and make her feel like the "special" one.
That's disgustingly hurtful. Never mind "winning" the child in question, how can he possibly justify showing such blatant favouritism ? I'm sure you're right and much of it is down to trying to prove who's the "best" parent, but it also disturbs me to read that you think there may also be an element of sexism going on here as well ..... as in the father/son thing. If so, his poor daughter will not only feel like the 2nd best child, she'll also be getting the message that women are somehow less important than men - from her dad of all people, who should be boosting her self esteem, not making it obvious he thinks less of her.
I fully understand you wanting to get tit for tat things for her, and if you can possibly afford it, I think you're going to have to to spare her feelings .... but I'd be bloody angry about effectively being forced into doing so to make up for his appalling parenting skills, thus blowing the budget, which, let's face it, is a consideration for most of us these days. I'd be so pissed off about this I'd spend what I would have spent on him on his daughter.
But obviously this is an issue which isn't going to go away .... I bet you have the same thing at Easter, birthdays, and I bet SS gets 1st choice about what to do & where to eat if you go out (am I right ?). If he's so bloody convinced he's doing nothing wrong then he won't mind explaining what a paragon of perfect parenting he is to a counsellor will he ? ...... I can't imagine there's a counsellor in the land who'd condone what he's doing, and he needs a 3rd party to get him to see he's so very wrong. Whilst your immediate concern is for SD, he's also doing SS no favours at all either.
Sounds to me like he doesn't have his son living with him and he's trying to buy him to do so. Very unhealthy behaviour.
I like catsmother idea of spending your budget for HIS gift on the girls. (if finances permit)
I would be tempted to organise a girls day out too and do something nice just for the girls and you- to even it out and perhaps it will hit home that it is not nice to be left out.
And - Yes- Keep a good supply of Wine
Well for a start thank god for you - at least someone is sticking up for your dsd and I hope she appreciates you. Your DH is being a tosser and unfortunately until he looses all respect from both of them - son will dislike him as kids know when they are being bought and daughter for being so blatantly disregarded - he is unlikely to get it. Make sure you spoil her and dont spend any money AT ALL on presents for him - agreed with catsmother entirely.
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