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Plans & wills

(5 Posts)
Niceguy2 Sat 20-Nov-10 08:32:59

Hi all

Interested in what other step-parents think in this situation.

My partner & I have been together for 2 years. I have 2 kids (14 & 9) from a previous relationship. She has a 3 yr old.

We live together and I can honestly say I cannot imagine loving anyone else more. The old adage "You just know when she's the one" has definitely come true. Ahhhhh! I hear you all say!

Perhaps its because work are sending me to a dangerous country in a couple of weeks but its focussed my mind on how I provide for everyone in case I heaven forbid die.

My kids would obviously go to my ex so I need to make sure they're provided for but I think I also need to make some provisions for my GF & her son (my SS).

What have others done?

wendihouse22 Sat 20-Nov-10 16:50:38

Well, living up to your name there!

What a lovely chap. Lots of men wouldn't even think about the girlfriend and step kids.

It's reasonable to want to provide for "all" of your children. How would your own children feel about it, do you think?

It's a tough one.

My partner has provided for me, my young son and his three own kids when one, the other or both of us die.

Speak to a good solicitor.

englandsmistress Sat 20-Nov-10 22:31:02

Does it depend a lot on each femails own ability to support the children?

For example; I live with my partner, my DD and his DD. His DD spends half her time at her mother's.

I have a good job and could support myself (albeit it not fantastically well) if my partner died.

His ex however has no financial stability, doesnt work etc and so he does need to make sure that his daughter is provided for in the event of his death.

If his ex was more self sufficient then I imagine he would leave some provision for me and my DD.. but as it is, it will all go to her.

Niceguy2 Sun 21-Nov-10 10:12:18

Thanks Englandsmistress. And you are ok with this arrangement?

To be fair, my new partner is very understanding and has the same values & thought processes as I do so I don't think its anything we'd fall out over. I'm just cautious because my last GF was a nightmare and hated the fact I had anything to do with my ex.

One thing I've realised over the years is that despite us being apart, we will always be tied by our kids and when all said & done, when push comes to shove, we need to help each other on occasions.

As for how my kids feel, I think they'd understand if I made some provisions. I don't think they'd be happy if I left everything to her.

I think my partner would prob. struggle more than my ex if I were to die. Her son is much younger.

Lots to think about. Thanks

Abip Tue 23-Nov-10 10:20:58

Hi NG all i can do is tell you what we have done. I moved in with DP and his SS. I have two DC's and help pay the mortgage. We went to a local solicitor and have a deed of trust stating i will own 29% of property once i have finished paying my part. Which will obviously go out the window if we move and buy a place together. We have both done wills and if I die all my money/shares go to DP and he will have my DCS. If he dies all money goes to me and DSS stays with me. If we both die money split equally among all children. Then heaven forbid if all of us die is split between brothers and sisters equally. In my op we share our lives/bills we split everything equal. Hopefully moving in the next two years so will equally own property.

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