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Did your feelings towards your dsc's change when you had your own dc?

(18 Posts)
Mummynumber2 Sat 13-Nov-10 20:01:31

I'm pregnant with my first bio dc and have 3 dsc's who I really think the world of and love to bits.

I've been having terrible dreams/ nightmares recently that have been making me feel really uneasy. It's either that I've forgotten I have dsc's, left them on the bus or at school or forgotten their names! Know it sounds stupid but did your feelings towards your dsc's change when you had your own?

Suppose I'm just worried that having a baby will make me love them less.

SMummyS Sat 13-Nov-10 20:51:06

Mummynumber2 im bumping for you, hoping the BoM's on here see it as they gave me some sound advice regarding my possible situation

mjinhiding Sat 13-Nov-10 21:05:28

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mjinhiding Sat 13-Nov-10 21:08:08

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Mummynumber2 Sat 13-Nov-10 21:44:48

Oh yes, I'd forgotten about the bonus thing, I do prefer it.

Thanks MJ, and smummys for bumping. I love the idea of love growing with a family and believe me, especially since I've told my DBoc's I'm pregnant, there's more than enough love in our family already.

I realise that I will feel a different kind of love for my dc. But how do you make sure that your DBoc's don't realise that?

Yes, I do realise that strange and vivid dreams are a symptom of pregnancy, I guess I'm just fixating on something that's worrying me!

mjinhiding Sat 13-Nov-10 21:57:19

Message withdrawn

whoknowswhatthefutureholds Sat 13-Nov-10 22:05:32

It got easier for me, I loved DBS but would get so worried because I used to get so cross with him/find him annoying etc. and felt kuje the most evil person.

Now I have three of my own I realise that children are annoying and make me cross!

I love him in a differnet way to my DC but he does with his mum too.

whoknowswhatthefutureholds Sat 13-Nov-10 22:10:00

also it's a bit like having another of your own, love just keeps on growing.

cobbledtogether Sat 13-Nov-10 22:32:05

It didn't reduce my feelings for DBD. If anything it made them grow stronger.

I found it improved all our relationships as the new DCs were her brother and sister, so we were all connected a bit more.

ChaoticChristmasAngelCrackers Mon 15-Nov-10 00:39:04

I'm not a BoM but the dream that you describe as having forgotten to pick them up from school is one I had quite a few times when my ds and dd were at primary school. When they both at senior school it stopped so I wouldn't connect it with you loving them any less because I'm sure you won't. Love is infinite, it multiplies the more people there are for you to love the more love there is

Mummynumber2 Mon 15-Nov-10 19:17:56

Thanks so much for all the reassuring advice. It's so nice to hear these positive stories.

After not seeing DSD2 for a few days she ran up to me gave me a big kiss on my cheak, then another one on my stomach 'for the baby'. I think we'll all be ok!

Mummynumber2 Mon 15-Nov-10 19:19:42

AHHH! DBD not DSD!!! I'm blaming baby brain!

Suda Tue 16-Nov-10 13:59:49

I used to say to my DC when they were little and asked all their - 'who do you love most - x y or z ?' questions - Love is so big that no-one ever found a ruler big enough to measure it.

It was lovely to hear my DD say this to my DGS one day when asked who she loved most - him or Daddy - she obviously remembered.

DreamTeamGirl Wed 17-Nov-10 23:02:55

I havent done the step/BoM thing myself, but I endlessly dreamt I had left my DS somewhere etc when I was pregnant so I think its a fairl;y normal dream if that helps at all?

Good luck with it all!!

Kelziz Thu 18-Nov-10 00:37:25

When I was pregnant with DD16mths I had a recurring dream that DSD (then about 10.5 years) kept wandering away with the baby in her buggy, and coming back without her. Whilst I was screaming 'where's the baby?' DP would come over and tell me off for shouting at DSD, and the pair of them would wander off unconcerned whilst I was hysterical.

I just had to bear in mind that pregnant women have anxiety dreams regardless of their circumstances.

You couldn't meet a more devoted pair of sisters by the way Just ignore the dreams!

Kelziz Thu 18-Nov-10 00:38:58

Sorry, forgot to say, I always loved the 'flowers in the sun' analogy of loving siblings. A nice way to explain that there's always enough to go around.

Suda Thu 18-Nov-10 10:27:13

Whats that one Kelziz - Flowers in the Sun - or is that just it.

Lovely happy ending to your post btw.

perfumedlife Thu 18-Nov-10 11:56:50

I had a great bond with my ss so before my own son was born I had the same fears as you op.

Infact the love I had for my son made me more compassionate to ss iykwim. I really felt for him too that he was not living with his dad, and his home life was very chaotic. It made me love him more.

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