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If I died, would dd stay with dp, or have to go back to xp?

(7 Posts)
Ladydutchalot Thu 04-Nov-10 10:07:46

Just a theoretical question, but I am thinking about my will. If I name dp as dd's guardian, and I then die while she is a minor, would she be able to stay with dp, or would she have to go and live with (completely incompetent) xp?

glasscompletelybroken Thu 04-Nov-10 10:18:05

Ah - wills. We're trying to do ours at the moment. I don't know the answer to your question i'm afraid, but I will be watching this with interest.

SMummyS Thu 04-Nov-10 10:59:24

I'd say you best seek legal advise as from what I'm aware if your exP has perental responsibility for her then she would go to him, however you DP could challenge him for residency. But as I said your best getting proper advice from someone who knows what threy are talking about.

If you find out can you please update as I would like to know what would happen to DSD if something happened to her mum

pagwatch Thu 04-Nov-10 11:01:56

Get legal advice. Get your will drawn up and get trustees sorted.

mumblechum Thu 04-Nov-10 11:05:18

Hi, I'm a freelance will writer in my spare time (also work in a high street practice as a family and wills lawyer), and this is something I come across quite regularly.

You can certainly appoint your partner as Guardian of your daughter, but you need to be aware that that appointment doesn't prevent your ex from making an application under the Children Act for residence.

If he did make that application, the court would have to consider whether it was in the best interests of your daughter to stay with your partner or go to live with her father.

This isn't an exhaustive list, but some of the factors the court would consider:

How long your daughter had, at that time, been living with your partner

How often she normally sees her dad

Whether her dad or your partner can best provide for her educational, emotional, physical and social needs

Whether there are any allegations of poor care by either the partner or the dad

Your daughter's wishes and feelings (not the last thing the court would consider by any means).

If you'd like to talk offline about making wills, my email address is, or you could PM me.

Ladydutchalot Thu 04-Nov-10 11:27:57

Brilliant, thanks for the advice. Dd's contact with her dad is sporadic through his own choice (currently 4 days per year) whereas she has lived with dp for 2 years. Will get in checked out when back in the UK and update xx

zazas Sun 07-Nov-10 22:02:28

Thanks mumblechim for the advice. We have just had this conversation - where my 12 year old DD has voiced that if anything happened to me then she would prefer to stay living with her stepfather.

I wasn't even sure that was an option but what you have said makes me realise that it certainly is and it will be something that we will address when we make our new wills (sooner rather than later I guess!!!)

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