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stepson and his mother - issues in the relationship

(4 Posts)
ladydeedy Mon 19-Jul-10 10:27:01

oh dear oh dear. where do I start? some of you may have seen my earlier post about my husband and I applying for residence order for his younger stepson who has come to live with us (basically unbearable situation at his mother's house and she told him to get out and give back the key to her house, which he did). His older brother lives with the mother. We have tried to encourage dialogue between my SS and mother so that they can form some kind of positive relationship going forward, and spend some time with eachother but she seems to ruin every opportunity (she just lives a 10 minute walk away). She's phoned him and told him how selfish and thoughtless he is to have left and that she will "force" him to go back (we have explained that she cannot do this). She's now saying to him that her boyfriend of a few weeks is "very angry" that she's become upset at what's he's done, and that if she splits up with said boyfriend, her resulting unhappiness will be "all his fault". Not really conducive to building a better relationship with her own son.
He doesnt want anything to do with her and my husband and I are struggling to know what's best to do. She wants to see him and speak to him (purely to bully him, in my opinion) but he is not interested. As she's making him unhappy we've decided to let things lie for the time being till she smartens up her act and have explained to her that he doesnt want to speak to her (which of course is winding her up even more).
Any other advice out there?

prettyfly1 Mon 19-Jul-10 11:18:15

You are doing the right thing. Her emotionally manipulative bullying is cruel and wrong so I would go further and field calls for him!!

prettyfly1 Mon 19-Jul-10 11:19:08

Oh and if she continues to make threats, emotional or otherwise, call a solicitor and get an abatement order banning her from calling him until he is ready to speak to her.

ladydeedy Mon 19-Jul-10 11:28:33

thanks. Yes, when she phones we simply say we'll pass the message on, so we are fielding calls. It's just painful and I feel so sorry for him. He doesnt deserve that, on top of everything else.

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