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It was like giving birth twice!

(38 Posts)
BoopTheSnoot Mon 13-Jun-16 00:33:09

So on May 18th I gave birth to my second beautiful baby boy....and immediately after gave birth to something entirely different.
I'll set the scene. The night before I went into labour, I got a really sore bit where the waistband of my pants was sitting. I thought the pants were maybe a bit snug so ignored it. At bedtime I took said pants off, still ouch!
So I had a feel, couldn't see anything cause of my massive bump. There it was. A boil my friends. Rock hard and the size of an egg, I shit you not. Throbbing but unyielding.
Next evening, off I trot to the hospital. Among the drama of childbirth I forgot all about my new pal. Delivered DS.
And the boil started throbbing again. And itching. Now that my bump has gone soft and jiggly I was able to get a look at the magnificent beast. It was HUGE with three small heads. I couldn't help myself. After what I'd been through, I figured I deserved a treat. I nudged it. The tiniest speck of watery pus emerged. Fuck it, I thought.
Grabbed Fred Second Head by the horns and have him a proper throttling.
BLAM! I've never seen anything like it. A jet- and I do mean a jet- of pus and blood fired up to the heavens and splattered the ceiling! I sat there utterly shocked. I summoned my mum and husband to come and take a look. They gawped at the ceiling, none of us could quite believe it.
I hadn't had my fill. I grabbed Fred again. SPLAT! I was rewarded with a handful of thick yellow gunk. And then another. Then another, mixed with blood. Then just blood. I slumped back, exhausted and unsure which feat of my genital region I was more proud of that fateful morning.
And then two nights ago, the same area felt itchy. Hello Fred, we meet again I thought. BOOM! Another handful of pus.
And guess what? There's still a hard lump there. I'm going to treat Fred to a mag sulphate facial tomorrow to see if he will come up trumps again. He's the gift that keeps on giving. I shall keep you updated.

Jugglingballs65 Mon 13-Jun-16 00:35:35

Wow, seriously wow!

BoopTheSnoot Mon 13-Jun-16 00:40:31

I know. It was absolutely magnificent. Easily the best pop I've ever had. Even the midwives were suitably impressed. Looking back, I can't believe I went for it in front of two midwives, but then again they'd seen me do something much more graphic just beforehand I suppose.

KatieKateKat Mon 13-Jun-16 00:40:48

Well fuck me grin

catsofa Mon 13-Jun-16 00:43:15

Awesome, thank you for sharing!

Oswin Mon 13-Jun-16 00:45:08

Wow. I'm so jealous!

BoopTheSnoot Mon 13-Jun-16 00:47:08

I've never had anything like it before. I doubt I'll be lucky enough to have anything like it again. Such is life. I'll always have the memory of it grin

BreakfastAtSquiffanys Mon 13-Jun-16 00:58:08

Have you actually fed the baby yet or are you too busy with Fred?

BoopTheSnoot Mon 13-Jun-16 01:02:09

Oh yes. I like to attend to Fred when everyone else is in bed, so that I can give him my full attention without being judged by DH grin

BankWadger Mon 13-Jun-16 01:02:33

Photos of the next go or I cry bulllshit.

Alisvolatpropiis Mon 13-Jun-16 01:08:09


BoopTheSnoot Mon 13-Jun-16 01:08:17

You've got yourself a deal Bank. Here's a picture of Fred taken just after I first noticed him. Due to belly size, it was the only way I could get a look at what was going on under the bump!

ellenanora5 Mon 13-Jun-16 01:52:40

Claps hands!!! gives op a standing ovation, bloody well done, you saw to fred good and proper grin

You have my admiration and congrats on both the new borns smile

BankWadger Mon 13-Jun-16 07:28:48

💖💗💓💞 Boop

BreakfastAtSquiffanys Mon 13-Jun-16 10:33:31

I bet the midwife was pleased that Fred didn't burst all over her as she was delivering your baby

BoopTheSnoot Mon 13-Jun-16 11:24:31

She noticed Fred and asked if he was part of an old c-section scar hmm
But then of course he ruptured and she learned the ugly truth about what he is grin


I read your OP and just wanted to light up afterwards. And I don't even smoke.

BoopTheSnoot Thu 16-Jun-16 22:39:52

It was glorious. I must admit, I think about it quite a lot more than I should
He hasn't burst again but he's definitely refilling. Honestly, I can't bloody wait. I am truly disgusting, aren't I?

hornetgirl Fri 17-Jun-16 21:09:06


laidbackneko Fri 17-Jun-16 23:42:14

That was magnificent OP!!! Bloody good show.
Please don't forget to post Fred part II !!!

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Fri 17-Jun-16 23:47:21

Is it a carbuncle? They're lovely!

Colourfulpast1975 Fri 17-Jun-16 23:54:33

Boop - I love your writing made me feel like if I was the one with the boil - marvellous 😂

WhingyNinja Mon 20-Jun-16 13:57:20

You ARE disgusting but we don't judge here in Sporner Corner wink huge congrats on the newborns grin

BoyFromTheBigBadCity Wed 22-Jun-16 17:51:07

OP, you're my hero.

Arfarfanarf Thu 23-Jun-16 09:40:55

I need a ciggie after that!

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