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Share your funeral wishes with Co-op Funeralcare - £300 voucher to be won! NOW CLOSED

(385 Posts)
EmmaMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 28-Sep-17 11:37:32

Thinking ahead to a time when you will no longer be here is undoubtedly not a pleasant thought. The majority of us plan other big life events such as birthdays, weddings, baby showers and/or anniversaries down to a tee, however when it comes to funerals very few of us have detailed plans in place. If there's something in particular you have in mind, whether it’s something beautiful, something personal, or even something humorous, Co-op Funeralcare would like to know.

Here’s what David Collingwood, Head of Operations for Co-op Funeralcare has to say: “Funerals are very much about personal choice and reflecting the personality and interests of an individual. This is becoming increasingly evident through the growth we’ve seen in people choosing to pre-plan their own ceremonies using a funeral plan.”

Do you have a specific piece of poetry that you want read out by a certain someone? Maybe you’d request that all of your friends and family turn up in fancy dress? Or perhaps you already have in mind a certain song that will put a smile on everyone’s face...Monty Python’s ‘Always Look on the Bright Side of Life’ and Frank Sinatra’s ‘My Way’ are popular songs requested for funerals!

Co-op Funeralcare would like to know what your funeral wishes are, so please share them below and all who comment will be entered into a prize draw, where one lucky MNer will win a £300 voucher or their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck!

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MargoLovebutter Thu 28-Sep-17 11:48:16

Funerals are for the living, not the dead. Sometimes what seems like a fun idea when you are alive, like making everyone wear fancy dress, could actually be really distressing for those mourning you when you die.

The most meaningful funerals I have been to were where the family choose what they thought the dead person would have liked and what they felt showed respect for who that person was. I went to a funeral recently where a very strange pop song was playing (as specified by the deceased) when we went into the crematorium and everyone was asked to wear red, the favourite colour of the deceased. People felt uncomfortable & cracked awkward jokes about the song & being in red. I'm not sure that kind of thing is a good idea.

My funeral wishes are to leave enough money for my family to celebrate my life how they want to and not in a way that I dictate to them. I'll be dead and won't have a clue. My funeral will not be for me, it will be for those who mourn me (hopefully), so they should choose.

I expect that probably isn't what the Coop want to hear.

DancesWithOtters Thu 28-Sep-17 12:00:02

I don't really want anything formal, neither does DP.

No fuss, no religion, no singing, no following a coffin.

I would like to put aside a couple of grand behind the bar at my favourite pub, and send all of my loved ones to go and drink my favourite beers for an evening. The End.

StepAwayFromCake Thu 28-Sep-17 12:14:53

I want a simple whisker casket. No embalming, no fancy clothes, no waste. I want to go back to the earth as simply and as quickly as possible. If my family prefer to cremate me, that's fine, too. No bouquets, no flowers on top, just something colourful and sweet smelling around - maybe gerberas, roses, lavender, fresias. No lilies! And then I'd like the congregation to take flowers home and put them in vases to enjoy. And I'd like them to sing - or listen to - Perhaps Love. And have a lovely slap-up tea afterwards: all my favourite cakes, ice creams, tea and prosecco, a sweetie bar. The rest is up to my family - let them choose what will comfort them.

AdaColeman Thu 28-Sep-17 15:28:22

I'd like some poetry read as I would hope it would be soothing and calming for family left behind, maybe Innisfree by W. B. Yeats or some Hopkins.
I think music can be comforting too, so I'd like something light played at the end, so the family left with uplifted spirits, I've thought about "We'll gather lilacs in the Spring again".

I'm thinking about a funeral plan so there will be no worry for them about costs.

asuwere Thu 28-Sep-17 16:14:23

When I had my will done, I made sure the executors knew roughly what I want, but I made it clear that it would depend on when I die and how old my DC are as to what it's like as it would be for them rather than me.

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo Thu 28-Sep-17 16:36:46

Yes, it’s for those left behind so I don’t really mind what happens. I’d prefer a humanist ceremony, but my mum wants me to have it in church. I’ve got a few favourite hymns that I’ll offer as suggestions, but obviously I’ll have no idea if they decide to use them or not grin hopefully it’s a few years off anyway!

I’ll probably ask for Rutter’s For the beauty of the earth to be played as it’s just, well, beautiful.

MrFMercury Thu 28-Sep-17 16:41:15

I've chosen the songs I want, the type of funeral and something I want read out as part of the eulogy. That my funeral represents my life is very important. It's also very important to me that I leave clear wishes so that my family have as straightforward a time sorting it as possible. I've been in the position more than once of arranging a funeral for family who refused to talk about their wishes at all and it made a very emotional time worse.

FlukeSkyeRunner Thu 28-Sep-17 16:53:53

I'd choose a low key burial with a few words at the graveside. Minimal fuss. But it would be up to my dh to decide what was in the children's best interests - it won't affect me as i will be dead!

Motherofterriers Thu 28-Sep-17 16:54:22

It's for those left behind, so I would want whatever would cause my children least distress.
I personally dislike untended graves, and people move around such a lot - cremation or a woodland burial is probably best. There's a nice woodland cemetery near here, that would be fine - but whatever my loved ones want. It's not going to bother me!

Cosmia Thu 28-Sep-17 17:06:58

Good music - having hymns that people can sing and music that is beautiful makes such a difference to a funeral service. A service that is led by someone who knew me and can give an appropriate address would also be important. Good food and lots of champagne afterwards is also a must!

Heathen4Hire Thu 28-Sep-17 17:17:20

I would like a non-religious ceremony with plenty of rock music played. I am into Royal Blood and Kasabian, so anything loud will suit.

I want to be cremated and my ashes dumped over the side of Brighton Pier. I can't see the point of paying out for a posh casket in that case, so cardboard or wicker would do.

I would provide a grand for the mourners to drink up, and of course, put on a party, with a decent rock n roll covers band. No slinking off before 10pm. Oh, and wear what the hell you want.

ClashCityRocker Thu 28-Sep-17 17:27:13

They can cremate me and stick me somewhere.

Then I want a bloody good piss up with lots of food.

RaininSummer Thu 28-Sep-17 17:32:42

I would like to be in a cardboard coffin and taken to the crem in the back of a van. If family and friends get together afterwards I hope they have a few drinks and tell funny stories about me whilst listening to my favourite sounds.

Minidoghugs Thu 28-Sep-17 17:39:59

My dd is always telling me her funeral plans, she's only 13! She's a bit morbid that way. Today she told me she wants to be buried in a tomb like the pharaohs, surrounded by all her stuff and all her favourite foods. Nothing to be given to the charity shop, which she hates, but any money of hers is to be left to the dog.

UpOnDown Thu 28-Sep-17 17:46:55

Something inexpensive.

tillymint21 Thu 28-Sep-17 18:15:52

I'd like good/beautiful music played that moves people and reminds them of me in some way, both classical and contemporary. I love poetry so I have particular poems I'd like read. Then a get together somewhere nice of all those that cared about me, with good food and drink! When planned well funerals can sometimes really help people to pause, reflect, remember and maybe look at their own lives in a new context.

ErinSophia Thu 28-Sep-17 18:16:37

My funeral wishes are to be buried in a white coffin with red roses, I want my funeral to be paid for by me before I die so my family don't have to worry about money while they're grieving for me. I want the song Fields of Gold by Eva Cassidy to be played as it's so beautiful and gives me goosebumps every time I hear it. I want everyone to wear yellow as it's a happy colour and my funeral will be in memory of my life not just my departure from this world.

Gazelda Thu 28-Sep-17 18:19:53

It’s not something I’ve ever thought about.
I guess I just assume that my funeral,will be something traditional, a loved one will say a lovely eulogy for me, there will be hymns and the a get together in a nice pub.
I would like loads of flowers, even though I know that is horribly wasteful. And thinking about it now, I’d like my ashes to be scattered where my mum and grandparents are.

Hefzi Thu 28-Sep-17 18:22:09

I'd like a church funeral - Anglican - with Now the Green Blade Riseth, Jesus Christ is Risen Today and Thine be the Glory as hymns, with Jesus Christ the Apple Tree as the anthem. Nimrod as a recessional. I want to be buried beside my grandparents, and I'm excited that wicker coffins are finally fashionable, as I've wanted one of those for over 30 years grin

In reality, it'll be whatever my parents/siblings want - they're the ones it's all for, after all!

purplepandas Thu 28-Sep-17 18:34:22

To be scattered with dd1 and to have her funeral song.

mrsRosaPimento Thu 28-Sep-17 18:46:55

The only thing I've talked to dh about is to play my favourite songs. I love Disco Inferno by The Trampps. Although I prefer cremation, so probably not a suitable song.

theresamustgo Thu 28-Sep-17 19:12:49

Humanist, and whatever makes my survivors happy and consoled.

Falconhoof1 Thu 28-Sep-17 19:15:56

It's up to my nearest and dearest how they want my funeral to be. When I'm older I might give the a few ideas but only so they can take comfort in knowing they are doing it as I would like. I'll probably take out a funeral plan at some point so it's all paid for in advance but other than that they are welcome to see me off as they want.

whiteroseredrose Thu 28-Sep-17 19:44:54

DH wants his ashes putting into a rocket firework and then setting off. Probably while everyone drinks scrumpy whilst singing the Wurzels 'Where be yon blackbird to?'!

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