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Find out how Mumsnetters got help from their parents to get on the property ladder

(458 Posts)
LucyBMumsnet (MNHQ) Tue 17-Dec-19 09:52:28

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Getting on the property ladder can be an uphill battle for first-time buyers - from the financial challenges to the legal paperwork it throws at home seekers, many rely on help from parents to make it happen. That’s why we want to find out if you’re considering or currently purchasing or have already purchased your first home and how you went about it.

So we are asking you what help you received or are receiving from your parents, if at all, and roughly, when this was? Who started the conversation, you or your parents? Did you tap into the Bank of Mum and Dad and how did you do that - through their savings, using their existing assets or property, them getting a loan, accessing their pensions or another way? Was it in the form of gift, loan or early inheritance? Did you seek legal advice and formalise the process with your parents? If so, how easy was it to sort out the legal side?

If you could, how would you change the process of receiving your parents’ financial support when buying your first home? If you’re considering saving for your own children’s futures - perhaps so they can buy a home - what’s important to you?

Whether you have considered, currently getting on the property ladder or already have your first dream home, post your thoughts on the topic on the thread below. All MN users who leave their opinion will be entered into a prize draw where 1 lucky winner will get a £150 voucher for a store of their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck,

Terms and conditions apply

DonPablo Tue 17-Dec-19 09:58:13

My parents, nothing. They were too poor. I'd saved 7k. My dhs parents (divorced) are very wealthy. They each matched my savings. They used spare money from investments that had cashed in. They offered. So we had a 21k deposit, 8 years ago. On a house that we paid £185k for, that was virtually derelict. We borrowed 20k to do it up.

We have also extended the house thanks to an inheritance from dhs side. The house is now, unbelievably worth almost £500k.

CMOTDibbler Tue 17-Dec-19 10:05:00

My parents taught me to work hard, save everything I could, and prioritise getting on the housing ladder over everything else. Dad did buy me some furniture at auctions (I was so happy to see the back of the horrible brown sofa that had woodworm in the legs, so he took them off and just added castors) and mum bought me a futon to sleep on, but that was it.

DS is very lucky and has money in trust from my great aunt, so by the time he's looking to buy something he'll have a decent deposit, but I'd rather help out with paying solicitor fees etc as a surprise rather than giving him money

Dowser Tue 17-Dec-19 10:29:47

I bought my daughter her first home and her and her dh paid me back in 12 years..or it may have been 15.
Can’t believe just 20 years ago it was under £50k and now worth about £125k
They tried for 6 years to sell it and it wouldn’t budge. By this time they had three children so they hit upon the brilliant idea of letting it out to a lovely couple. The monthly £500 or so rent pays a big chunk off their mortgage on their current and they wouldn’t dream of selling it now.

Cordillera Tue 17-Dec-19 10:34:55

My mum encouraged me to buy a flat as soon as I could. She inherited a small amount of money and gave me £3000 to either pay off my student loan (from mid90s) or use as a deposit. I saved til I had £5000 and that was enough for a deposit on a one bed flat in 2000 and I've moved up the ladder a couple of times since then.

Without her insistence on buying and her money I would have delayed and that couple of years would have put even a tiny flat out of my reach.

DurannieDeckingTheHalls Tue 17-Dec-19 10:40:40

My parents didn't directly help me get on the property ladder, but by allowing me to live rent free in a flat they owned ( I was responsible for all bills, council tax etc, just no rent) made it possible to save for my eventual first purchase.

SciFiScream Tue 17-Dec-19 10:41:50

No help from either my parent or my DH's parents. In fact we have been more likely to support them financially over the years.

We won't inherit anything either.

We save for our two DC, they have some money in a fixed bond which we'll keep investing, we save into a pension for them both and they both have a tiny amount of money in a child trust fund.

As we've always had to pay our own way, including the expense of childcare, there isn't much extra to save now for their future.

We will try and support them as much as possible through any further education they go to, support them as young adults to live in our home and save for a deposit and perhaps, if we have made it, given them a lump sum (though it will be small) from the tax free element of our pensions when we first take them.

If we are fit and healthy enough we'll offer to support childcare by maybe offering them a day each.

Wish we could do more 🤷🏼‍♀️

Aheraldangel Tue 17-Dec-19 10:55:24

My parents lent us a two thirds of our deposit and my mother in law the other third, just to get us out of awful rented accommodation, after we'd been evicted from our previous rented accommodation because the landlord went bankrupt. We bought a tiny 2 bed new terraced house in a village for £62k 22 years ago. When we moved five years later we offered to pay the parents back and they didn't want it. They used some savings for the money. There were no legal agreements. They offered, we didn't ask. We were extremely lucky, as we didn't earn enough to save up a deposit and would not have managed to buy otherwise.

mondaynitelive Tue 17-Dec-19 10:58:03

No help from parents. I bought a flat in London with 6% cashback and was able to save £6 for my deposit.

That was in 2001. If I'd waited I couldn't afford it now. I've since used the profits of a sale to move up to a house.

17CherryTreeLane Tue 17-Dec-19 11:56:50

I worked from age 17 to 19, living at home. My parents took a third of everything I earned, including overtime (I did loads of overtime!). When I was 19, I found a flat I wanted to buy & they gave me £2k back from the money I'd given them, to use as a deposit.

I had no furniture other than a bed a first, and no carpets, but I loved it!

meow1989 Tue 17-Dec-19 11:56:56

My parents had a saving account for me (and my sister) which was worth a fair amount when I got it at 18. This provided a base level of savings that I used to buy my first car etc but that always remained to some extent. When I finished uni and got a job I was able to add to it from there. Dh parents gifted money to match what I could put down on a deposit and we used help to buy to buy our house.

I am.aware that we are incredibly lucky and we have a savings account for our son to hopefully be able to provide him with a similar opportunity when he is 18 (currently 17 months)

pinknsparkly Tue 17-Dec-19 12:19:38

My parents instilled the importance of saving into us from a very young age and also gave us £2500 when we got married which helped towards our house purchasing costs. However, coming from a generation who believed that house prices doubled every 5 years, they constantly told me to buy a house from the age of 18. We bought last year, aged 32, after settling in an area that we will be having to live in for the foreseeable future. Up to that point, I wasn't willing to give up the flexibility of being able to move and switch jobs as I wished (and was on a series of fixed term study/training posts with no guaranteed job at the end) which caused no end of arguments with them! I'm pleased to now own a property if for no other reason than not having to argument my case for remaining in rented accommodation every time we see them smile

munchbunch12 Tue 17-Dec-19 12:30:41

I didn't get any help from my parents with our first purchase, me and DH just saved up the deposit, although it was a HA buy 50% rent 50% property, so it was very do-able.

moggle Tue 17-Dec-19 12:35:15

My dad offered to lend us money to help get our deposit over 10% so that we could get a cheaper mortgage rate (this was in 2009 so shortly after the credit crunch started). We already had savings but not enough really for the relatively expensive area we wanted to buy in and dad was keen that we didn’t wait much longer while prices were continuing to rise. In the end we got a “lend a hand” mortgage where savings from family were locked up in a savings account for the fixed term of the mortgage (I think 3 or 4 years?). Dad got 4% on that which was way more than other accounts were offering at the time, so he was pretty pleased, and so were we. When the fixed term ended he got his money back and the value of our house had risen enough that we now could keep the rate without his help. It was a great mortgage product!
When we moved again just before our first DC was born, my mum and dad just came to help on moving day :-D

RaininSummer Tue 17-Dec-19 12:39:12

No help at all. I don't think they were ever in a position to help myself and my sister to that large degree.

SocksOnTheBeach Tue 17-Dec-19 12:42:50

My mom didn't. I'm not a spoilt rich kid. I earned my own money and bought my own house.

Twickerhun Tue 17-Dec-19 12:47:34

My parents died when I was - teenager, my inheritance was held in trust until I was 18.

Sadly due to the circumstances I never learned to budget, that is one thing my parents could have really helped me to do but they weren’t around to be able to teach me that.

Inheriting so much so young but without role models to guide me was so bad for me, I squandered money badly and ended up having to take out two mortgages in order to live when I could have been mortgage free by now.

CopperPottery Tue 17-Dec-19 13:05:59

Nothing, they could have afforded to if they wanted to, but they didn't offer and I didn't ask

EduCated Tue 17-Dec-19 13:06:32

Currently looking to buy my first property (early 30s). My parents are in no position to help no matter how much they would like to.

onlyoneoftheregimentinstep Tue 17-Dec-19 13:31:56

We bought a house in an affluent London suburb in the early 80s, with no help from family. Forty years later it was worth 20 times what we'd paid for it and we were pleased to be able to downsize to a slighter cheaper area and give each of our children a generous deposit. We've had so much satisfaction from seeing them happy in their own homes.

BristolMum96 Tue 17-Dec-19 13:41:57

Lived with my parents rent and bill free so we could save up for a deposit

sifted Tue 17-Dec-19 13:46:04

Instead of taking my ( good ) place at uni I started working and saved as much as I could , bought a wreck of a house outright and gutted it , learnt loads as I went , continued to work and save , sold it on for a profit , and bought another wreck to work on , total workaholic.
I have my parents to thank for both my work ethic and attitude to money

Babdoc Tue 17-Dec-19 15:43:22

My parents? Not a penny. DH and I got a 95% mortgage, at an interest rate of 15% (it was grim in the 1980’s for first time buyers). We moved in to our house with just £30 left in our bank account. We had no tv, freezer, microwave, or even stair carpet for the first three years. Our furniture was worn out second hand junk from sale rooms.
My DC? I gave them a £100,000 deposit each, and they got mortgages at just 3% interest rates.
I feel rather aggrieved at some young people berating my boomer generation for being greedy or fortunate! Thankfully my own DC are lovely and not at all ungrateful.

EagleVisionSquirrelWork Tue 17-Dec-19 15:47:13

I got no help at all from my parents. I made my first purchase back in the days when you could get a 95% mortgage with 5% cashback, so only had to find the tiniest of deposits, and was lucky to have bought cheaply in a location that then enjoyed a huge boom, so that selling provided a decent deposit for my next home. By the time I moved again, I had a partner and we could afford to move up the ladder by buying jointly. I wouldn't be able to get my foot on the first rung of the ladder now because house prices are so insanely inflated by comparison.

If I had anything at all from my parents that could loosely be interpreted as help, I would say it was the sense they passed on to me that owning your home was important and that bricks-and-mortar property is a solid thing that can't easily be taken away from you. I actually think that impulse is unhelpful when everyone in a society shares it, and think the European approach to renting vs buying is more healthy, but my home provides me with an ingrained sense of security that I really value.

I can't imagine I'll be in a good position to help my children financially with buying a home, but they'll always be welcome to stay rent-free and I hope the more general support they've had has given them a good start in other ways.

SingingLily Tue 17-Dec-19 15:51:52

No help from my parents at all. In fact, they had a very outdated view of a woman's role and took me out of school early so I could contribute to the family coffers, thus consigning me to dead end jobs until I could fulfill my destiny of marrying and becoming a housewife. I had different ideas, however, and did the dead end jobs while I went to night school for some qualifications. When those helped me to establish a career, I carried on with the full-time job but took on both a part-time job and a weekend job until I could manage to save a deposit and buy a small terraced house.

I lived on very little in order to pay my mortgage but you know what? It was worth it. I had my own front door and eventually, I moved up the property ladder.

I don't wish that on anyone. What I would like to see is more help at an early stage - in terms of advice and support - to anyone who cannot avail themselves of help from the Bank of Mum and Dad.

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