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Let's talk taboo topics with Modibodi

(307 Posts)
JustineBMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 30-Jun-19 14:54:22

This activity is now closed

There are many topics that are traditionally considered taboo - and whether that’s discussing your period, the menopause, money whether you have it or not, or topics like incontience or sex, talking about taboo topics can sometimes be helpful, and so Modibodi would like to hear about the ways you talk about taboo topics with your friends and family.

Here’s what Modibodi has to say: “Modibodi™ is modern, protective apparel, created for real women. real bodies. real leaks! We cater to give all bodies more confidence and comfort, and a more sustainable solution to disposable hygiene. Our founder and CEO, Kristy Chong, spent almost two years working scientists and designers, developing, and testing the patented Modifier Technology™ that makes up the super stylish leak-proof knickers into the Modibodi collection. We have a UK team and warehouse, with same day dispatch, so you can get your Modibodi quickly! Modibodi also gives back to women in need through their Give A Pair program.”

“Modibodi believes that making a positive impact should be as easy as changing the undies we wear and now your swimwear too. Along with our sister brand RED, which is period proof protective undies for tweens and teens, we want all women and young girls to feel confident and be leak free. If you don’t believe us, try them for yourself with a 30-day free trial.
Modibodi offers FREE shipping in the UK and Northern Ireland, and are currently offering Mumsnet users 12% off their first order with the code ‘mumstaboo’ on their site. Offer excludes packs, gift cards and sale items.”

How would you talk to your daughter about her period? Or educate your son on what happens to women during menstruation? Are continence or ‘leak’ issues something you feel like you can’t mention, or are there topics that you’d be too embarrassed to speak about outside of a doctors office? Do you find it difficult to talk about money with others, out of fear they’ll feel judged, or that they’ll judge you? Perhaps there’s some people in your life you’d talk about anything with, regardless of how taboo the topic?

However you discuss topics that are traditionally taboo, share a comment below to be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 voucher for the store of their choice (from a list) and one MNer will win a £100 Modibodi voucher.

Thanks and good luck!

MNHQ

Insight Terms and Conditions apply

MaggieMagpie357 Tue 02-Jul-19 11:29:51

My mum was never good at discussing anything personal while I was growing up, so I decided early on to be much more open with both my daughters about it. They are now 10 and 12 (12yo has adhd and possibly ASD, as yet undiagnosed) which concerned me as I was really unsure how she would cope with having periods. We bought her a book about puberty just before she turned 10 and just let her refer to it as and when she wanted to (she prefers it that way!) School were also really good at explaining what was happening to their growing bodies and as a result, when she got her first period just before she turned 12, she was v calm about it and has shocked us all by coping with it really well! I would love to invest in some Modibodi underwear for her as she sometimes struggles with pads due to poor fine motor skills, and I'm also acutely aware of how bad they are for the environment.

cannotmakemymindup Tue 02-Jul-19 12:12:25

I am trying to make sure Periods are not taboo in our house as my daughter grows up. So I talk very openly about it especially as she notices as she comes in the bathroom. Also make sure I tell my husband about periods etc as whilst I have no intention of going anywhere, I want to make sure he is just as comfortable talking about periods and knows as much as possible for daughter.
Always keep it age appropriate of course for her.

MsMarvellous Tue 02-Jul-19 12:44:09

I don't make a big deal out of the subject of periods but both my kids, male and female, know what they are and how they work in an age appropriate way. I've never hidden that I have a period from them and have answered any question honestly. I apply the same logic to conversations about sex, biology, social
Issues and death. Allow questions and answer honestly and appropriately.

TheHopefulTraveller Tue 02-Jul-19 12:48:25

I never really understand why some topics are considered taboo, especially within families. Why would you want to share your life and your home - even your bed - with someone you can't talk honestly with? I haven't got a daughter but my sons have known about periods forever. They'd forbear from watching me change a tampon anymore, but as toddlers they were very interested in the mechanics of it all. I have heavy periods and there would have been no hiding it all even if I'd wanted to anyway.

Now I'm the age where the menopause is just around the corner, I find most women are happy to talk about that too - my mother-in-law told us all about her menopause experience in Pizza Express once, and two friends I introduced to each other at a social thing recently were avidly swapping menopause symptoms within minutes.

Lots of posters have mentioned parents not wanting to talk about this stuff, but I don't think it's a generation thing to regard it as taboo, so much as a 'some people' kind of thing. My mother and mother-in-law are completely unembarrassed, whereas there seem to be even quite young people on Mumsnet who coyly talk about 'Auntie Flow' and 'that time of the month'.

I think leakproof period pants sound fab, btw! - assuming they are leakproof...

blackleggingsandatshirt Tue 02-Jul-19 13:13:47

I spoke to my DS school to see when/if this subject would be discussed, as I want him to be aware of puberty, body changes and have empathy with girls/young women. I was told that it would be year 6, which I thought was just about the right age. I told him about periods - he already knew, and was quite matter of fact about it (an older neighbour who he is close to told him) So I was a bit too late. Looking back I am so proud that he just accepted this information in a mature way,
I was always embarrassed about having periods - until having my babies - no bodily function is taboo now.

MrsArchchancellorRidcully Tue 02-Jul-19 13:20:46

These look interesting. My daughter is 10 and has known about periods since she was around 6. I started my period at 9 and my parents has told me nothing. I wasn't close to my mum and found it hard to talk to her. Initially I thought I was dying.

When I had my daughter I vowed to be different for her. So we've always talked openly about bodies and where babies come from.

My son is 7 and also knows about periods and that only girls get them but he knows to get his sister chocolate when hers arrive! smile

We've not talked about erections and wet dreams etc yet. I think he's a bit young yet but we will do in a few years.

I'm an accountant do have no issues in talking about finances!!

The one issue I can't talk to anyone about is my body. I'm overweight and there are things I'd love to do but can't. Eg shop in normal women's clothes shops, go on theme park rides. I feel like shit for this but don't know how to talk to anyone.

Dizzywizz Tue 02-Jul-19 13:25:11

I have 2 boys aged 4 & 6 / I have told them about periods but didn’t consider ‘taboo’ subjects like these. I guess if the situation occurs I would.

I will explain the menopause to them when I am in it.

I do sometimes have ‘leakage’ issues - I have a disability- but I do not feel comfortable discussing that with anyone, apart from doctors

pushchairprincess Tue 02-Jul-19 13:34:55

My periods started when I was 9, and it was a horrible experience being at primary school, wearing pads, and being teased for it. I don't want my DD to go through the same. I have spoken to her about it, and made it sound as natural as I can, and not scary, as I feel she may start her periods very soon (she is 9 ATM) and bought some period pants and pads to keep in her room. I have also spoken to her class teacher about what PHSE classes involve periods etc -which have given me peace of mind.
I wear tampons and pads at night along with period pants to give me a good nights sleep without the fear of leaking in the night.
As for money - It's my business - no one else's.
Thanks Mumsnet for bring this subject up for discussion.

clh47 Tue 02-Jul-19 14:03:05

I'm trying to avoid Periods being taboo in our house but my 10yo daughter isn't interested in talking about them. Have bought her a book and keep encouraging her to read it and ask any questions.

I'm also working to stop the menopause being a taboo topic. When I mention it people start talking more quietly, but don't see why I should feel embarrassed about what my hormones are doing to me body.

StinkEye Tue 02-Jul-19 15:51:53

I've always been super open with my young daughters about periods, growing up, developing, our bodies etc but i have really struggled with the birds and the bees chat, as once we start that conversation, there's no going back and it won't take long for my eldest daughter to realise 'hang on a minute, daddy puts his willy in mummy'. So that conversation has been a little more 'clinical'.

EvilHerbivore Tue 02-Jul-19 16:38:16

I am a single parent to 2 boys - there haven't been any terribly awkward conversations, just dribs and drabs as we go along
They've seem sanitary wear in the bathroom so I explained that every month, mummy's tummy gets a 'bed' ready in case a baby grows but if a baby doesn't grow then the body flushes it away and that tampons/pads are needed to stop it going on my pants
They also had to come with me whilst I had my depo injection so again I just explained that I had to have an injection in my bum to make sure we definitely had no more babies in the house, they were very pleased that they were staying as the only two!

backfarblackcar Tue 02-Jul-19 17:22:54

I really don't care about money. I'll talk about what I earn and it doesn't bother me. I realise others feel it's private so don't just talk about it for the sake of it. But private is not really the same as taboo. I don't think money is taboo. Death, sex, periods and other bodily functions can be. I can't even say the word sex around my parents. They were not really open, perhaps they tried but I only ever felt embarrassed which is hard to shake off. I forced myself to use the correct terminology with my daughters for their genitals and it's now just the word we use, and when they've asked 'what's that blood' I've explained it matter of factly. My son is too little yet but I think it's almost more important to be open about female biology and sex for him. What I do struggle with is going swimming with them and suddenly they very loudly like to talk about vulvas and vaginas and hair which makes me squirm!
I also am not so good at talking about death with someone who is grieving because I just know that the wrong thing can be disastrous. Some say they just want people to talk to them. Others don't. I think because it's not a common thing in my life it's hard to be natural and relaxed especially when we all know how difficult the subject is.

Pollywollydolly Tue 02-Jul-19 17:28:28

I have always talked frankly to my children about everything, there are no taboo subjects in our house. As I suffered with heavy, painful periods for many years, my children were always aware when I was menstruating. I wish period pants had been around when I was a teenager.

1969angep Tue 02-Jul-19 19:00:53

Leaky wee is a regular topic at the school gates - we all try and laugh about it but dread it when our kids bring a cough/cold home with them lol

BollockyBagels Tue 02-Jul-19 19:23:16

My daughter is 13 and yet to start her periods. I've chatted with her about them and also given her a book. She seems embarrassed about talking about it but I have reassured her as much as I can without making a big deal about it. Incontinence is much less of a taboo subject than it used to be mainly thanks to so many adverts for associated products at prime time. My friends and I discuss a whole array of taboo topics and have no qualms about it. Nothing is off limits.

kungfupidge Tue 02-Jul-19 19:36:03

i have two sons 5 and 11 and am currently pregnant with my 1st daughter i intend on telling my daughter early about periods etc so she will be prepared, my eldest son recently had a puberty talk at school and asked me about women's periods i told him about them and he said i'm so glad im not a girl lol i feel its important for both girls and boys to be knowledgeable about these things.

fishnships Tue 02-Jul-19 20:14:51

It is much easier talking about periods that when I was young, This is helped by advertising in newspapers and magazines and because sanitary products are now more readily available. I do cringe a bit when they are advertised on TV, though!

Cismyfatarse Tue 02-Jul-19 20:28:13

I am by nature a very frank and open person so no topic is off limits except I refused to tell my then 8 year old daughter how often her Dad and I "did sex." I told her that was private.

We discussed periods, why I no longer got them (coil) and my son was involved too. He finds women a bit yucky still - he is a gay man - but he knows what he needs to know to ensure he is a good friend and understanding colleague, boss or brother.

Both know about my struggles with incontinence post menopause and are both sympathetic. It helps that their Dad is a scientist so explains everything in great detail. They don't embarrass easily as a result.

They know about family struggles with miscarriage and infertility and are aware of the problems of the female (and male) body.

I hope we have done enough. Time will tell.

LolaHola Tue 02-Jul-19 21:07:03

I never had a problem talking to my parents about anything when growing up. In later life we don't have problems discussing death, funerals or similar. When I hear of those families that do I feel so sorry for them. Any site like your that helps those to overcome this can only be good.

kennythekangaroo Tue 02-Jul-19 22:14:48

DD hasn't started her periods yet but we have had quite a few discussions about them and options she has. It seems much more open to discussion than when I was that age.

JustSeven Tue 02-Jul-19 22:22:53

We’re very much an open family, nothing is taboo here. My own mother was very private and never discussed things like periods or body issues. I intend to be much more open and approachable with my own children.

Fluandseptember Tue 02-Jul-19 22:27:55

How would you talk to your daughter about her period? Or educate your son on what happens to women during menstruation?

Not quite at periods yet, but they won't be far off. I have a middle daughter and an older and younger son so it's a bit of a conundrum, esp as girl is way ahead of elder brother w puberty. I've talked to them at teatime about it, just as part of ordinary conversation; unpacked washable sanpro w them all (some for her, as preparation); I also talk to her on her own.

Are continence or ‘leak’ issues something you feel like you can’t mention, or are there topics that you’d be too embarrassed to speak about outside of a doctors office?

Continence IS a taboo for me - aside from post partum. Not something I've talked to the kids about.

Do you find it difficult to talk about money with others, out of fear they’ll feel judged, or that they’ll judge you?

Depends what, and with whom. I think it's a sensitive subject, especially when people have totally different amounts.

Perhaps there’s some people in your life you’d talk about anything with, regardless of how taboo the topic?

Yes, a couple of friends - the ones I've had my children alongside. Sharing the baby days is an extraordinary bond.

kateandme Tue 02-Jul-19 22:47:31

How would you talk to your daughter about her period?be open.it shouldnt be an issue "to be talked about" it makes it become a thing.of course it will need conversations but if they are aware of it as just being part of them then it should ease into it much more.
my mum was alaways open with us.we saw her products in the bathroom and were with her when she bought them when we were little.so i cant remember not just knowing.my sister suffered with very nasty ones too we had to be aware!
id like my daughter to know she can come to me at any moment.and so talk to her let her know we can go buy whatever she needs.the options of what she ight want to use.if she feels unwell at school etc.help her be imformed as it can be a really uncomfortable and ceetainly confusing time.
Or educate your son on what happens to women during menstruation?they would be told.to make sure they are respectful of girls they know.at school etc.and so it too to them isnt a thing.
Are continence or ‘leak’ issues something you feel like you can’t mention, or are there topics that you’d be too embarrassed to speak about outside of a doctors office?i wouldnt say im cloed to it,but neither am i open about it.
Do you find it difficult to talk about money with others, out of fear they’ll feel judged, or that they’ll judge you?yes deff.its such a trciky subject especially at the oment.i deff would not judge others and ouldnt always be there for somebody if they need to talk about money problems be them wealthy or poor.everyone can struggle.everyone can have whatever limitations or budget its all relative.
Perhaps there’s some people in your life you’d talk about anything with, regardless of how taboo the topic?my mum and brother are two people i could discuss the world with.

Cataline Tue 02-Jul-19 23:06:32

I'm pretty open, not easily embarrassed and have healthy, close relationships with my husband, mum, sisters, kids, friends etc.

There's not much I'd shy away from discussing but after recently experiencing incontinence for the first time, it struck me that I'd absolutely not bring that up with anyone except my GP.

It seems that incontinence is my hard limit!

rackhampearl Wed 03-Jul-19 00:33:19

I have two girls aged 7 and 4. I have never hidden my periods from them. Any Mother will know how your little loves burst in on you while you're trying to pee/poo/shower. We have spoken about it and they know what to expect and they know why it happens. Both my Daughters are comfortable talking about how a body changes in many ways and that it's a wonderful and natural way of life.

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