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Let's talk taboo topics with Modibodi

(307 Posts)
JustineBMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 30-Jun-19 14:54:22

This activity is now closed

There are many topics that are traditionally considered taboo - and whether that’s discussing your period, the menopause, money whether you have it or not, or topics like incontience or sex, talking about taboo topics can sometimes be helpful, and so Modibodi would like to hear about the ways you talk about taboo topics with your friends and family.

Here’s what Modibodi has to say: “Modibodi™ is modern, protective apparel, created for real women. real bodies. real leaks! We cater to give all bodies more confidence and comfort, and a more sustainable solution to disposable hygiene. Our founder and CEO, Kristy Chong, spent almost two years working scientists and designers, developing, and testing the patented Modifier Technology™ that makes up the super stylish leak-proof knickers into the Modibodi collection. We have a UK team and warehouse, with same day dispatch, so you can get your Modibodi quickly! Modibodi also gives back to women in need through their Give A Pair program.”

“Modibodi believes that making a positive impact should be as easy as changing the undies we wear and now your swimwear too. Along with our sister brand RED, which is period proof protective undies for tweens and teens, we want all women and young girls to feel confident and be leak free. If you don’t believe us, try them for yourself with a 30-day free trial.
Modibodi offers FREE shipping in the UK and Northern Ireland, and are currently offering Mumsnet users 12% off their first order with the code ‘mumstaboo’ on their site. Offer excludes packs, gift cards and sale items.”

How would you talk to your daughter about her period? Or educate your son on what happens to women during menstruation? Are continence or ‘leak’ issues something you feel like you can’t mention, or are there topics that you’d be too embarrassed to speak about outside of a doctors office? Do you find it difficult to talk about money with others, out of fear they’ll feel judged, or that they’ll judge you? Perhaps there’s some people in your life you’d talk about anything with, regardless of how taboo the topic?

However you discuss topics that are traditionally taboo, share a comment below to be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 voucher for the store of their choice (from a list) and one MNer will win a £100 Modibodi voucher.

Thanks and good luck!

MNHQ

Insight Terms and Conditions apply

MotherForkinShirtBalls Mon 01-Jul-19 07:55:52

Thanks for using the words women and girls in your post here and recognising our biology.

I had awful periods as a teen and was too embarrassed to talk to my mum about them. I'm trying to be much more direct and open with my dc so even though I'm on occasion squirming inside they, especially dd, don't have any hang ups or reservations. I'd have found the period pans so incredibly reassuring when I was at school. I'm glad they are an option for teenagers now.

That said, both dc are currently obsessed with death. An entirely different taboo.

VictoriaBun Mon 01-Jul-19 08:00:35

When I had a period I never hid the fact from my daughter's when they came to the loo with me. They started noticing around age 3 , just by asking questions like ' Whats that ?' I'd answer just my period. Then the questions might have moved onto why do you have them? I'd answer it's something girls have when they grow up. So periods have never been a taboo in our house.
I'm a confident person when discussing bodily issues and don't have problems with anyone in that respect.
I don't discuss personal finances with anyone accept my dh.

jacqui5366 Mon 01-Jul-19 08:08:53

How would you talk to your daughter about her period? Or educate your son on what happens to women during menstruation?

I intend to talk to my son about menstruation when he 8 or 9 (depending on his understanding or whether he is ready emotionally to hear about this)

Are continence or ‘leak’ issues something you feel like you can’t mention, or are there topics that you’d be too embarrassed to speak about outside of a doctors office?

Leak issues are something I would talk about with my friends, I am not too embarrassed, I have a very heavy flow on day 2 and 3 and have 'leak worry' on those days, so have tampons and pads on those days.

Do you find it difficult to talk about money with others, out of fear they’ll feel judged, or that they’ll judge you?

It's private, and personal to me, I don't ask others and don't expect them to ask me.

Perhaps there’s some people in your life you’d talk about anything with, regardless of how taboo the topic?

My sister - I can talk to her about anything . - and vice versa

Belmo Mon 01-Jul-19 08:14:47

I’ve been totally open with my son and my daughter about periods since they were tiny - I really don’t want them to think it’s something embarrassing to talk about (unlike my dh - he is ridiculous about it, I don’t think he can even bare to say the word!)

fedupntired Mon 01-Jul-19 08:26:03

Good to see. We are very open in our family, except for my dd who hates anything biological!!!

bellinisurge Mon 01-Jul-19 08:36:30

My dd has just started her periods. We talked about it in advance and she only uses reusables- unless there is an emergency. I saved up and bought her a week's worth of modibodi knickers for school. I have bought but also make her some cloth pads - she decides what they look like; there are loads of fab patterns out there and some are free. We have reused some clothes that are too small for her too. Or I buy fat quarters. Or we look in the children's section of charity shops for funky cottons.

Gazelda Mon 01-Jul-19 09:08:18

I feel a tiny bit uncomfortable talking about periods to people I'm not very close to. But found myself in a situation recently where I needed to discuss menstruation while a 10yo boy was present.
I was delighted to notice that he wasn't uncomfortable, mildly interested maybe but not blushing or rapt with curiosity. A very healthy attitude and I commend his parents.
With my DD, I talk openly, factually and truthfully. It's a fact of life but sometimes not pleasant.
Taboo subjects when I was growing up was my mother's death. I'm determined that this will not be a taboo topic for my daughter.

BristolMum96 Mon 01-Jul-19 09:13:55

We are a fairly open family but I also don't see the need to discuss personal things with all and sundry.

JanuarySun Mon 01-Jul-19 09:16:24

I feel really awkward talking about periods. Intellectually I know it's perfectly normal and natural, but I still cringe.

JC4PMPLZ Mon 01-Jul-19 10:06:55

I try not to let anything be taboo. We discuss everything, but in factual ways and try to keep it calm and unfrightening. Where things, like death, are scary, we talk of how it is part of a cycle of life.

Blazedout Mon 01-Jul-19 10:23:16

My ds's ages 11, 8 and 4 all know that once a month I have a period and they know when as my box of sanitary goodies moves to the bathroom. When the box first came out they asked questions so I answered them, I have never hid anything and my four year old giggles when I wear a 'nappy for grown ups'

APurpleSquirrel Mon 01-Jul-19 10:23:43

I talk to my friends more about periods, i think because we're all becoming more conscious of the plastic/waste issues surrounding it.
I also talk to my husband.
I've already started talking to my daughter about it a bit (she's 4) when she's asked questions about sanitary products in the house. I'll also tell my son when he's older so that he understands.
I think it can be uncomfortable, but its a normal biological function of our bodies and needs to be talked about more openly.

cupoftea84 Mon 01-Jul-19 10:56:18

Periods were a taboo subject when I grew up. I wish it'd been easier to say something when mine started.
As a result of not having sanitary products I had a super embarrassing leak that made me fear them for years. I still find it stressful worrying about leaks.
I intend to be much more open with my child. Make it a non issue.

Batsypatsy Mon 01-Jul-19 11:20:02

I'm an only child and my mum was embarrassed talking about anything to do with the body. It made me feel very awkward all my life and has definitely affected relationships. I was determined my children wouldn't feel like that and have always talked openly to them about anything and everything, although I found it incredibly difficult - but I feel it was good for me too. Consequently my now mostly adult children come to talk to me about everything, my youngest was able to come out to me etc. I feel very strongly about this as it had such an effect on all my life. I've lived abroad in Europe and it seems many British are very repressed compares to many Europeans - a generalisation I know but it seems that way ime.

Noeuf Mon 01-Jul-19 11:30:41

I have three boys. I keep san pro in the bathroom and downstairs loo cabinets and they know about periods because I've always explained it - they've sometimes glimpsed blood in the loo or a pad somewhere. I'm not easily embarrassed by explaining how bodies work - we've covered sex, masturbation, periods, nose picking, ear wax, threadworms etc etc in our time. It's harder to talk drugs and alcohol tbh.

differentnameforthis Mon 01-Jul-19 13:04:20

My dd is 10, she has autism and severe sensory issues. She recently started her period. I bought a pair of Modibodis thinking they would help with her sensory issues.

She cannot not wear them. The seams are far too bulky and irritate her too much. Please look into this.

Otherwise, she knew all about what was happening to her, we talk freely an openly about periods, what it is to be a woman and why we have periods. It was especially important to me as no one really talked to me about it.

user1496959500 Mon 01-Jul-19 13:39:30

I can talk about periods more easily than I can about sex - periods is biology and you have little control over how heavy or regular they are (other than meds!) - sex is more down to you and I feel more stigma attached to good / bad sex lives as it’s largely down to the people involved rather than external forces like periods. I discuss different products and contraception options with friends, especially with drive for reusable stuff in the rest of life. My toddler DS thinks I use a “plug” for my mooncup and a “nappy” when I use pads, so will have some way to go when talking about it with him in the future!

FreshAprilStart Mon 01-Jul-19 14:04:58

I am absolutely discussing periods with my teenage daughter, and also my own menopause. Very open about this and her father is too, though not intrusive. Think this is helped hugely, and reflective of, current society attitudes.

Where the difficulty comes is with urine leakage. This shows quite a different impact in terms of openness and honest discussions. This is much more taboo and shameful and I tend to find anonymous places like MN is the place for a real conversation.

MargoLovebutter Mon 01-Jul-19 14:14:29

My DC are nearly grown up now, but I tried to talk to them about how our bodies work in an age sensitive, open way. We chat about most things without embarrassment, although given I grew up in a very repressed household, it isn't always easy for me. Both my DS and my DD have a much more open attitude and will happily chat about bodily functions in a way that I certainly never could.

I am so thankful for the internet, because I can chat happily about everything on here, where I'd still find a face to face conversation with anyone other than my DC, about everything that leaks excruciating.

ohdannyboy Mon 01-Jul-19 14:20:30

When I was at school, periods were taboo - not discussed, and embarrassing, thankfully things have moved on, and we are a much more open and less embarrassed about them. I can vividly remember putting rolled up toilet paper in my underwear when my tampon leaked, and the horrible feeling of using a pad how your period felt, so leakage was and still is a fear of mine.
So when my DS asked what my tampons were for in the bathroom cupboard, I told him in a way he would understand. He is not embarrassed and hopefully will empathise with his female peers.

Montydoo Mon 01-Jul-19 14:27:25

How would you talk to your daughter about her period? Or educate your son on what happens to women during menstruation?

As girls start their periods at an earlier age (or seem to from when I was at school). I think 8 or 9 - and have a brief chat about a period - but not too graphic.

Are continence or ‘leak’ issues something you feel like you can’t mention, or are there topics that you’d be too embarrassed to speak about outside of a doctors office?

I used to be very embarrassed about discussing leakage, but after having children - will discuss it with any health professional, my friends, partner and some work colleagues.

Do you find it difficult to talk about money with others, out of fear they’ll feel judged, or that they’ll judge you? Perhaps there’s some people in your life you’d talk about anything with, regardless of how taboo the topic?

I will only discuss my finances (lack of) and tax credit claims with my DH who looks after the finances - I will discuss pretty much anything with him.

Whathappenedtothelego Mon 01-Jul-19 15:07:09

I have friends that I can discuss anything with.
Some things are private, you don't need to talk about them with everyone- but it's good to have someone you can talk with.
I hope my daughter will be able to talk about periods etc with a friend or friends, as well as with me.

ButterflyOfFreedom Mon 01-Jul-19 15:31:01

We are quite open about discussing anything & everything in our house. Recent topics have included various body parts, cancer and death! I try to be honest without giving unnecessary detail which the D.C. may become worried or scared about or simply that they wouldn't understand.
I feel.its important to keep the communication channels open though and hope they can ask anything they want to.

Fumnudge Mon 01-Jul-19 15:54:33

Most of my generation found our first few periods tough as our mums just didn't discuss it, we vaguely knew from school but it was thoroughly embarrassing.
I've been open in my use of san pros (like a mum ever gets to have the bathroom door locked anyway hmm) so this has promoted open discussions. Now my eldest is 11 and, although still finds it scary, is prepared and knowledgeable.
I'm definitely going to buy her period pants and for myself too. I'm a heavy bleeder and would love the security of a tampon gush being contained by pants, and for my daughter it would just take so much anxiety away.
First time I've ever been excited about a period grin

SillyMoomin Mon 01-Jul-19 16:41:06

I haven't "brought up" the subject with my daughter, rather, I preferred to just discuss it generally in everyday conversation whenever it was appropriate

"Oh mummy what are those white sticks for" (Taxpax) etc etc "Well DD, .....)

munchbunch12 Mon 01-Jul-19 16:43:24

When DD is about 8 or 9 I plan to give her a simple overview of what will be happening to her phsically and emotionally and pass her an age appropriate book. That's what my Mum did with me and it seemed to work OK!

Pimmsypimms Mon 01-Jul-19 16:47:06

We talk openly with our teenage daughter about her periods, so we don't treat it as a taboo subject. We've yet to talk about it with our son, but he's only 6, when he's older, it's definitely something we will discuss openly.

Asuwere Mon 01-Jul-19 17:10:39

I try not to have any taboo subjects in our house. I try to speakly openly and honestly about anything and will answer any questions that come up (inside or outside the house/family)

Youyoustolemyhat Mon 01-Jul-19 17:47:49

So positive to read all these comments! My 4yo is fascinated with all things biology and bodies, so we have lots of very frank discussions (and have had a few hairy moments where she's shared her knowledge enthusiastically in settings where it's not been 100% expected! 😂)

I think the tide is certainly turning on the taboo of menstruation - I remember my Mum explaining things to me in hushed tones and with a pained expression. I try to use positive language when I discuss it with my daughter.

Elllicam Mon 01-Jul-19 18:08:40

We are really open with our kids (DS 6, 4 and 2 plus baby). They know that I bleed once a month but it’s ok.

EskewedBeef Mon 01-Jul-19 18:15:24

I've always tried to be matter of fact about periods with my children, and recently on BBC Breakfast there was a lot of talk about the menopause so we had a chat over our cornflakes about what it is and how it will change me.

I was brought up in a household that didn't allow talk about anything that was even vaguely connected to sex/reproduction/sexuality, and it made for an unpleasant and difficult time when my very heavy periods we really affecting my life and health (I secretly went on the pill when I turned 16, and my life changed!). Even now I can't talk to my mum about my 'women's issues' hmm

Ribeebie Mon 01-Jul-19 18:26:56

I'm very open and talk about these things and intend to normalise periods with my son (he's only a baby at the moment though!) I think my family weren't comfortable doing this when I was younger and even me breastfeeding has made my parents uncomfortable hmm so I'm determined not to have that environment for my children.

misskatamari Mon 01-Jul-19 18:46:59

We're a pretty open family too and I don't really feel like anything is taboo to talk about really. I definitely hope to raise my two children (boy and girl), feeling confident in discussing body issues with us and not feeling embarrassed or ashamed of things which are completely natural

TellMeItsNotTrue Mon 01-Jul-19 18:57:36

Periods are very matter of fact for us, it's the way I was brought up and it's the way I've brought DC up. It helped that I had two older sisters, but I grew up going to get mums pads for her when I was younger and seeing them in the bathroom, if I asked a question it was answered so I wasn't scared when I started my period.

My DC have seen me use pads, know they are in the bathroom and what they are for, and my eldest has recently started and was totally fine about it, her friend started before she did and was scared and didn't know what to do, my daughter helped her and then brought her to me after school (asking if she could come over) and spoke for her to begin with and then her friend relaxed and was able to talk, and we then told her mum together.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius Mon 01-Jul-19 19:02:41

I have some continence issues - a bit of stress incontinence - basically I risk a little leak if I cough or sneeze, so I wear sanitary protection every day. I have invested in washable sanitary towels, but might have been interested in pants like Modibodi’s, if I had heard of them - and if they were available in my size.

I am impressed that you go up to size 26 - I will be honest, and say that surprised me - and that will greatly widen the number of women who can use your pants. I am a 32 in clothes, but a 24 in knickers (M&S) - so I don’t know if your undies would fit me.

Mitzicoco Mon 01-Jul-19 19:13:33

I wonder if I chickened out a bit. I bought my kids an age appropriate book (dd 10 and ds 8) and asked them to read it if they wanted to. I told them that if they had any questions about any of it then they should definitely ask me. I will bring this up again over the summer holidays with dd. I didn't get my period until I was 14 but I certainly don't want her to get a shock if it happens to her sooner.

Whyisitsodifficult Mon 01-Jul-19 20:53:05

These would be great for exercising, very occasionally my pelvic floor gives way! I’ve not had a conversation with dc’s about it as I’m sure they’d think it’s weird mum randomly peeing herself! My husband knows that when I need to go I need to go!

Constantsarechanging Mon 01-Jul-19 20:56:24

I think being open to discuss most things is important, uncomfortable things are usually the ones that are most important to share.
Periods are part of life, having had endometriosis for 20 years or so I've always been prepared to discuss these matters with partners, friends and my children.
Very important to normalise these conversations so children aren't embarrassed.

Theimpossiblegirl Mon 01-Jul-19 21:07:21

I'd rather discuss my period or pelvic floor than my finances! grin

jitterbugintomybrain Mon 01-Jul-19 21:26:53

I struggle to talk about intimate things with my parents/ siblings but talk about everything with my kids including sex, drugs, periods.

yellowsun Mon 01-Jul-19 22:19:17

I haven’t hid away from DS (10) and he is now asking more. He knows what’s periods are and about sanitary products. I was impressed that his teacher talked about reusable pads in their PSHE lesson.

MrsFrTedCrilly Mon 01-Jul-19 23:58:53

With periods I stick to the facts and talk quite candidly about leaks, difference in flow and the practicalities of menstruating. Any questions that the dc have we answer factually and honestly.
Definitely discuss everything with my sister apart from money, that conversation is really only for whoever is affected by it.
I think these days money is much more of a taboo subject to discuss!

ShowerOfShite Tue 02-Jul-19 06:31:41

Growing up anything to do with periods was spoken about in hushed tones, far away from the sensitive ears of men.
I wasn't allowed to keep sanitary products in the bathroom. I hated being made to feel ashamed.
My own DC have grown up knowing all about their bodies and both feel comfortable talking with me about any subject.

RadishesAndLentils Tue 02-Jul-19 06:45:24

One of the first things my mum told me after I started my periods was that it was something we don't talk about.

I think attitudes have changed a lot. My daughter and I have always talked openly about it. I hope there's a lot less shame these days.

Period stain on the back of one's skirt for example? Annoying and inconvenient, yes. Shameful, no.

OrdinarySnowflake Tue 02-Jul-19 07:25:53

I think periods are less of a taboo subject than they were when I was growing up, which is good, and hopefully help more girls feel comfortable with their own bodies.

I'm not at the menopause stage yet, but I have noticed for the last 10 years or so, woman being more open to discuss it, that it's not seen as a shameful thing to be going through.

NeverTwerkNaked Tue 02-Jul-19 07:53:29

I am trying to be a lot more open and relaxed about talking about periods and sex and puberty than my parents were with me. I want my children to feel able to talk about it so they are more able to have those conversations themselves and to have discussions about contraception etc.

I find that once one person has broken a taboo people feel much more comfortable discussing it. Certainly that seems true of mental health issues etc.

clopper Tue 02-Jul-19 08:22:49

I have continence issues but feel uncomfortable discussing that with anyone, however I have always discussed periods with my daughters. My mother never mentioned periods to me at all, or the menopause or even anything about childbirth which I have always found strange.
Maybe it’s a generational thing. I remember feeling really shocked when first seeing sanitary wear advertised on tv ( I am old!).

WowOoo Tue 02-Jul-19 09:25:20

I've spoken to my boys about periods as and when their questions arose. They know what they are, they know what my pads and mooncup is for. They have both said that it sucks for them to hurt. They know sometimes I need my beanbag to ease cramps.

I can talk to my friends openly about anything really. Nothing is taboo - especially after a few glasses of wine.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius Tue 02-Jul-19 09:32:12

I forgot to answer some of the questions - like @clopper, I feel very uncomfortable discussing my continence issues - even telling you all on here, anonymously, is pretty scary.

I only had boys - all adults now - and if I am honest, I didn't discuss periods with them - not out of embarrassment (theirs or mine) but because it never came up - I suspect it might be a bit late now they are all in their twenties, and two of them have girlfriends.

MaggieMagpie357 Tue 02-Jul-19 11:29:51

My mum was never good at discussing anything personal while I was growing up, so I decided early on to be much more open with both my daughters about it. They are now 10 and 12 (12yo has adhd and possibly ASD, as yet undiagnosed) which concerned me as I was really unsure how she would cope with having periods. We bought her a book about puberty just before she turned 10 and just let her refer to it as and when she wanted to (she prefers it that way!) School were also really good at explaining what was happening to their growing bodies and as a result, when she got her first period just before she turned 12, she was v calm about it and has shocked us all by coping with it really well! I would love to invest in some Modibodi underwear for her as she sometimes struggles with pads due to poor fine motor skills, and I'm also acutely aware of how bad they are for the environment.

cannotmakemymindup Tue 02-Jul-19 12:12:25

I am trying to make sure Periods are not taboo in our house as my daughter grows up. So I talk very openly about it especially as she notices as she comes in the bathroom. Also make sure I tell my husband about periods etc as whilst I have no intention of going anywhere, I want to make sure he is just as comfortable talking about periods and knows as much as possible for daughter.
Always keep it age appropriate of course for her.

MsMarvellous Tue 02-Jul-19 12:44:09

I don't make a big deal out of the subject of periods but both my kids, male and female, know what they are and how they work in an age appropriate way. I've never hidden that I have a period from them and have answered any question honestly. I apply the same logic to conversations about sex, biology, social
Issues and death. Allow questions and answer honestly and appropriately.

TheHopefulTraveller Tue 02-Jul-19 12:48:25

I never really understand why some topics are considered taboo, especially within families. Why would you want to share your life and your home - even your bed - with someone you can't talk honestly with? I haven't got a daughter but my sons have known about periods forever. They'd forbear from watching me change a tampon anymore, but as toddlers they were very interested in the mechanics of it all. I have heavy periods and there would have been no hiding it all even if I'd wanted to anyway.

Now I'm the age where the menopause is just around the corner, I find most women are happy to talk about that too - my mother-in-law told us all about her menopause experience in Pizza Express once, and two friends I introduced to each other at a social thing recently were avidly swapping menopause symptoms within minutes.

Lots of posters have mentioned parents not wanting to talk about this stuff, but I don't think it's a generation thing to regard it as taboo, so much as a 'some people' kind of thing. My mother and mother-in-law are completely unembarrassed, whereas there seem to be even quite young people on Mumsnet who coyly talk about 'Auntie Flow' and 'that time of the month'.

I think leakproof period pants sound fab, btw! - assuming they are leakproof...

blackleggingsandatshirt Tue 02-Jul-19 13:13:47

I spoke to my DS school to see when/if this subject would be discussed, as I want him to be aware of puberty, body changes and have empathy with girls/young women. I was told that it would be year 6, which I thought was just about the right age. I told him about periods - he already knew, and was quite matter of fact about it (an older neighbour who he is close to told him) So I was a bit too late. Looking back I am so proud that he just accepted this information in a mature way,
I was always embarrassed about having periods - until having my babies - no bodily function is taboo now.

MrsArchchancellorRidcully Tue 02-Jul-19 13:20:46

These look interesting. My daughter is 10 and has known about periods since she was around 6. I started my period at 9 and my parents has told me nothing. I wasn't close to my mum and found it hard to talk to her. Initially I thought I was dying.

When I had my daughter I vowed to be different for her. So we've always talked openly about bodies and where babies come from.

My son is 7 and also knows about periods and that only girls get them but he knows to get his sister chocolate when hers arrive! smile

We've not talked about erections and wet dreams etc yet. I think he's a bit young yet but we will do in a few years.

I'm an accountant do have no issues in talking about finances!!

The one issue I can't talk to anyone about is my body. I'm overweight and there are things I'd love to do but can't. Eg shop in normal women's clothes shops, go on theme park rides. I feel like shit for this but don't know how to talk to anyone.

Dizzywizz Tue 02-Jul-19 13:25:11

I have 2 boys aged 4 & 6 / I have told them about periods but didn’t consider ‘taboo’ subjects like these. I guess if the situation occurs I would.

I will explain the menopause to them when I am in it.

I do sometimes have ‘leakage’ issues - I have a disability- but I do not feel comfortable discussing that with anyone, apart from doctors

pushchairprincess Tue 02-Jul-19 13:34:55

My periods started when I was 9, and it was a horrible experience being at primary school, wearing pads, and being teased for it. I don't want my DD to go through the same. I have spoken to her about it, and made it sound as natural as I can, and not scary, as I feel she may start her periods very soon (she is 9 ATM) and bought some period pants and pads to keep in her room. I have also spoken to her class teacher about what PHSE classes involve periods etc -which have given me peace of mind.
I wear tampons and pads at night along with period pants to give me a good nights sleep without the fear of leaking in the night.
As for money - It's my business - no one else's.
Thanks Mumsnet for bring this subject up for discussion.

clh47 Tue 02-Jul-19 14:03:05

I'm trying to avoid Periods being taboo in our house but my 10yo daughter isn't interested in talking about them. Have bought her a book and keep encouraging her to read it and ask any questions.

I'm also working to stop the menopause being a taboo topic. When I mention it people start talking more quietly, but don't see why I should feel embarrassed about what my hormones are doing to me body.

StinkEye Tue 02-Jul-19 15:51:53

I've always been super open with my young daughters about periods, growing up, developing, our bodies etc but i have really struggled with the birds and the bees chat, as once we start that conversation, there's no going back and it won't take long for my eldest daughter to realise 'hang on a minute, daddy puts his willy in mummy'. So that conversation has been a little more 'clinical'.

EvilHerbivore Tue 02-Jul-19 16:38:16

I am a single parent to 2 boys - there haven't been any terribly awkward conversations, just dribs and drabs as we go along
They've seem sanitary wear in the bathroom so I explained that every month, mummy's tummy gets a 'bed' ready in case a baby grows but if a baby doesn't grow then the body flushes it away and that tampons/pads are needed to stop it going on my pants
They also had to come with me whilst I had my depo injection so again I just explained that I had to have an injection in my bum to make sure we definitely had no more babies in the house, they were very pleased that they were staying as the only two!

backfarblackcar Tue 02-Jul-19 17:22:54

I really don't care about money. I'll talk about what I earn and it doesn't bother me. I realise others feel it's private so don't just talk about it for the sake of it. But private is not really the same as taboo. I don't think money is taboo. Death, sex, periods and other bodily functions can be. I can't even say the word sex around my parents. They were not really open, perhaps they tried but I only ever felt embarrassed which is hard to shake off. I forced myself to use the correct terminology with my daughters for their genitals and it's now just the word we use, and when they've asked 'what's that blood' I've explained it matter of factly. My son is too little yet but I think it's almost more important to be open about female biology and sex for him. What I do struggle with is going swimming with them and suddenly they very loudly like to talk about vulvas and vaginas and hair which makes me squirm!
I also am not so good at talking about death with someone who is grieving because I just know that the wrong thing can be disastrous. Some say they just want people to talk to them. Others don't. I think because it's not a common thing in my life it's hard to be natural and relaxed especially when we all know how difficult the subject is.

Pollywollydolly Tue 02-Jul-19 17:28:28

I have always talked frankly to my children about everything, there are no taboo subjects in our house. As I suffered with heavy, painful periods for many years, my children were always aware when I was menstruating. I wish period pants had been around when I was a teenager.

1969angep Tue 02-Jul-19 19:00:53

Leaky wee is a regular topic at the school gates - we all try and laugh about it but dread it when our kids bring a cough/cold home with them lol

BollockyBagels Tue 02-Jul-19 19:23:16

My daughter is 13 and yet to start her periods. I've chatted with her about them and also given her a book. She seems embarrassed about talking about it but I have reassured her as much as I can without making a big deal about it. Incontinence is much less of a taboo subject than it used to be mainly thanks to so many adverts for associated products at prime time. My friends and I discuss a whole array of taboo topics and have no qualms about it. Nothing is off limits.

kungfupidge Tue 02-Jul-19 19:36:03

i have two sons 5 and 11 and am currently pregnant with my 1st daughter i intend on telling my daughter early about periods etc so she will be prepared, my eldest son recently had a puberty talk at school and asked me about women's periods i told him about them and he said i'm so glad im not a girl lol i feel its important for both girls and boys to be knowledgeable about these things.

fishnships Tue 02-Jul-19 20:14:51

It is much easier talking about periods that when I was young, This is helped by advertising in newspapers and magazines and because sanitary products are now more readily available. I do cringe a bit when they are advertised on TV, though!

Cismyfatarse Tue 02-Jul-19 20:28:13

I am by nature a very frank and open person so no topic is off limits except I refused to tell my then 8 year old daughter how often her Dad and I "did sex." I told her that was private.

We discussed periods, why I no longer got them (coil) and my son was involved too. He finds women a bit yucky still - he is a gay man - but he knows what he needs to know to ensure he is a good friend and understanding colleague, boss or brother.

Both know about my struggles with incontinence post menopause and are both sympathetic. It helps that their Dad is a scientist so explains everything in great detail. They don't embarrass easily as a result.

They know about family struggles with miscarriage and infertility and are aware of the problems of the female (and male) body.

I hope we have done enough. Time will tell.

LolaHola Tue 02-Jul-19 21:07:03

I never had a problem talking to my parents about anything when growing up. In later life we don't have problems discussing death, funerals or similar. When I hear of those families that do I feel so sorry for them. Any site like your that helps those to overcome this can only be good.

kennythekangaroo Tue 02-Jul-19 22:14:48

DD hasn't started her periods yet but we have had quite a few discussions about them and options she has. It seems much more open to discussion than when I was that age.

JustSeven Tue 02-Jul-19 22:22:53

We’re very much an open family, nothing is taboo here. My own mother was very private and never discussed things like periods or body issues. I intend to be much more open and approachable with my own children.

Fluandseptember Tue 02-Jul-19 22:27:55

How would you talk to your daughter about her period? Or educate your son on what happens to women during menstruation?

Not quite at periods yet, but they won't be far off. I have a middle daughter and an older and younger son so it's a bit of a conundrum, esp as girl is way ahead of elder brother w puberty. I've talked to them at teatime about it, just as part of ordinary conversation; unpacked washable sanpro w them all (some for her, as preparation); I also talk to her on her own.

Are continence or ‘leak’ issues something you feel like you can’t mention, or are there topics that you’d be too embarrassed to speak about outside of a doctors office?

Continence IS a taboo for me - aside from post partum. Not something I've talked to the kids about.

Do you find it difficult to talk about money with others, out of fear they’ll feel judged, or that they’ll judge you?

Depends what, and with whom. I think it's a sensitive subject, especially when people have totally different amounts.

Perhaps there’s some people in your life you’d talk about anything with, regardless of how taboo the topic?

Yes, a couple of friends - the ones I've had my children alongside. Sharing the baby days is an extraordinary bond.

kateandme Tue 02-Jul-19 22:47:31

How would you talk to your daughter about her period?be open.it shouldnt be an issue "to be talked about" it makes it become a thing.of course it will need conversations but if they are aware of it as just being part of them then it should ease into it much more.
my mum was alaways open with us.we saw her products in the bathroom and were with her when she bought them when we were little.so i cant remember not just knowing.my sister suffered with very nasty ones too we had to be aware!
id like my daughter to know she can come to me at any moment.and so talk to her let her know we can go buy whatever she needs.the options of what she ight want to use.if she feels unwell at school etc.help her be imformed as it can be a really uncomfortable and ceetainly confusing time.
Or educate your son on what happens to women during menstruation?they would be told.to make sure they are respectful of girls they know.at school etc.and so it too to them isnt a thing.
Are continence or ‘leak’ issues something you feel like you can’t mention, or are there topics that you’d be too embarrassed to speak about outside of a doctors office?i wouldnt say im cloed to it,but neither am i open about it.
Do you find it difficult to talk about money with others, out of fear they’ll feel judged, or that they’ll judge you?yes deff.its such a trciky subject especially at the oment.i deff would not judge others and ouldnt always be there for somebody if they need to talk about money problems be them wealthy or poor.everyone can struggle.everyone can have whatever limitations or budget its all relative.
Perhaps there’s some people in your life you’d talk about anything with, regardless of how taboo the topic?my mum and brother are two people i could discuss the world with.

Cataline Tue 02-Jul-19 23:06:32

I'm pretty open, not easily embarrassed and have healthy, close relationships with my husband, mum, sisters, kids, friends etc.

There's not much I'd shy away from discussing but after recently experiencing incontinence for the first time, it struck me that I'd absolutely not bring that up with anyone except my GP.

It seems that incontinence is my hard limit!

rackhampearl Wed 03-Jul-19 00:33:19

I have two girls aged 7 and 4. I have never hidden my periods from them. Any Mother will know how your little loves burst in on you while you're trying to pee/poo/shower. We have spoken about it and they know what to expect and they know why it happens. Both my Daughters are comfortable talking about how a body changes in many ways and that it's a wonderful and natural way of life.

sharond101 Wed 03-Jul-19 00:36:18

I have health concerns which make me feel self conscious and I find it difficult to talk about. Being honest seems the best way.

ElectricLions Wed 03-Jul-19 10:44:45

My own Mum never talked to me about periods, I started, told my older sister who was less than kind about it, was given a pack of pads. No explanation, no discussion. I asked my Mum how often I should change it, as often as you feel was the reply. Geez thanks for nothing.

I have endometriosis so from a young age my two sons knew about period pain, that Mummy liked chocolate and gentle hugs and cups of tea.

My sons are 16 and 13, totally un-phased by periods, talk of periods, there are no euphemisms - I am on my period. They have helped attached TENs machine pads to my back, ran baths for me, brought me endless cups of tea, made food for me and know where Dh keeps the emergency stash of chocolate for me. They also see the effect of codeine on me (space cadet.) They are aware that I am the extreme, that some women experience little blood loss and no pain.

They know about incontinence leakage because I am lucky enough not to experience it, they have heard me and my sister (yes the one above who is lovely now) talk about being on a trampoline and my sister talking about Tena lady.

My sons had reusable nappies, I have reusable san pro, a menstrual cup and reusable make up pads. I have yet to try period pants.

My children know they can talk to me about anything and I will answer any questions, but I will not talk to them about sex between me and my Dh - their Dad. So I will talk about sexual acts but not whether Dh and I do that or not.

We have talked about consent both just putting your hands on someone to play fight as well as if you should comfort someone with a hand on an arm etc and also sexual consent.

The only topic taboo I suppose is money, not money itself or spending etc just what Dh earns, I am a SAHM. They know what money we each earned after we graduated university but that is it.

KatyMac Wed 03-Jul-19 10:50:30

I talk openly about pregnancy related inconteinance, menopause, periods and a variety of subjects

By keeping 'women's issues' private we are contributing to the idea that they are less important than mens issues - the NHS certainly seems to think so - how many threads discuss debilitation periods etc and have "the doctor/nurse said to live with it/put up with it" reported

Jux Wed 03-Jul-19 11:56:38

DD is 19. I never hid periods from her; she'd follow me to the loo from the moment she was mobile, questions started at around 2.5yrs, answered age apropriately. Her own periods started quite early, by then she knew a great deal about them anyway.

Her problem was that I didn't know about all the new products available!

Sleepybumble Wed 03-Jul-19 12:13:59

I can't remember having a period chat with my mum, she's always just discussed it naturally. When dd asks anything I hope I can be as open as mum was with me. I was never embarrassed to ask about periods, puberty, etc.

notmylittleangel Wed 03-Jul-19 12:55:36

Mum wasn't the best at talking about periods, she couldn't remember how old she was when she started etc.

I have never hidden my periods from my girls. when they were little the conversation was around how it was okay and I wasn't hurt but my body was telling me I wasn't growing another baby.
We used the usborne what's happening to me book to open further conversation as they grew.
They can see my selection of sanitary wear In The bathroom traditional disposable pad and tampons, moon cups and washable pads

SellFridges Wed 03-Jul-19 14:54:49

My mum never hid anything but I also remember being scared to ask for tampons/pads.

I never hid anything, but until recently DD (8) didn’t ask any questions. Recently she did, and now she’s basically an expert! We’ve used the What’s Happening to Me book and would recommend.

I’ve become evangelical about the period pants so she’s aware they’re an option.

jackparlabane Wed 03-Jul-19 16:48:20

My parents weren't good at discussing anything to do with bodies - thank goodness a book triggered me to ask what periods were when I was 10. I've always discussed such things with friends - at boarding school periods and money were probably the main topics! Now I think online chat has helped and my friends talk about periods a lot (not money, so much).

Dcs know about periods from me but I try to hide the worst symptoms as I've read that being scared of periods can make symptoms worse, and don't want to scare her that passing out and clots and disabling pain are inevitable - thankfully mine are much more manageable in my 40s.

I use a cup but pants would be an easier option. How do you know when they need changing, though? Presumably eventually they would leak?

dadshere Wed 03-Jul-19 18:26:39

DH has literally no boundaries, there is no taboo topics for him, so I have had to educate him in what he can and cannot say, particularly to my parents. Luckily dd is too young to worry about periods, yet, but DH will probably give her a talk before speaking to me, and then I will go and fix it.

Jaomi Wed 03-Jul-19 18:27:31

I don't really have taboos. With family and friends (and medical professions) I will openly and honestly talk about anything. I feel like it is important to normalise periods and other bodily functions so that our next generations don't end up with the same hang-ups as previous generations. It's all biology, it's natural and it is never something to be ashamed of so why make it awkward? same goes for incontinence and other medical issues.
I'm currently first trimester pregnant with my very first so I'm still learning lots of things and looking forward to the journey. I plan on being as taboo-free with my crotch fruit as possible. I'm already an aunt a few times over and I am generally the one the kids come to for answers to questions other people try to avoid. I've talked about everything with them, wet dreams, death, sex and disability, etc etc. Nothing should be off-limits. Sometimes it is more preferable to be impersonal and fact-based but I do try my best to answer anything.

StickChildNumberTwo Wed 03-Jul-19 19:13:37

Nosy children who won't let me go to the toilet alone = conversations about periods, which is a good thing because I come from a family that's rubbish at all these conversations!

lillypopdaisyduke Wed 03-Jul-19 19:30:57

How would you talk to your daughter about her period?

When she is 8 or 9 depending of how emotionally ready she is at that time.

Or educate your son on what happens to women during menstruation?

As boys are not as emotionally ready for this information I feel around 11 - it would again depend on circumstances - they may well find our from other sources, If that is the case I will answer any questions as honestly as possible.

Are continence or ‘leak’ issues something you feel like you can’t mention, or are there topics that you’d be too embarrassed to speak about outside of a doctors office?

Leak issues really bothered me on day 2 and 3 of my flow super-max tampon and a pad was often not enough - Modibodi has made me feel more secure - especially at work when I cannot rush to the loo.

Do you find it difficult to talk about money with others, out of fear they’ll feel judged, or that they’ll judge you? Perhaps there’s some people in your life you’d talk about anything with, regardless of how taboo the topic?

I will only discuss money with my OH - it is our private business.

ThreeTimesMama Wed 03-Jul-19 19:59:11

I have daughter and two sons and I am trying to be open with them about everything. I never hide when I have periods. My daughter at the age when periods starts and we talk about it many times and she feels very free to talk about it. I gave her pad and change of underwear in small cosmetic bag to put in her school bag for emergency, but she said if something she can go and speak with any teacher at school and ask for help. I want my sons to know what is happening with women bodys so they can support their wife's in any situation. My husband is my best friend and I can talk to him about everything.

allthingsred Wed 03-Jul-19 21:00:19

It wasn't an easy conversation. I had no idea how to even bring it up. But as my eldest got closer to puberty just had to swallow my pride & do it.
We are now really open, every girl gets a second period, leaks etc are a part of it.
There's san pro in our bathroom not hidden away & my son knows all about it.
His older sister as told him once a month he has to buy her chocolate!

HouseOfToys Wed 03-Jul-19 21:26:03

My 4 year old daughter watches me while I sort out my period. I just tell her that my bum is bleeding and grown up women get it sometimes.

I intend to be as open as possible while still being age appropriate.

With my close friends I am an over sharer. Nothing is out of bounds.

Due to lack of real face time due to busy lives we audio message a lot.
Those messages are 100% not safe for work!

Beach11 Wed 03-Jul-19 21:28:58

I think it’s important to talk to children about periods and the menopause. I teach in a secondary school and it is shocking how little both female and male pupils are taught at home about periods and the menopause. They don’t feel comfortable asking questions at home but at least ask at school

1moreRep Wed 03-Jul-19 22:05:24

we're just really factual, open and honest. i talk about my periods / pmt so they know it's normal

UpToTheRigs Wed 03-Jul-19 22:24:15

My kids have learned about periods from observing stuff around the house and asking questions from a young age. For instance: why is there blood in the toilet? What is this bin for? Often these questions get asked in the most public situations, eg loudly in a public toilet.

PenguinsCantFly Wed 03-Jul-19 22:47:37

Over the last 4 years I've had a medical issue that was embarrassing to talk about (perianal abscess and then subsequent complications).

At first I used to gloss over it and dodge the questions. But then I just got tired of it all.

So now, when people ask what is wrong with me when I'm having a flare up I just tell them!

theworldistoosmall Thu 04-Jul-19 09:23:58

I’m very open with people. My kids have known about periods and sex from a very early age including the boys.
As they’ve grown finances, pregnancy, abuse, health issues, wet dreams and drugs etc have been openly discussed.
Nothing is taboo and as a result they now come to me about everything as do some of their friends. I would rather my kids come and ask questions rather than rely on dodgy info from their peers.

With friends we talk about all sorts as well.

As parents I believe that we should discuss things with them to educate them. If they don’t get the info from us, including the use of proper names for body parts, then who can they get it from?

TillyTheTiger Thu 04-Jul-19 10:02:39

My Mum was (and still is!) excruciatingly embarrassed by discussion of any taboo topic, she can't even bring herself to say the word 'tampons' so we had a very vague euphemism for them when I was a teen, and I'd never dream of discussing sex with h

TillyTheTiger Thu 04-Jul-19 10:10:53

Sorry - 3yo jumped on my phone and posted for me too soon!
I'm trying to be as open as possible with DS, we've had factual age-appropriate chats about periods (as he found my mooncup and wanted to play with it in the bath grin). He's also familiar with the correct anatomical terms too, although I admit inwardly cringing when using the word 'vulva'. I've also very briefly discussed the NPSCC pants rule, along with saying he doesn't have to hug or kiss someone if he doesn't want to.
As for other taboo topics, I've joked about incontinence with other mothers (especially the ones I play team sport with) but I don't think I could talk to anyone else about it. I don't find finance taboo as such, I'm fairly open about it if the topic comes up.

Stresshead123 Thu 04-Jul-19 11:11:58

Annoyed my order arrived & it's wrong

CollaterlyS1sters Thu 04-Jul-19 13:10:07

I have a son and a daughter of primary school age. I've always been open about my periods without going into too much detail - so they know what tampons are for (approximately!) and they know that sometimes I have period pains, and that most women and girls bleed sometimes and it's to do with having a baby.

I haven't gone into more detail than that because it's unnecessary and they are not currently that interested.

My daughter is a year or two off starting puberty so I am gradually introducing her to more information so it's not a shock.

Incontinence has not been an issue for me personally but I would like to think that I would speak to them in the same way about it, so being open and honest without going into unnecessary detail.

llynnnn Thu 04-Jul-19 13:42:01

When I was growing up no one spoke about periods, just the odd science lesson about growing up and that was it. as a result, I experienced leaks and stains etc as I was too embarrassed to ask anyone for more sanitary products.
I have always decided to be much more open with my dd's as I never want them to fear periods, I have made them the normal thing that they are, dd's friends are much more open nowadays too, so hopefullt the taboo in this area is decreasing now

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