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Mumsnet users tell Dove how they introduce a self-care routine to teenagers

(258 Posts)
EllieMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 19-Oct-18 08:59:23

NOW CLOSED

Before puberty hits, body odour isn't really a thing - ah remember the joy of rarely washing hair, not thinking about the comparative benefits of soap and bodywash, and being utterly ignorant of the verb 'to exfoliate'? - but all too soon that comes to an end. Trying to introduce a self-care routine for the first time to your children can be a tricky subject to navigate, which is why Dove would love to know your experiences and tips for how to have the conversation with your teenagers and how you went about picking products for them e.g. deodorant.

Here’s what Dove has to say: “At Dove we know that you want to give the best support to your teenagers as they go through the emotional, physical and hormonal changes of puberty. It can be a sensitive time and your relationship with them goes through changes too. They still need their parents’ care – just a different kind of care to when they were younger, one that spans both practical help and emotional support. We are interested in hearing how you approach conversations about introducing a self-care routine with your teenagers, especially when it comes to deodorants and body odour.”

Did you have conversations with your DC as and when body and hormonal changes were occuring? Perhaps you did a lot of research into trying to find the right products for your child to use? If you found any great products, such as the perfect deodorant, please do share them! What age was your child when you first started to have conversations about self-care with them? How did you bring it up?

However you introduced a self-care routine to your DC and whatever products you bought/used, share them on the thread below and you’ll be entered into a prize draw where one winner will win a £300 voucher of their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck!
MNHQ

Standard Insight T&Cs Apply

mishknight Thu 25-Oct-18 22:11:17

Try to encourage my DD to use simple, non-perfumed products as she has quite sensitive skin.

TellMeItsNotTrue Thu 25-Oct-18 22:40:31

Not reached teens yet but plan to go about it the same way my parents did with me and my sisters, make it a positive thing and talk about them growing up and take them to shops and let them try all the different scents, talk about the difference between a body spray and deodorant etc so they know when to use them, buy whatever takes their fancy and then go for lunch just the two of us

I remember feeling really grown up and excited to be using these new things because of the positive spin put on it

badgermum Fri 26-Oct-18 08:58:32

As my son hit 13 he needed to start a better self care routine, I had concerns about the type of deodorant he should use and did a lot of research about the pros and cons of the ingredients and weather a spray, roll on or stick deodorant would be best for him. In the end we went with a natural stick deodorant, but i do have to keep reminding him to use it, hopefully eventually it will become the norm for him.

AndreaF13 Fri 26-Oct-18 12:39:53

Buy nice toiletries for them to use making sure they are suitable if they are prone to acne. I started quite young so they do it automatically by the time they reach teenage years.

Leeds2 Fri 26-Oct-18 13:23:41

I think it is a gradual process, with certain things becoming necessary but not all at the same time. So, things like using a deodorant when you notice they need it - get them to choose one they like the look of. Introduce more frequent showers/baths, and hair washes - again, get them to choose their product as they are far more likely to use it.

daisyduke66 Fri 26-Oct-18 15:21:32

Generally came naturally - made sure the bathroom well stocked with good, natural products and made plenty of suggestions as to good products to use and what did what for good skin, body and hair etc. - they made their own way deciding what they did/didn't like and all was well smile

slithytove Fri 26-Oct-18 18:36:45

We don’t have teenagers yet but are prepping for it. They are 4 and 5 and both wash themselves under supervision, and understand which areas need more care. They also understand what deodorant is and use mine on occasion (roll on) so we can hopefully buy them their own when the time comes.

flowersanam Sat 27-Oct-18 00:01:23

My children are told to always wash hands and faces and to be clean and fresh

parris Sat 27-Oct-18 08:44:40

I found that age 10 or so it was always a battle to get them to wash. Then all of a sudden some teenage switch goes off and you can’t get them out of the bathroom! I just shared my own products, bought some teenage skin facial products and just bought extra of my own deodorant brand.

pinkjjf27 Sat 27-Oct-18 14:16:26

Mine aren’t old enough but hygiene is an ethos from birth like it was when I was a child. Bathing and brushing teeth is part of routine and not a chore. I used sensitive but nice smelly products. I encourage handwashing and explain about germs and bacteria. When I was younger my mum put deodorants, soap and shower gels and smelly stuff in our Christmas stocking so It was natural. My mum was always clean and smelt lovely so It was just part of who we are I never actually had a conversation with her about it. If its part of your socialisation process it just becomes the norm.

FrankEinsteinsAnguishedSouls Sat 27-Oct-18 14:51:17

Never had a discussion as such, just always tried to instill good hygiene habits from an early age.

Angiemum24 Sat 27-Oct-18 17:55:46

As my daughter started showing signs of puberty we started to discuss the importance of washing regularly to prevent spots and BO. We went shopping testing deroderent until she found one she liked.
I believe finding one she like would encourage her to use it regularly than one I just bought her without her knowledge.

When she started her periods I gave her a pack I made up of pads, period pants and information. We talked about her worries and now she is very confident in her personal hygiene.

OneStepMoreFun Sat 27-Oct-18 18:36:26

The best way to do it is to start an unshakeable routine before they hit puberty. Bath or shower every night; hair wash every other night, teeth cleaned morning and night, hands always washed after using the loo and before eating; clean clothes daily and cleaning bedding weekly.

Put 'grown up' wash bags full of deo and shower gel etc in their Christmas stockings before they actually hit puberty. Both my DC were really interested in all the kit that came with growing up - razors and deodorant spray, facial cleansers etc, before they needed it.

That way, when they start smelling, you just have to remind them of their existing routine, not instigate a new one.

buckley1983 Sat 27-Oct-18 22:42:37

One of the great things about school these days is that lots of information is offered to children around taking care of their bodies & this includes things like personal care.
Taking care of ourselves make us feel good & improves our confidence - this is a conversation I have with my son now (although at 5, it's going to be a while before he needs deodorant!)
When I was younger - I remember pinching my mum's pink Mum roll-on deodorant - so I'll probably just leave some good quality deodorant around the house & if I don't start to smell it being used - I'll sensitively initiate some conversation around personal care smile

Justbackfromnewwine Sun 28-Oct-18 00:10:57

My oldest child is 10 and not keen on washing at the moment, but she seems to still get away with it though and doesn’t get whiffy or greasy hair. But I know it won’t be long! I’m trying to encourage her towards being independent with showering rather than baths and she likes using my dove silky glow shower gel which has a really lovely distinctive scent. I would consider a gentle first deodorant perhaps like dove

michael888 Sun 28-Oct-18 03:10:21

Just teach them from a young age to take pride in their appearance, and that includes hygiene. No criticisms, no lecturing, just nurturing. They're more than able to take it from there.

Floralnomad Sun 28-Oct-18 14:34:08

We never had to have this type of conversation as both of my dc were naturally people who showered / bathed very regularly and kept them selves clean . As they got older they just told me / came shopping and chose which products they wanted . Dd in particular has to have gf products ( coeliac) and ds was always very picky about what he will use .

Bumblebeans Sun 28-Oct-18 20:36:14

I think being open about my own routine will help my daughter adjust to having her own routine. It's just a part of life, nothing to be embarrassed about

Nicole1709 Sun 28-Oct-18 21:54:25

Just have an honest and open talk about how important it is to be hygienic and to keep up with daily cleanliness.

Tiggy321 Mon 29-Oct-18 08:23:45

Just encourage daily showering, no special products, just ones that are gentle on skin. Politely remind them to wear deodorant and to put clothes in the wash as my teens have tendency to wear a t shirt for several days when it clearly is a bit wiffy under the armpit area! Mine are boys, 1 girl just approaching puberty but think she will be v different as v particular already!

FloofyDoof Mon 29-Oct-18 09:41:52

I definitely discussed hygiene, and the need for a good antiperspirant-deodorant and more frequent showers as part of talking about puberty with them. I then started buying them a few things to, and they'd tell me what they liked, and we'd try other new things, until they had both worked out what products they were happiest with.

poppy1973 Mon 29-Oct-18 15:21:39

My eldest has always washed every evening, so that was never a problem. Recently introduced him to simple face wash and ensure that he uses this on a regular basis to help spots etc. Since he started secondary we introduced him to using a deodrant, which he uses on a daily basis.

devito92 Mon 29-Oct-18 16:28:14

my DS approached me regarding health products. I let him decide what he preferred to use

AngelDog Mon 29-Oct-18 17:26:46

My own children aren't old enough yet, but when I was teaching Year 6 we had to take one of the girls aside and talk to her about showering more often, washing under her arms and using deodorant. The other children had been making unpleasant comments about her BO, which was definitely a problem. She was probably the most physically mature of all our pupils, so others weren't quite at that stage yet. My colleague and I were a bit nervous about it, but just bit the bullet and talked to her. At the next parents' evening, her mother almost cried with gratitude to us because she'd been trying to tell her daughter about it, but her daughter wouldn't take any notice. Once we teachers talked to her, she immediately realised it was a real problem, and started washing and using deodorant. They were so thankful!

alwaysinleggings Mon 29-Oct-18 17:51:05

I am not sure you will need to 'introduce' it, as a healthy self care routine is part of a child's every day life from bathing regularly, brushing teeth, and nail cutting, I feel it should just be a natural progression and there should be no big deal about deodorant, only if you feel you should say anything, you should - before anyone at school does.

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