Mumsnet users talk online safety and cyberbullying with Kaspersky

[JustineBMumsnet]

NOW CLOSED

Many children are now growing up with technology at their fingertips and social media often at the centre of their digital world, making it more important than ever to discuss online safety with children and be aware of the effects of cyberbullying. Kaspersky would like to hear about the ways you protect your children from bullying when they’re online.

Here’s what Kaspersky has to say: “Do you really know what your kids do online? Can you be sure they’re safe when connected? Kaspersky gives you new and better ways to keep your kids safe on PC, Mac and Mobile."

Do you have tips for talking about cyberbullying with your children? Do you utilise parental control technology so you know what’s going on in their digital world? If your child has experienced cyberbullying, what advice do you have for other parents?

Whatever your tips or experience, share this below to be entered into a prize draw where one Mumsnetter will win a £300 voucher for the store of their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck!

MNHQ

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[Angiemum23]

I have spoken to my children about cyber bulling. It's a very dangerous thing, when I was a child I was bullied very badly but as soon as I was home it stopped, not today.
When my children return home they are on the computers and their phones a beeping before we even put the key in the lock.
I feel we really need to focus on this in school and the government invest some money into preventing this crime.

[OnlyToWin]

We’ve talked lots and lots from a very young age about being able to talk to us about anything that is worrying them. We also talked to them when they got older about being safe online and tbh the school were very good at playing their part in this too. Some of the videos shown in school about online security etc. really hit home and encouraged them to take safe internet use seriously. They both have Instagram, but use sensibly and sparingly. They don’t participate in group chats with anyone other than close friends as these tend to be where the unkind comments/bad language occur. They are (so far) very good at showing me inappropriate content and we are able to chat about it openly. I don’t overreact to what they show me, even if it really shocks/saddens me as I want to keep the lines of communication open.

[OnTheDarkSideOfTheSpoon]

Kaspersky is not what I would use to keep my family safe online

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-42202191

www.nytimes.com/2017/10/10/technology/kaspersky-lab-israel-russia-hacking.html

[Beach11]

I would talk to them about cyber safety and the would be a no devices policy in their bedrooms and devices would be handed over at bed time

[Headfullofdreams]

My DS was cyberbullied by a class mate in y6. The school were brilliant in dealing with it once I told them. I'd always tell my children to confide in me/an adult if they are being cyber bullied as adults can deal with these things better.

[arolam]

I try to ensure there is no sense of dependence on devices like computers and phones to start with. They don't need to be used constantly and they're not essentials (they don't need them for work or anything!). I don't want my kids to feel like technology/social media has any power over them. They are in control and can block/shut down/report or whatever. I am a confident and reasonably knowledgable user myself so would always sort my own security out and put locks and limits in anyway. Kaspersky is not a brand I've ever considered though. Sometimes things like that feel like the proverbial bolted horse shut gate. The checks and safeguards should be in place with regards to how we view and use technology ourselves before we expect our children to understand. Sticking in passwords and age restrictions won't change that. But for now I guess it's all we have until education catches up and attitudes to how we behave online grow. Anonymity brings out the absolute worst in some people.

[TheWizardofWas]

The DC hear a lot about cyberbullying at school - too much maybe. They roll their eyes when I bring it up - but we do talk about cases we hear of or stuff we read about in the newspaper. They seem to have a good sense of it. The older DD, 13, is not into social media and all that, so we have not really had to confront anything (yet).

[HugAndRoll]

I have spoken to my children about cyberbullying, although they don't entirely understand (both have communication difficulties.) I've explained that some people aren't very nice online, and I've also explained that some adults pretend to be children on games like Roblox so they can be horrible to them.

I use Norton Family to help protect and monitor them. I have strict parental controls (including time management), have banned them from playing Roblox in their rooms (they can play on my computer in the dining room where I can keep an eye on what's going on) and have restricted access to a lot of websites. I get a report through weekly showing me what websites they've visited, how long they've been on their computers for, and what banned sites they've tried to visit.

Unfortunately, Norton doesn't monitor Edge because Microsoft are monopolisers. Therefore I encourage them to use Chrome, but have Microsoft Family running as a backup.

[RandomUsers]

My DCs are slowly getting into the phase of watching youtube etc.
I put parental controls on the devices themselves, so they are not able to watch content not suitable for their ages.
Like other PPs, they get cyber-bulling information from school. I just re-iterate it by asking what they would do in certain circumstances.
We have some websites blocked on our devices so the DCs can't access it.

[MargoLovebutter]

Keep the lines of communication with your DC open. Don't just ban stuff but talk about being safe online. Make sure they understand that things they post can be screen shotted and kept forever. If their granny or head teacher wouldn't like it, chances are they shouldn't be posting it.

Have the PC or laptop in the kitchen or living room when they are young, so you can always see what they are doing.

Talk about the stories that they hear about other people doing stupid stuff online and get them to figure out what went wrong, why whoever shouldn't have done what they did etc.

Go to all the school online safety talks and then have a chat about it when they come home.

[Gazelda]

No tech in the bedrooms. We have parental controls on DD's tablet.
School seem to very good at covering the topic regularly and communicating with parents.
Other than that, I'm quite nervous on the subject. DD will be going to secondary school next year, so will have a phone.
I'm aware I need to read up and be ahead of the game as much as possible. It's a minefield!

[Bumblebeans]

I would encourage openess with my children. I encourage them to come to us with any problems they have, to be confident in our relationship to come to us for anything. I will also hope that they will concider their actions and how those affect others.

[NeverTwerkNaked]

I’m worried about it. I try to have an open relationship with my children, and I do limit screen time fairly heavily, but as they get older that is much harder to monitor.
DP is highly trained on internet security etc (through work) and even he has been caught out and found that DSD had been sent some really nasty messages on program where he thought only a couple of her friends could contact her. No one should be complacent about it.

I expect a mix of technological (apps etc) and non technological measures (education, communication, supervision) are needed to minimise risk, but I think we also have to assume it is always there. Like others, I was picked on at school but home was a sanctuary.

[asuwere]

I have parental controls on any devices in the house (including mine!). We have discussed online safety the same way as road safety - they get more details and they know it's more important to be careful the more independent they get.
We don't allow online devices in bedrooms and we don't use social media anyway. We are pretty open and I hope my DC would discuss any issues with me if/when they arise.

[ThenBellaDidSomethingVeryKind]

I have parental controls, and have made it a rule that I have access to messages, social media accounts etc my dc use so I can monitor these

[voyager50]

At 8 he's too young to take part in any activities online that may make him vulnerable to cyber-bullying - he just plays games but when he's older I will make sure he is aware of the risks and make sure he knows to tell us if he is worried or upset about anything online.

[MakeYourOwnFuckingTea]

I have spoken with my kids regularly about this and other issues surrounding safety online. I tell them never to hide anything from us and that they would never get in trouble for informing us about anything. My daughter was targeted by "friends" at high school. She told us immediately and me and dh were able to deal with it. The school and the parents of the kids involved were great and she's had no further issues. In fact one of the girls came round to apologise in person. Her and dd are now close friends. They both wrote a story about cyber bullying from both perspectives which they read to their year group. We were all so proud.

[ButterflyOfFreedom]

My DC are still quite young but this is something I worry about.
I'd like to think school will teach about cyberbullying etc. And of course as a parent I will.
I'll also put security measures in place on devices and limit use of them.

[lovemyflipflops]

I have told my child to talk to me about ANYTHING which is worrying them, and now games on line are being played and social media is on the horizon for me, I have gone into my parental controls and set everything I need, including no internet to my DC's tablet after 7 pm (I love this facility).

[jacqui5366]

Following the suicide of a child at a school near me, which was attributed to bullying on-line and at school, it made me really think about what I should do to protect my child's on-line activity, which I feel affects their mental as well as physical health. I have a virus software which should protect from certain activities. My DS school held a parents evening to make parents aware of the measures to take to safeguard our children, what measures to take, and they held an assembly (prompted partly by the repercussions of a child taking their life). I do worry about this cyber world, and who is on it, and what their intentions are, I have set a password on my laptop, and don't let it out of my sight when he is playing on-line games, and certainly will not allow any private internet use in bedrooms etc.

[Montydoo]

My tips are:-
set guidelines over use of the internet, what they can and cannot do on-line, and for how long.
talk openly and honestly about what they are doing online and what your concerns are, so they understand why you are setting the guidelines.
Set your ISP's parental controls - so certain topics are banned.
Set your laptop up with accounts for each member of the family, and give a password which you can log into, (and check the history of the browsing if you need).
Finally I have said to my DS if you are unsure about anything or anyone on-line (which includes school and the library) to tell - anytime I am hear to listen.

[Caillou]

I don't let them use any technology using the internet without supervision but then they are still very young for social media.

[purplepandas]

We do use parental controls but mine are still youngish (almost 7 and 9) so don't use the internet without us being there. This is something that really worries me as a parent as I want to strike a balance of promoting safe use of the internet without completely banning it (never good in my opinion, they will use it anyway).

[Theimpossiblegirl]

My girls are older now so use social media and go online a lot. They are fairly savvy but I'm often surprised at how so many adults seem to share all sorts, befriend anyone and have wide open social media profiles. I think parents should be educated as much as children. I know 8 year olds with a better clue about online safety than many adults.
It's also easier to keep an eye on them if you can work your way around a computer yourself. :)

[custardcream1000]

My eldest has just reached the age where he is allowed to go on short walks alone, so I have allowed him to have a mobile.

I've made sure the internet does not automatically connect on the phone so he has to ask me for internet access each time. He has to use the internet downstairs and checks with me before accessing webpages.

He is still too young for social media and has not asked to open any accounts yet, but I do worry about cyber bullying once he reaches the age where he's allowed accounts. The school already provide him with lots of information about online safety, but I discuss it with him too.