Say NO to bullying with Andy Day and his brand new band Andy and the Odd Socks - share your thoughts on dealing with bullies: chance to win £300 NOW CLOSED

(249 Posts)
AnnMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 10-Nov-17 08:12:51

We have been asked to find out about your childs’ experiences of bullying and to hear your tips on dealing with bullies by Andy Day and the Anti Bullying Alliance. Andy is one of the most popular faces on children’s TV as a presenter on Cbeebies.

Andy, with his band ‘Andy and the Odd Socks’, are also patrons of the Anti-Bullying Alliance and next week (13-17 Nov) they will be encouraging primary schools up and down the country to take part in Anti-Bullying Week. It's a cause Andy is very passionate about and is one of the reasons he formed the band. He believes that music is not only great entertainment for children, but is also a great way to inspire them to be accepting of each other and to show everybody is different in their own way.

Andy and the Odd Socks say “we are all about putting across a positive, inclusive fun message via our new song ‘Unique’ which has been chosen by the charity to support their message this year of ‘All Different, All Equal’”.

See below for the video for 'Unique' by Andy and the Odd Socks.

The Anti-Bullying Alliance say “the aim of the campaign is help young children understand that everyone is different and to celebrate that from an early age. The main focus of the week is the introduction of ‘Odd Socks Day’ (the official Odd Socks Day is Monday 13th November (but schools can still take part and hold an Odd Socks Day at any time)), whereby Primary Schools and their pupils are encouraged to wear odd socks for the day to promote individuality, being unique, a sense of self and awareness for the overall aim of the say NO to bullying”.

So Andy and the Alliance would love to hear how you and your child have coped with bullies, any tips on avoiding being bullied and also your experiences and thoughts generally about bullying amongst primary school aged children.

Add your comment below and you will be entered into a prize draw where one person will win a £300 voucher for the store of choice - from a list.

Thanks and good luck

Standard Insight T and Cs Apply

PS If you have any questions about bullying, do join us on Monday 13 November at 11.00am where we will be Live on Facebook Live Andy Day and Lauren Segar-Smith of Kidscape

OP’s posts: |
Morris9 Fri 10-Nov-17 10:38:42

My nearly 8yr old boy has always been a little on the sensitive side compared to other boys his age and I've often worried about bullying. He stumbled accross martial arts at age 4 and has never looked back. Kickboxing gives him something to be proud of, an outlet to vent any frustations, and a friend circle outside of school. It teaches discipline, respect and self control, but above all it boosts his confidence and self esteem. (From a mum's perspective it's also nice to know that he can defend himself physically to some degree if needed). Our 4yr daughter has now just started kickboxing class too and I'm delighted. I cant stop anyone from saying or doing mean things to my children but I can help give them the skills and confidence to deal with it if it happens. We are big Andy and the Odd Socks fans and have used the lyrics of the unique song to help discuss bullying... especially with our 4yr old. We can't enter the odd socks day competition sad but we will be wearing them next week regardless to help raise awareness, no matter how nice your children are i think it's so important to discuss bullying with them and encourage them to be accepting of all others.

sharond101 Fri 10-Nov-17 11:04:19

This is such a difficult subject and Iam keen to learn more. I don't believe in hitting back bit don't know the answer.

Thesqueezermustghost Fri 10-Nov-17 13:36:45

Talk with DC about it,about why it is wrong to bully and why they should speak up to a grown up if they feel bullying is happening. I think they get a lot on it at school. Maybe too much. It is as if it is everywhere but maybe we overemphasize it.

FlukeSkyeRunner Fri 10-Nov-17 14:25:24

So far my kids haven't been bullied. Its a hard one to deal with i imagine. I have taught my children not to respond in kind to bullies but It is very difficult to define what constitutes telling takes and what constitutes asking for help from an adult when being bullied.

EvilDoctorBallerinaRoastDuck Fri 10-Nov-17 14:25:26

I have a different perspective on this. On another thread, it's been pointed out to me that DS2 is bullying DD. I have no idea how to tackle it.

misskatamari Fri 10-Nov-17 15:37:40

I’m lucky that my children are only 2 and 3 so we haven’t had to deal with this yet but I dread them starting school and having issues like this. I hope we can raise them to be confident and secure in themselves so that they can ignore any bullying behaviour, and be kind to others who might be experiencing it


ButterflyOfFreedom Fri 10-Nov-17 17:31:46

One of my DC has recently started school so this topic is very much on my mind. As far as I know he isn't being bullied but sometimes he says things like 'Bob was chasing me and I didn't like it'. I don't even know how I should be responding to that!?! blush
He can be quite sensitive, is shy & quiet, and not as 'boisterous' as some of the other boys and I do worry he may be a target sad
I'll watch this thread with interest.

UpOnDown Fri 10-Nov-17 17:47:46

Having a wide variety of friends helps.

ErinSophia Fri 10-Nov-17 17:54:55

I teach my daughters to be kind to everyone and to always tell a trusted adult if someone is bullying them, I tell them to stay away from bullies and never to hit first.

Halebeke425 Fri 10-Nov-17 18:21:14

Communication! With your child, with the school, with the other parents if necessary. A lot of minor things can be nipped in the bud before it gets serious with good communication

StepAwayFromCake Fri 10-Nov-17 18:21:15

Ironically, my 10yo ds has been bullied at school for wearing 'odd' socks. Not odd as in miss-matching, but odd as in patterned, particularly with patterns that were not stereotypically boys' patterns.

And, in the current build-up to Anti-Bullying Week, while all the local schools are doing Anti-Bullying activities, and highlighting the need to be accepting of others' differences, he has been attacked by an older child from a different school, for being 'a weirdo'.


foxessocks Fri 10-Nov-17 18:34:52

My kids aren't old enough to have faced this issue yet and I really hope they don't as it must be so hard to deal with. I'll be reading with interest. I thinkmaking sure children know to speak out is key but easier said than done.

Theimpossiblegirl Fri 10-Nov-17 19:39:51

I love the song and the message is contains. My children's Primary does a great job of celebrating difference and preventing bullying. We're really lucky that they all seem such nice kids, but if there is an issue it seems to be nipped in the bud, with the potential bully being supported as much as the person on the receiving end, stopping bullying behaviours getting worse.

AWholeLottaRosie Fri 10-Nov-17 20:11:55

We were taught never to start a fight but my mum insisted that if someone hit us we always had to make sure we hit them back. She’d had a very rough childhood and was keen for her children to always be able to stand up for ourselves and basically never show fear. I think she always assumed bullying was purely a physical thing, now I’d be more concerned about bullying via social media.

starlight36 Fri 10-Nov-17 20:33:44

We are going through this with my DD at the moment. Quite a few dominant boys in her class - a bit of physical bullying which was tackled last year but now it has turned to verbal bullying. She is quite sensitive and it is hard for her not to be upset when others gang up on her. They had an assembly today ahead of anti-bullying week and she said she had s much better day today so hopefully a focused anti-bullying week is going to help.

vickyors Fri 10-Nov-17 21:06:03

Communication. We have open chats with our daughter, and we chose a small school where the kids all know each other, and you get to know parents etc. I was very badly bullied when I was six, and two girls broke my fingers. I had been telling my parents, and the school had done very little to support us. In the end, I moved schools and was much much happier. My daughters, I hope and pray they will never experience anything like that, but, I hope I give them tools. Challenge a bully. Tell someone. Never be afraid to tell us. And also, be strong. Each of us is important, unique and valid. Nothing can take that from us.

del2929 Fri 10-Nov-17 22:54:02

i abhor bullies. my children have been on the receiving end of taunts and physical bullying. i took it up with the school straight away and it was dealt with accordingly.

fivekidsonemum Fri 10-Nov-17 23:23:53

It's hard to say what the right thing to do is because on one hand I don't want my children to have to but on the other I don't want them to think they can just go around hitting someone for saying something nasty to them one time, I do tell them to tell me when another child says anything nasty so I can speak to the kids parent and ask them to nip it in the bud. As most parents dread a knock on the door to say their kids a big bully so they normally stop it from happening again. If they don't stop it then my children will retaliate but that's fair enough they've been asked to stop a good few times first !!

BarbiesPinkShoes23 Sat 11-Nov-17 01:40:08

This is of interest to me as my almost 9 yr old DS is experiencing low level bullying in school. He's a quiet boy who is eager to please but a bit quirky and socially awkward at times (possible ASD). The kids seem to do it as they know DS won't retaliate. I get quite angry at times as I feel some kids speak to him like crap and get away with it, yet my DS gets labelled as 'socially inept'.

I think schools should have a strong anti bullying policy and I think 'banter culture' needs to be rethought of as too many bullies use this excuse.

I'm trying to teach my children a few rule of thumbs: firstly, teasing is only funny if both parties find it to be and secondly if someone hits you first then hit them back.

Quietvoiceplease Sat 11-Nov-17 06:30:07

This is a really interesting thread. I have three daughters - two of whom are teenagers - and I am really keen that they know how to deal with this. I am not aware they have been bullied, and I hope (oh, I hope) they have never bullied or teased anyone. Just as importantly, I hope they do not stand and ignore others who behave this way. At their school, there is a culture in which 'saying nothing to poor behaviour is making you part of that poor behaviour), and so the expectation is that pupils speak up about it. But it is difficult, I think, when the usual tactic of a teenage girl is the passive-aggressive 'freezing out' or 'mock concern' which is difficult to navigate and difficult to call out.

Our conversations at home are often around the issue of difference (in a context when many girls want to conform and look the same) and how we respect that. Not just accept it, but welcome it. I think they mostly get it, but I also think the conversation needs to be a regular one.

AtSea1979 Sat 11-Nov-17 08:23:32

Odd socks day, for primary schools to embrace individuality. Except it's the kids who forget and come in school socks that get teased.

I try my best the protect my DC from bullies. DD spoke to the headteacher and things have improved now. The main thing I do though is lots of positive praise and confidence building at home.

PugwallsSummer Sat 11-Nov-17 08:47:21

I think that every person experiences bullying of some kind throughout their life.

I try to support my DD (5) to see situations from others’ point of view and to reframe events that have upset her (she is quite sensitive).

When she had an issue with another child in reception, I suggested ways for her to deal with it herself (“stop. I don’t like that”, “when you said that it made me feel sad” etc). After several incidents, I informed the class teacher who dealt with it well. I have since observed her being assertive with other children which makes me feel proud that she has the courage to stand up for herself, and I hope this continues.

I think it’s important that children can laugh at themselves, and feel confident in their own quirks and uniqueness.

ParadiseCity Sat 11-Nov-17 08:54:12

I aim for my DC to treat others how they'd like to be treated themselves. As far as I know they have never taken part in any bullying but I do worry about getting caught up in stuff/being a silent bystander the older they get.

A lot anti bullying messages seem to be 'everyone is special even though some people are a bit wierd and uncool' which I don't always think is entirely helpful. But don't profess to know the answers.

We are all just people muddling along as best we can in all sorts of relationships aren't we.

asuwere Sat 11-Nov-17 09:49:20

I love the song, have been humming it for past few days smile
My DCs haven't been bullied so far but we do discuss it and I've made it clear not to retaliate but to tell someone about it. After an incident with other children, I've also explained that its important to speak up even if it's not directly effecting you; watching someone else get bullied and doing nothing can be just as bad.
I think it's important to be open about it and not only make sure your DC aren't being bullied but to ensure they're not bullying others.

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