Really sensitive question, advice much appreciated.

[HeatherRuss]

My younger brother is 17 and has severe autism, he can't talk and it is very hard to communicate with him beyond using basic makaton. He was in nappies until he was about 10 so he still remebers them. When we were growing up I can remember him taking an interest, but nothing more, in children wearing nappies and my mum always said to me he just wished he still wore them.

Now that he has hit puberty it is clear he has developed a bit of a sexual obcession with them and I have found on several occasions in my daughters room with her nappies, I wont go into more detail than that.

This problem is manageable for now. He is not allowed upstairs in our house so that he cannot find them and we always change dd in a different room.

However I'm worried that as she gets older and as we have more children that it will become worse and I will have to try to explain it to a child. He has recieved 'counselling' with a behaviourist at school but with no avail.

In the future I have always assumed that I will look after him when my parents become too old but this issue really has me torn so I was just wondering if anyone had any ideas or had seen or knows of any good specialist?

Thanks

[Nats83]

This does sound a difficult situation, it sounds like the issue he has is with the nappies, not anything else, so just keep them far away from him as you are doing.

Maybe if he sees a good therapist - I would ring somewhere like the priory and ask them to recommend someone - then if they find out why he has developed the obsession - it may be he just was used to them like your mum said, saw them as a comfort thing or liked the material? Or maybe as he has autism and isn't expressing his sexual 'needs' with a girlfriend like someone his age would, maybe he's just developed a strange way of expressing it with them. I've probably watched way too much holby city and things like that!

I'm sure a good therapist could help, they must be used to dealing with this sort of thing. There must be behavioral techniques they can teach him to stop him doing it.

Hopefully with more counciling he will grow out of it. Good luck.

[Chatelaine]

It is a daunting prospect to be expected to take on the responsibility of a disabled sibling. Your primary responsibililty is to look after your self and therefore your ability to look after your own young family, they come first, imho.

[SanctiMoanyArse]

It's going to take a lot more than counselling with a beahvioural specialist top break alink that has persisted for a decade I think.

We ahve a psych ehre who specialises in such things and actually, I know that she takes oputside referrals but your own PCT may have such a person- a psych specialising in complex LD. That would be your firstc all I think.

If you're anywhere enar South East wales you might like to ask about a referral to Dr Sindari in Newport.

Othwerwise I would be wanting to know what approaches are already used ats chool and whether he gets any ABA or TEACCH style input, in order to atempt to build some kind of program approach.

I do have a handout on challenging behaviours in people with ASD but it's not stunning- happy to mail to you if you want it though? (powerpoint).

if it helps this is not the first time I have encountered similar; nappies no but people need to express their sexuality whatever their disability status, and people with an ASD at a severe level have such a limited repertoire available to them that it is likely to be a porblem stage for people; it's also a big awakening forr carers, and I fully admit that whilst I expect toc are for ds3 forever (or until I cannot any mroe) I recognise that pubertyy and sexuality issues may well make that impossible.

[wraith]

hrmm counciling is obviously a good point to start with.

that said if the interest is in the nappies and not anything else your in better condition.

with counciling the fixation maybe able to be lessened or gotten rid of.

but. there is a big BUT if these desires have been dormant for years there may be no quick fix solution
i can point you at a site that may be of help
wkld.diaperchat.com/wkld.html

but as i said if its deep seated there may be problems if you tell them there wrong and its bad or what ever.

since the op mentioned the brother is severely autistic its unlikely its a fetish and more likely its a comfort thing