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(9 Posts)
2shoes Thu 09-Jul-09 22:10:30

I would love to just chat to other parents of teens with sn on here.
one question, did you find when your dc hit teens you went through an omg life is never going to change moment? the bit when you realise how different they are.

Goblinchild Thu 09-Jul-09 22:15:24

Hi 2shoes!
A bit like the continuation of the thread 'You know you've got a child with sn when...'
Mine is different to most of his year group, but I'm rather glad of the difference.
I've had no issues with smoking, drinking, or in-your-face teen strops. he's a good lad, and whenever he's had a meltdown at school, we can always work out the cause. At home, provided you remember what works and what doesn't, he's a delight.

pickyvic Thu 09-Jul-09 22:31:50

ive got a teen aspie but im not the right person to answer this one just now as this realisation just happened very recently for me - and he is 17. normally - on another day - id be saying what gobinchild said. today im not. ask me again tomorrow and it may all be different!

Goblinchild Thu 09-Jul-09 22:36:15

Well, ask me in three years time and I may not be saying it either, but I'm savouring the moment. Especially as my daughter has become nocturnal since A levels finished and isn't doing much of anything at the moment.
Remember that scene in Se7en, when 'sloth' was discovered almost welded to the bed?
I'm worried I may have to turn her to prevent bedsores.

2shoes Thu 09-Jul-09 22:44:24

oh picky I have one of them, how do they sleep so much lol
ds will stay in bed all morning(he is 17 and nt) yesterday he had to get up early (6.30) as it was dh's birthday, he went back to sleep after the present giving..

springlamb Fri 10-Jul-09 18:04:00

Yes 2shoes. Have been going through my 'this is it, this is my life till the day I die' phase this whole year.
DS could live a fairly independent life but unfortunately his character will get in the way - he's very much like his dad to those he doesn't know well - quiet, reserved, unassertive, a 'putter upper' who rarely states what he wants/needs. But I feel that to achieve independence he has to be able to assert himself, state what he needs others to do and what he'll do himself. That's one reason why we're considering weekly boarding for his post-16.

I feel that if he goes to a local college, I'll drop him off and collect him then he'll sit in his bedroom with his telly, dvd, computer, ipod etc with me and dh on our zimmers doing all his personal care. And sometimes I have a sneaky feeling that we could still be doing this when he's 30.

Tell you what, let's stick 'em both in a bungalow somewhere in between us with 24 hour carers - then we can just pop in for cups of tea!

springlamb Fri 10-Jul-09 18:06:16

Is your dd into Bryan Adams and spending hours writing 'fascinating' analyses of the true meaning of Disney films? If not, we might have a problem!

LollipopViolet Fri 10-Jul-09 23:18:08

Well my parents called me the anti-rebel through the high school bit (although at times I was awful- stupid bullying almost made know ). I drank illegally once, at a friends' party, I don't smoke, don't swear, and did well at school college.

And now I'm panicking because the 3rd years have just graduated, and that means in 2 years I've got to make a huge decision about moving out to work away or stay at home... don't want to do it!

Hardest thing for my mum, I think, has been letting go, she's a worrier, like me. Hardest thing for me has been not letting people's perceptions of what I can't do, turn into reality because of their negativity iyswim? Oh, and having people say last year "you've only been offered a uni place so they can fill their quotas for disabled students". Thanks!

I'll show the lot of them!

springlamb Sat 11-Jul-09 12:33:02

From an academic point of view, he could probably go on to higher education studying something English based. He is a fantastic writer and already has quite a library of work. He also loves 'analysing' books and films.
But I fear this won't happen because of his reluctance to go out into the world, which maybe nothing to do with his cerebral palsy but his genetic makeup.
He has only been away twice in his life, both times caused him a lot of stress. He is already stressing out about going away for 4 days with the school in September with kids and staff who have known him since he was 3 years old. Over the last couple of years he has developed this sort-of 'anxiety syndrome' which is quite irrational and we're currently waiting for some help with that.
He will be OK financially and we will always be around but I always hoped that one day he would say 'mum, dad you've been great but P.O. now because Muriel is moving in'. But can't see that happening.
I have a friend 5 years older than me (and I'm no spring chicken), with a daughter 3 years younger than ds - she worries a lot that she is simply not going to be physically able to do the caring side when her dd is older.

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