I'm not coping well with meltdowns

[FromDespairToHere]

Sorry, I need to unload. DD is 21 and has ASD. She decided the xmas tree had to go up this evening. She chose the black tree (we have black, white and pink and they loosely rotate annually) and has bought new decorations for it.

A few months ago we cleared out the garage and decanted the trees from their decaying original boxes to plastic storage containers. The black one seems to have lost one of its legs in the process.

We've had murder. She was trying to put lights on it and it was falling over every time she touched it. She's trashed the garage looking for the missing leg (she'll be sorting it tomorrow). A branch of the tree snapped when it fell over for the nth time. I ended up ordering a new black tree off amazon that will be here in the middle of next week but not till after shouting at her that it was only a sodding tree and I didn't care.

Not only could I have done without the unnecessary expense of buying a new tree (not that expensive but money is tight this close to xmas) I'm finding it harder and harder to cope with her meltdowns. I used to be much more patient when she was in her teens and they were worse and more frequent but I keep finding myself flying off the handle with her. I'm 45 and possibly starting perimenopause, I don't know if that's not helping.

Anyway we've both calmed down but I did just need to unload. I feel really guilty when I lose my temper with her, I think that's why I bought a new tree.

[DrPeppersPhD]

It's understandable to snap at meltdowns, particularly after the year we've all had. They're over such minuscule (on the outside) things, sometimes I find myself getting pissed off at my OWN meltdowns. How have things been over Christmas?

[FromDespairToHere]

Thank you, I wasn't expecting anyone to answer!

We had a nice quiet Christmas. The tree I ordered was rubbish but after the initial disappointment we both ended up laughing at how skinny it is.