Since the start of secondary, my 14 year old DD has never settled. She has always struggled academically and we have always thought there was something 'wrong', for wont of a better word.
She has been through various hoops in the medical profession and promptly discharged for not having a great enough need for intervention/diagnosis. As a baby, she was very unsettled, a very poor sleeper, difficult to wean.
As a toddler, she was referred for speech therapy for being unable to respond to simple questions or follow a conversation, despite being able to talk on her own terms. She was also referred to a paediatrician for resistance to potty training, severe constipation resulting from fear of the toilet.
At infant school, she read quite well out loud but failed to understand vocabulary and learn pronunciation explained to her a multitude of times. She would misspell words right in front of her, spelling them correctly in one sentence and wrong the next. When she developed anxiety on year 2, they got an EP in who said she was 2 yrs behind but had a spiky profile, with visual perception off the scale. The teacher had thought she simply did not listen.
At junior school, the had her on the 2x tables for 3 yrs. In year 5, she had an EP called in again, who said there was 'nothing wrong with her and just needed attention.' They did 1-to-1 in Maths every lesson for 10 minutes which massively helped.
She was generally happy at juniors despite her struggles, with lots of friends. I sent her to an all girls' school with a v good reputation. I thought boys would distract her as she always had poor concentration.
Outwardly, if you met her, you would not see evidence of her academic struggles. She was and still is lively, chatty and verbally articulate and sometimes seems astute beyond her years..
Her academic work is slightly better but self esteem is on the floor and she has few friends and regular fall outs. She is physically and mentally immature and the gap has widened. The girls are often awful to her, taking advantage of her kindness. Sometimes she does annoy them or, in her own words, acts weird.
Her mental health has deteriorated. She has developed OCD and a fear of vomiting so extreme that she stopped eating regular meals for 2 mths. She is currently undergoing CBT. We are not making headway yet bu tthe interesting thing was that the therapist picked up on her problems straightaway, asking 'can you concentrate?' and noticed her fidgeting in the chair and taking ages to fill in the questionnaire that took me 10 mins to complete.
Can anyone tell me if this sounds familiar at all? She has had 2 ASD assessments and come back clear.
Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.
SN teens and young adults
Possible ADHD/SEN?
gandalf456 · 28/06/2018 13:43
instead of constantly receiving advice that only works on regular kids
hahaha and don't forget, if other people had your DD to stay for a day, she wouldn't behave like that.
We've all heard it all before it's still the same old rubbish, NT parents and teachers and even worse, some professionals haven't got a clue. 
Thanks for your support - and tell me about it! 
May I ask what is going on with you and your dc?
DD's now adult, mid 20's, so the diagnostic process for her was patchy to say the least, particularly as she wasn't disruptive in school and always tried her best. Dx ASC, particularly communication difficulties, anxiety and sensory issues with many co-morbids and severe fatigue.
For nearly 10 years I was fobbed off by GP and HV when I raised developmental delays and difference with peers 'All children do things in their own time' 'She just needs to try harder' School, other parents, friends and family all said I was over protective etc.
Ghastly state primary where she was bullied for being different yet who didn't do much to help her even after a comprehensive Sensory OT assessment in Y5 with loads of recommendations and a real eye-opener for me into the world of SN. Not only that but it confirmed that I'd been right all along, there were things dd could not do and there was a reason for that. That OT really shone a light into DD's world and helped me to understand her needs. I didn't know much in those days but I've learned since!
Brilliant prep, tiny classes, superb pastoral care, private secondary chosen for their excellent pastoral care, she left after first year of 6th form as anxiety and fatigue through the roof. Started investigations into overwhelming fatigue, these are still ongoing.
Fought, and it really was like a battle at times, for PIP for her on transfer from DLA and she was awarded PIP at Tribunal earlier this year. Not entitled to any means tested benefits.
Currently assessing what's best for our future, how to set something up that generates income so she's supported and is as independent as she can be.
I'm a lot further down the line than most of the posters on these boards so I try and chip in if I can, to save someone having to muddle through the system like I had to. It is very hard going at times and it's best to have as much up to date documentation as you can get on your daughter's difficulties as in my experience, parents are very often not believed and old reports on their own can be treated dismissively because circumstances could have changed in the intervening time.
However, several reports over childhood through teens and into adulthood which say similar things add weight to an argument of long-term conditions that are unlikely to change. I think you have quite a few already. 
Hang in there, no-one knows your daughter's conditions better than you do and if she can't advocate for herself, then you have to push and push until she gets what she needs. It's exhausting at times but I'm far too stubborn to give up!
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